This New Life
by C0ldSteel
Summary: The Doctor Duplicate feels a little out of his depth in a new universe, but he has his best friend to help him find his way. 10th Doctor duplicate/Rose Tyler ship. Rated M for mature content in later chapters. Starts out clean.
1. Journey Home

_I'm awaiting more interest in my Sherlock/Torchwood crossover before I continue it, and in the meantime I'm starting this story. If people like this, I'll make more chapters. This is partly a strategic exercise to prove to myself that I can write het romance. :p I really enjoy guy/girl ships, I just haven't written much on them yet. So this story is about one of my favorites, Rose and Ten. Also writing first person for the first time. I might change POV throughout... not sure yet._

_Spoilers: You need to have seen all of the David Tennant episodes up to "Journey's End" before you read this, or you will have big bad things spoiled for you. :p_

_Note: this story assumes that the deleted scene in which Ten gives the duplicate Tardis coral did not actually take place, even though I am a fan of the scene. This story is more about Rose and Ten's relationship than adventures, so I'm leaving the Tardis out. Sorry, Tardis. :p_

* * *

This New Life

Chapter One: Journey Home

* * *

The Tardis was gone. Rose stood uncertainly, more torn than ever, even though it was too late. She just stood there, staring.

I wanted her to come back to me. I'd enjoyed that one painfully happy moment when I believed that she'd chosen me, but now I wasn't sure anymore. Why wouldn't she turn toward me? I couldn't wait anymore. I stepped up next to her and took her hand. I was careful to be gentle, not forceful. I knew she was terribly confused and I didn't want to risk upsetting her.

I wanted her to look at me. To take her eyes off the spot where the Tardis had vanished. I turned my head toward her and she did look at me, at the same time. I won't pretend it wasn't awkward. I knew she was thinking of me as a stranger because I was new. But I had all the same memories... everything she thought of him, I deserved for her to think of me, and I wanted so badly to say so. But I suppose a part of me didn't quite believe it either.

I was brand new. All I had done so far was destroy the daleks. Which, in my opinion, deserved some credit. But I wasn't holding my breath for anyone to say "good job." I wondered if Rose thought of me as a killer. If she felt the same disgust for me that I had seen in my own eyes. In the Doctor's eyes.

We were the same person, but I felt when I looked in those eyes that there was a man that could command my attention if ever anyone could. He seemed very old. Very stern. Not unlike a schoolmaster. So righteously angry. I didn't know whether I wanted to be afraid of him or to laugh at the notion that I was having a go at myself, or to offer him my allegiance. Rose wasn't the only confused one.

By rights, I should have been more confused than her. He said... the other Doctor said... that I would age at the same rate as Rose. But how did he know that? Just because I have only one heart, he assumed my aging process would be comparable to a human's? Or did he know something I didn't? _How_ could he know something that I didn't? That was the most intriguing question. I wouldn't get tired of mulling that one over for years. But in any case, there was plenty more to be confused about.

Why did he give her up so easily? Was he that afraid that I'd blow up the universe? Did he seal us off in this universe to make sure he'd never have to lay eyes on me again, and give me Rose to make sure I'd stay? Did that mean he hated me? If so, did that mean he hated himself? Enough to give up Rose? Or was he not in love with Rose anymore? No... I was certain it wasn't that. He'd love Rose until he died, same as me.

"What do we do now?"

So many ways I could answer her question. So many... but I seized on the first thing I could think of that wasn't offensive or careless or stupid: "Whatever we want."

She squeezed my hand a little, and I felt marginally better. I'd forgotten all about Jackie. She soon reminded me of her presence.

"No, what you do now is get us home! What the devil was he thinking, dropping us here? Why couldn't he take us to the house? It's miles! We'll have to stay the night somewhere! I ask you!"

I steeled myself for what was probably to be a day or two's hard journey with one nagging woman and one very confused woman. And both bound to be very emotional. _Good lord, I've finally gone domestic._

"All right, Jackie, I'm sorry about the inconvenience, but this is where the CVE came out. They're extremely rare and difficult to navigate through—couldn't have done it without Donna's help. We're lucky to be on the right planet. But, as we are, I suggest we start walking." I led Rose back toward her mother. I offered them each an arm and stiffened my resolve again. _Heaven help me._

Rose didn't say much as we walked along. Jackie prattled on about how she couldn't believe Mickey had decided to stay behind, and how Pete would be worried sick about them, and how Tony was probably having fits. It occurred to me suddenly that if Rose married me, I'd have a baby brother. That was mind-blowing enough to keep me quiet until Jackie scolded me for not listening to a word she was saying.

Fortunately someone gave us a lift soon after we reached the highway. I made up a story about our craft expelling us on the beach and then disappearing... I managed to make it sound like a shipwreck, and not like a time machine deposit. The van driver expressed his sympathy and his amazement that we had survived the ordeal. I told him we hadn't been far from shore when the incident occurred. That much was more or less true. I've told many a fib in my time, but when speaking to good, normal people I try to keep close to the truth if possible.

That kind man took us a good part of the way back and dropped us on a bus route so we could get the rest of the way there. When I thanked him he said he wouldn't expect anything in return, which I thought was just as well: I had no money, as usual. However, when he was gone Jackie revealed that she'd left a tenner by his console where he wouldn't notice it until someone got in the passenger side. I took that show of goodwill as a good sign that Jackie and I would get along. I was desperate for a good sign. And Rose still wasn't talking.

Jackie finally fell asleep on the bus and I knelt in the aisle by Rose. I was killing my knees on the hard floor, but it was worth it to be able to hold her hand without making her reach backward awkwardly or lean across the aisle.

"Are you all right?" I asked her softly.

"Yeah... s'pose so. I dunno. What about you?"

"I feel..." I searched a long time for the right word, but I couldn't think of it. "Good," I said at last. "Weird, but good."

She squeezed my hand again, and again I felt slightly reassured. "It's just so... different."

"Me?" I swallowed. I didn't want to hear about her insecurity regarding me. But I knew it was better to know the worst to begin with. "One heart? No Tardis?"

"...From what I thought it would be. Going to the other universe, finding you. Finding him..."

I kept my face straight, but I winced on the inside. This was going to be awkward for a while. She didn't know whether to refer to us separately or as a unit. "I never thought it was possible," I heard myself say. I realized that so much I'd been wanting so badly to say was about to rush out all at once if I wasn't careful. I did my best to monitor the situation as my mouth ran on. "I wanted you back, but I tried to make myself happy knowing that you were safe. That Pete saved you and he'd look after you and I should stop feeling sorry for myself..."

She started rubbing my hand, then. I spared barely a moment to wonder if it was out of affection or merely comfort. I didn't let myself dwell on it long enough to hope that it was both.

"I felt like I'd let you down. I _did_ let you down. If Pete hadn't come back for you..." I had to pause then. I hadn't controlled myself well enough, and my voice would have cracked on the next syllable if I'd gone on.

Then her other hand was on my face, slipping to the back of my neck, pulling me closer until my forehead rested against hers. "It's okay. I made my choice to stay with you, and I'm the one who decided to take a chance to pull that lever back. You did everything you could to protect me."

"That's it, though. I did all I could and it wasn't enough. I shouldn't have thought I could do it."

"Doctor."

We were too close together to look at each other properly, but I tried to focus my eyes on hers anyway.

"Hush."

I didn't have an argument. I dipped my head to the side and kissed her temple. She was too good to me.

She stroked my hair. "Now go and sit down—that can't be comfortable."

Ah, how right she was. I couldn't keep all the pain off my face as I got to my feet. My knees were screaming at my brain. Something like "What were you thinking?! See if we ever carry you up flights of stairs in your old age! You should take better care of us!"

I let myself fall into the seat across from Rose. She leaned back and closed her eyes, but I don't think she fell asleep. I leaned my head against the seat in front of me and just watched her. I realized she was all I had. I hardly knew a thing about this universe or how it was different from mine. I had no Tardis. Rose and Jackie and Pete were the only people I knew here. I didn't even know if time lords existed in this universe. I suddenly felt very alone.

_Why did the Doctor leave us here? We belong in the other universe anyway... all of us except Pete. But better one displaced soul than three, right? Mickey got to stay there._ No matter how I looked at it, it didn't seem fair. I should have insisted on taking some time to discuss our options. But... the Doctor had been so firm. So sure that this was what we had to do. It hadn't occurred to me to question him. Maybe it was because he was me... maybe I figured I knew best. Most of the time, I tend to trust myself. And if I was honest, I was probably just a bit thrilled that I got to be with Rose... without him.

I might have dozed a little. I didn't really feel tired, but I guess I was. Next thing I knew, I heard Rose telling Jackie to wake up.

"I texted Dad; he should be waiting for us."

"Good," Jackie said sleepily. She took Rose's hand as they shuffled into the aisle, and I awkwardly took up the rear.

I wanted to be beside Rose, holding her hand. But that would just be awkward with her mum already holding one of them. Though it might have made an endearing picture for Pete, to see us all come out like that. Might have scored me some points with the dad of the girl I hoped to marry. Oh well. Too late now.

Pete hugged Rose first. He held her tight and mumbled things I couldn't quite make out. I realized that he hadn't expected her to come back. Her plan had been to stay with me in the other universe. That had always been her plan. For the first time since being reunited with Rose, I felt sorry for Pete. I knew what it felt like to lose a child. To have one stolen from you. I needed to be clever... act like it had been largely my idea for us to come back to live in this universe. Then Pete would be grateful and not give me any trouble about being with Rose.

After he hugged and kissed Jackie, Pete turned to me. "Didn't expect to see you back here, Doctor," he said.

"It was... rather sudden," I said.

"What's become of the Tardis?"

"That's a long story."

"Let's get home first," said Jackie. "We could all do with a cup of tea."

_Jackie and her insistence on tea save the day again,_ I thought. And I smiled. Maybe Jackie and I really would get along.

The house was spacious, but it had a warm, lived-in feel. When we arrived, Pete paid the babysitter and looked in on Tony before we sat down to our tea. Then the story came out a little at a time.

I think we were all three of us very reluctant to explain it all. It was very hard getting started. Rose had apparently kept her parents up to speed on her attempts to contact me, so she didn't have to tell much of anything before I came into the story. I took it on myself to explain about the stolen planets, but I had no enthusiasm for it. I hated talking about the daleks. I hated explaining who Davros was even more. I was grateful to gloss over some of the details, like how the Doctor gave up hopes of survival before I was born, and how he thought that Davros had killed Donna in the Tardis. But it seemed wrong because Donna was brilliant. Everyone should know what we did together and how amazing it was... even if I did show up in front of her without the protection of any clothing... somehow that detail really didn't bother me. Donna was like a sister—to me even more than to my predecessor. Donna and I were a unit in our own way. I would miss her terribly.

I let my mind rabbit-trail a bit while Jackie told Pete about her part in recent events. I wondered about her end of the human-time lord meta crisis. Would she stay super clever? Would it wear off? Could her human brain contain it? It worried me. Of course I would take care of her—the other me—but I wanted to be the one to take care of her. I wanted to be sure she was all right.

I felt Rose's hand slide over mine on the table. It was warm from holding her teacup. I turned my hand over to hold on to her, reminding myself to be grateful for what I had and stop worrying about things I couldn't change.

"So, if there's two of you," Pete said when we were finally done, "and you're the same person... do you share thoughts?"

"We share memories," I answered. "Up until the point of the almost-regeneration. But if you mean do we have a psychic link, then no we don't. Whatever happens to me here won't affect him. We are the same person, but from now on we're forming separate memories. We're becoming different people." I wondered how Rose felt about what I was saying, but her face remained blank as she stared into her cup.

"And he just... left in the Tardis. Left you here."

"Well... only room for one Doctor in each universe, eh?"

Pete looked at Rose. "You were going to stay there..."

"That wasn't what he wanted," Rose said with a tiny shrug.

I felt a twinge then... did she think he didn't love her? I shouldn't mind; it just meant she wouldn't be pining for him... but he was me, and I felt the injustice personally. I put my arm around her and laid my cheek on the top of her hair. "He knew that I needed you. That your mum and dad need you too. This was the best way." I still wasn't completely sure I believed that, but I decided to have a little faith in the other Doctor to try to instill some in Rose. She needed to believe that this was where we belonged. If she could believe it then I could, and then it might be true.

* * *

_I'll probably add more chapters to this, especially if I get encouraging reviews. Thanks for reading.  
_


	2. Family

_Looks like I have some interest and I'm not doing something that's been done a million times, so here's another chapter. ^^_

* * *

This New Life

Chapter Two: Family

* * *

I tried to tell Jackie I didn't need to sleep, but she insisted on showing me to the guest room. I told her I slept on the bus, even though I was sure I hadn't had a proper sleep. It did no good. I was expected to stay in that room for the remainder of the night, and I'd just have to make the best of it.

I opened the small closet. No hangers. Just a few spare linens. I hung my jacket on the bedpost. Why hadn't I packed a bag before leaving the Tardis? No spare clothes, no sonic screwdriver, no psychic paper... I took a deep breath to steady myself. I mustn't panic.

I sat on the bed and slowly took off my trainers. I made it last a long time... the few hours of darkness left were going to drag on forever. Then someone knocked. I sprang up and opened the door to find Rose standing there with a bundle of pajamas in her arms.

"These are Dad's. They won't fit right..."

"Thank you," I said, taking them from her.

She reached into her pocket and held out a pack of gum to me. "We haven't got a spare toothbrush, so..."

"That stuff'll give you cancer," I remarked, trying to sound lighthearted and not really succeeding. "The fake sugar, I mean."

"Cancer or cavities; your choice." She didn't really succeed either.

"Got any mouth wash?" I suggested.

"Yeah, I think Mum's got some. I'll see if I can sneak into her bathroom."

"Well, if it's any trouble—"

"It's not. I'll be right back."

I closed the door and quickly changed out of my trousers and into the pajama pants. I pulled my tee shirt over my head and was about to put on the pajama top when I caught sight of myself in the mirror over the bureau. I moved in for a closer look.

It was me, all right... but I looked different somehow. I leaned close to the mirror and turned my head from side to side, looking at the way my hair was standing, and the length of my sideburns. Then I looked down at my chest and watched the infinitesimal twitching of heartbeat—just on my left. I looked at the right side and felt slightly sick. I was broken. And I could never be fixed.

Rose knocked on the door again and I hurriedly shrugged on the pajama top before opening it.

"Got it... hope you like cinnamon. That's all she had."

"Love it," I lied. Don't get me wrong—I do love cinnamon. Just not as a mouthwash flavor.

"There's a lav right next door," she said, tipping her head to the side so I knew which way to go.

"Thanks." I waited. I wanted to squeeze her, but I didn't want to scare her. There was just no telling how she'd react to anything right now.

Fortunately she was a little bolder than I was at that point. She stepped toward me and slipped her arms around me and I got my wish. I pressed my face into her hair and closed my eyes, clinging to the one thing I was sure of.

"Tell me again," she whispered.

It took me only a moment to understand. I was still hesitant. The words were rusty coming out... but I knew she was the one person that deserved them, no matter how insecure I felt about giving them out. I gathered some resolve, injected as much sincerity as I could and forced the words out. "I love you." It was quiet, but genuine. I could get good at this.

She nestled her head on my shoulder. "I love you, Doctor."

I knew she meant it, too. But... did she really mean _me?_ I couldn't keep that tiny doubt from resurfacing. How long would it be before I could be sure? I kissed the top of her head. "Good night, Rose."

"Good night." She gave me a last squeeze and slipped away.

I looked down at the bottle of rinse in my hand. Cinnamon. Leave it to Jackie. Thank God it required only thirty seconds of swishing. In spite of the flavor, I did feel better afterwards. I still doubted that I could sleep, but I was in for a surprise. When I got into bed I think I was asleep within five minutes.

* * *

It was broad daylight when I woke. Late morning. I tried to gather my wits... how much of my dream had really happened? It had been so bizarre... Davros threatening to undo all of reality, the daleks standing by waiting to kill us, another me growing from my severed hand, somehow being connected to a remarkably enlightened Donna...

I heard the door open a crack and I turned my head to see Jackie peeking in at me.

"Oh, you're finally awake. Mister I'm-Not-Tired. Do you want some breakfast?"

"Oh, um... that's very kind," I said, sitting up. I suddenly realized I was ravenous. "Yeah, I'd like something if you don't mind."

"All right. Get yourself dressed; we're going shopping after."

I frowned and threw the covers back. "Shopping?"

"You need some proper clothes. You can't just wear the same suit day after day, you plum."

That was enough to shut me up for the time-being. I was the other-me. I was in Pete's universe. I was late for breakfast, and I was going shopping with Jackie Tyler. _God have mercy on me._

I got dressed as quickly as possible. When I found my way back to the kitchen where we'd had tea the night before, the others were all there. Pete was looking at the newspaper, Jackie was preparing a breakfast plate (presumably for me) and Rose was holding her phone, apparently texting, but she snapped it shut when she saw me.

"Good morning," said Pete.

"Good morning," I answered. I thought too late of calling him "sir." That could have earned me some respect. I'd try to use it later. "Sorry for sleeping so late... I didn't realize how tired this body was."

"Humans generally try for eight hours," Jackie said matter-of-factly. "You might need that much too, now."

"Eight hours," I repeated. "That's... a whole third of a day."

"Good math skills there," Rose said with a small smile.

"I couldn't possibly sleep that long. It's such a waste." Silence fell as Jackie set my breakfast in front of me, and I realized I might have been rude. "No offense," I said.

"That's all right," Jackie said. "You've got a lot to get used to."

I was surprised at how hospitable Jackie was being. I figured she was doing it to support Rose. She knew this was how things were going to be, so she was making the best of it for her daughter's sake. That made some sense. I suppose it was most surprising that she was pulling it off so well. Still, I dared to hope that I could count her as a friend. I knew I'd made her hate me at times, but that seemed to be forgotten for now.

I was very full when I got down to my last few bites of breakfast. Jackie asked if I wanted another couple of eggs and I had to fight to keep my horror at the thought of stuffing myself any more from showing on my face. "Oh, I couldn't possibly," I said. "It was very good, though."

"No wonder you're so bloody skinny," she said. "Tony eats more than you, easily."

I looked around. "Where is Tony, by the way?"

"He's been up and back down for a nap now. Human babies sleep even more of the day away." She didn't sound snarky as she so often did. Just genuinely good-natured.

I gave her a small smile. Maybe Jackie had changed a lot since moving to this universe. I liked the change. I felt less uneasy... I hadn't spoiled everyone's lives completely. I'd gotten Jackie and Pete together. That had to count for something.

"If you're ready, we should go before he wakes up again. Throws a fit when I try to go anywhere without him."

So, Tony was a little tyrant. I wondered if that was Jackie's parenting style at work... more likely Pete spoiled him, I decided. But I wouldn't get involved. The domesticity had to end somewhere.

On the way out to Jackie's car, I said to her, "I don't know about going shopping so soon... I mean, I'm penniless..."

Jackie waved a hand at me. "Don't worry about that. Pete's loaded, remember?"

"I don't feel right taking Pete's money."

She laughed. "Never bothers me. Don't worry about it. If you really insist you can pay us back later. Now, come on."

Pay them back. I'd have to get a job. An actual, proper job. Like a human.

Rose and I got into the back, and Jackie drove us to the nearest mall. She pointed out a few landmarks on the way. Rose held my hand and was quiet like the night before. I answered Jackie to be polite. I really should have been interested in my new surroundings, but I wasn't.

We looked at a few suits. Jackie asked if I wanted another brown pinstripe. I sort of did... but I didn't at the same time. Wearing it would make me feel like I was taking my own back. But then again... it would also make me feel like I was encroaching on someone else. I couldn't make up my mind. "No... not just now. I like the blue," I said. "Maybe I should get a black one for formal occasions though, yeah?"

"All right. And we'll get you a few different collared shirts and some ties."

"And a few tee shirts, if that's all right."

"You don't wear tee shirts," Rose put in.

I glanced down at the tee under my suit jacket. "I like them," I said meekly.

"Since when?"

I should have kept my mouth shut. What I wore was not nearly as important as establishing a comfortable status quo. Still, the question had been asked, and I had to tell her the truth. "Since I got a bit of Donna in me." It felt horrible saying that. It was sure to add to Rose's doubts. That nagging little voice that was surely telling her that I wasn't _him._ "I don't have to get any if you don't like them." That didn't sound right either. I felt like I was on a slippery slope, heading for a cliff.

"No, it's all right..." Rose looked out the glass front of the shop at the window of another across the way. "They've got tee shirts there... I'll go have a look while you find your collars and ties."

"Okay..." It didn't feel right, letting her out of my sight.

"Don't worry about her," Jackie told me. From the way that she said it, I could tell it was a lesson she'd had to teach herself over time. "This is her territory now, and she can take care of herself."

"I know." I tried not to sound concerned.

"And frankly, I think it's a little weird that you're in a suit all the time," she added. "We'll get you some bluejeans while we're at it."

"You don't have to do all this for me."

"I know. But if I don't, what will you do? I'll tell you what—you wouldn't take care of yourself. You'd wear that suit until it was ragged. You'd live in a box somewhere—one that's _not_ bigger on the inside. You and Rose would both end up miserable. Well, I'm not having that, Mister. So whether you like it or not, I'm going to teach you how to live like a proper human."

"Jackie."

"What is it?"

I wondered as I looked at her whether the matron of my Timelord family on Gallifrey had ever paid such caring attention to me. I couldn't remember anyone, even in my own house, showing such concern. "I'd like to hug you, if you don't mind."

"Oh, come here." She wrapped me up in such a tender mother-hug that I actually felt my eyes sting as my childhood flashed before them. Jackie and I weren't going to be friends after all. We were family.

When we got to the other clothes shop Rose had a pile of shirts for me to look at. She held them up one at a time.

"Classic," she said, holding up a black shirt with the yellow Batman symbol on it.

"I dunno," I said. "Not really my... speed."

"Okay." Rose tossed that one aside and held up a navy blue shirt with the red Superman symbol. "So I guess this one's a no, too?"

"Actually..." I took the shirt from her and held it up in front of me. "Man from another planet... saving the world. It might do."

"Okay, make a 'maybe' stack, then. How about this?"

The next shirt was dull red with faint... abs? detailed in faded black. Surely she'd put that in the pile as a joke. But I couldn't tell just by looking at her face. Maybe I should laugh. But secretly, I wanted that shirt. I can't explain why. Maybe it was Donna's sassiness coming through. It just seemed so... cool is the word, I suppose.

I took it from her slowly and held it up as I had the Superman shirt. "You like this one?" I asked, trying to sound casual.

She nodded.

"Me too." I set it beside the Superman tee. That was the "yes pile" now.

The next one was red and white: Coca-cola.

"Now, I'm not becoming an advert for Coke. Especially not with your dad in the soft drink business," I declared.

Rose smiled and discarded the shirt. Next was a grey silhouette of Tintin.

"Oh, yes," I said with genuine enthusiasm. Tintin went with the abs shirt.

By the time we left, we were all carrying bags. One formal black suit with bow tie, waistcoat and cufflinks; one pair of black dress shoes; three collard shirts—white, tan and light burgundy; six silk neckties; five tee shirts; three pairs of jeans and a couple packs of ordinary socks and underwear. When I asked Jackie how much she'd spent she said not to worry about it. She would keep the receipts and if I really wanted to pay her and Pete back later on, she'd give them to me. I let it go for the time-being.

"We ought to get you a watch, too," Jackie said on the way out to the car. "Oh, and a phone. You'll need a phone, won't you? You can join our plan. It's not that much to add a line."

"Do they have fob watches here?" I asked.

"No one carries a fob watch anymore."

"But do they make them?"

"I suppose somebody does."

"I want a fob watch."

"Oh, don't be silly."

"Mum," Rose cut in. "Let him get a fob watch if he wants. What's wrong with it?"

"Nothing... just think it's silly. What you want to have to pull it out of your pocket for? Much handier on your wrist."

I couldn't help chuckling. "Handier on your wrist, eh?" I said, wiggling the fingers of the hand I'd grown from.

"Stop it, you."

Rose cracked a smile then. It was like sunshine breaking through on a rainy day. It made me feel like I could survive this. I could be part of this world.

We got lunch in town and then Jackie found an accessory shop that carried fob watches. We found one with Celtic-looking stars and a moon on it. Jackie thought it was a bit camp, but I didn't care. I didn't like any of the others with their trains and mountains and skylines.

Tony was up when we got home. He wasn't talking in sentences yet, only a few words. But he was certainly getting "Mum" down. He was wary of me at first. I didn't ask to hold him. I sat on the sofa with Rose and awkwardly tried to make conversation.

"I guess I should look into getting a job," I said. "I don't know where to start looking, though. Don't suppose Torchwood's hiring?"

"No, you're not going to Torchwood," Rose said firmly.

"Why not?"

"Because if they find out you're not all human, they'll lock you up. You should try at a research center or something."

"Okay... and then once I have income I can get a... a flat or something, right?"

"You're not getting a flat," Jackie interrupted. She set Tony on the carpet with a variety of toys and sat near him. "If you get a flat all your income will go into the rent. We've got plenty of room here."

"Well..." I looked at Rose. "I guess we could think about it a while anyway. No rush. Eventually, though, I'll need a place of my own."

"Eventually, yeah. But give yourself time to settle first."

Tony crawled over to the sofa and tugged at Rose's pant leg. She leaned over and offered her hands. When Tony opened his chubby little arms, she scooped him up and held him in her lap. He played with the zipper on her jacket.

I felt like someone had dropped a hot stone into the pit of my stomach. Such a heavy sorrow and gripping desire at the same time. The beautiful woman I loved holding a small child... all over again I felt the loss choking me. But I also wanted so badly for Rose to hold _my_ child. I wanted to pull them both into my arms.

"He's in a good mood now, Rose," Jackie said. "See if he'll go to the Doctor."

"Oh, he's happy where he is," I said quickly.

"He needs to let other people hold him more," Jackie insisted.

Rose turned Tony toward me and he looked up at me with big, wondering baby eyes. I held my right hand out to him and he grabbed my ring finger. I smiled at him. He pulled my finger into his mouth.

"Now, Tony, that's not polite," Jackie scolded.

"It's all right," I told her. "He trusts me now." I slowly and smoothly got my other arm around him and pulled him over into my lap. He kept sucking on my finger. This oral fascination didn't last long in Timelord children. I'd always found it sort of amusing to watch. The process was very entertaining... find object, inspect visually, inspect orally, if it's pleasing continue to taste and feel with the tongue... such methodology of discovery. The scientific method in pure innocence.

Rose leaned on my shoulder and petted the soft peach fuzz on Tony's head. I suspected that seeing me with the baby had done something for her similar to what seeing her with him had done for me. That was a very good sign. I turned to kiss her forehead.

Tony laughed around my finger. I quirked an eyebrow at him and kissed Rose again. Tony laughed harder.

Rose giggled. "You silly," she told Tony.

I decided I could get away with kissing her once more before it became too awkward. I was rewarded by one of the best baby laughs I'd heard in a century. We were all grinning by that time.

"There you go," Jackie said in satisfaction. "Best mates, you two. Now Rose, when are you going back to Torchwood?"

"Thought I'd go in tomorrow. Just a half day. Catch them up on everything. Well... almost everything."

"Do you want me to go with you?" I asked.

"No; you're the part of 'everything' that I'm not telling them."

"They'll find out I'm here eventually. Maybe it would be better to just fill them in now."

"They don't have to find out..."

"What do you want him to do?" asked Jackie. "Call himself John Smith for the rest of his life? That's not who he is."

Jackie was fast becoming my rock. She was more convinced of my identity than I was.

"I don't know, Mum. I just don't want them knowing. Not yet, anyway."

Silence. Tony found a jacket button with his free hand. He tried to get it into his mouth along with my finger, but his own hands were getting in the way.

"Pete's going back to the office tomorrow," Jackie said.

"Maybe he could give me a lift into town," I suggested. "I could look for work."

"Maybe Pete could find you a place in his company, even."

I pursed my lips. I didn't mind the idea of working with Pete, but his company didn't interest me in the slightest. "I don't know... It's a nice thought, but fizzy drinks aren't really my..."

"He's a scientist," Rose put in. "He doesn't want to sit around figuring out how to get people to spend more money on a product."

That was a bit more blunt than I would have been, but she made a valid point.

"Well, I dunno," Jackie said a little defensively.

"I'm sure I'll find something," I said, though I wasn't really sure of anything. I kept my eyes on Tony and wondered again if I really would age along with Rose, at the same rate. I wouldn't have told her I would if I didn't believe it. I'd just been more sure at the time... What if I aged _faster_ than she did? What if I was an unstable life form that had just months to live?

Tony belched and deposited white liquid and semi-solids on my hand and jacket.

"Ohhh, Tony," Jackie said, hopping up to take him off me.

"No, it's all right," I said, fending her off with one arm. "Just get me something to clean him up with."

"Are you sure? Here, take your jacket off and I'll treat it right away."

I let her help me off with the jacket, getting my hand back to Tony's mouth before he had time to protest its being taken away with the button. He stared at me uncertainly for a moment before going for my index finger this time.

"You're really good with babies, aren't you?" Rose said. "I never knew that about you."

"Still more surprises where that came from," I told her.

She kissed my cheek. "You'll have to show me more soon."

I felt just the tiniest bit warm. But if I blushed, it must have died down by the time Jackie came back with a damp cloth and a soft towel to clean Tony's romper and my hand. I relaxed. I felt comfortable now. Like things really would work out.

* * *

_Please review. Tell me specifically what you like or don't like, if it's not too much trouble. Oh and yes—the "abs shirt" is the one David Tennant wore in Hamlet. Just for fun.  
_


	3. Job Hunting

_I'm having fun writing the Doctor; I hope you enjoy reading. ^^  
_

* * *

This New Life

Chapter Three: Job Hunting

* * *

We had pizza for supper and watched a film about some war in that Earth's history. Human war is so different from Timelord war. It's all about marching and weapons and blood and noise and mud and smoke... and a dash of romance, apparently. When Timelords wage war it's all in the position, the strategy, the mind power, the manipulation of time, the inter-dimensional attacks, the complexity of the defenses... and pride. Lots and lots of pride.

The Tylers liked to keep the lights low when they were watching the TV, and I was glad they couldn't see how the production affected me. When the main character's friend was torn apart by a grenade, Rose grimaced and pressed her face against my shoulder. I leaned my head on top of hers as the images grew blurry in my moist eyes. The friend was still alive and screaming for the hero to finish him. It was an age-old question of ethics, and one that I hated. I used to wonder whether I could kill a friend if he was in pain and could never get well. I always concluded that I had just better not ever get into that position, because I'd never be able to make that decision.

The hero lifted his gun and brought it down on his friend's head. It was my turn to grimace. Why hadn't he just shot him? He wasn't out of bullets. It might have made things more dramatic if he'd spent his last bullet on the friend and consequently been captured by the enemy... But then the camera panned down and I could see that the friend was still breathing. The blow had only knocked him unconscious. _Well, there you are. That's what to do. He's going to die anyway, so make him unaware of his last moments. Take the pain away._ Indeed, the hero sat by his friend until he breathed his last. Then his look became very dark and he stood up with an air of finality.

I took Rose's hand and she peeked at the screen to see whether the gory bit was over. Within a few minutes, the hero had killed a dozen or so enemy soldiers, led a rag-tag band into the enemy headquarters and won the day for... for whoever was fighting. I couldn't even remember. The final shot showed the hero looking at the worn photo of his lover and saying weakly that he'd be home soon.

"Well, that was good," Pete said, going to turn the lights on.

When they came up, I could see mascara tracks down Jackie's face. She'd been even more moved than I had, and the most she'd seen of war was with daleks and cybermen... nothing like the war represented in the film. I didn't think she'd lost anyone to war. She must just be very tender-hearted. Humans did tend to be emotional, after all.

"I didn't really like it," Rose commented. "Let's watch something without guns next time."

"It was so sad," said Jackie. "Poor Dilan."

I hadn't remembered any of the character's names except the main one, but Jackie sounded like she knew the friend character personally.

"Oh, well. We'll watch a comedy next time," said Pete.

I wondered a little at Rose's protest against guns... when she showed up in the other universe, she'd been carrying one of the biggest guns I'd ever seen a human carrying. Maybe she was worried about the influence on me. Since I was violent and dangerous and all. That thought was meant to be funny. It wasn't funny.

Why did the Doctor think I was too dangerous to be on my own? What made him think I _wanted_ to be on my own, anyway? And where did he get off calling it "genocide" when it was only daleks? They shouldn't be counted as a race. They aren't born, they didn't evolve—they were engineered to kill. Wiping them out wasn't a crime; it was something to be celebrated. Extermination of killing machines, of a so-called species whose very existence threatened the existence of every other living thing.

"Doctor?"

I turned my head toward Rose quickly. Had she said my name more than once? _I hope not..._ "Yes?"

"Are you all right?"

The corners of my mouth shot up. "Always."

She didn't look convinced.

"I'm having a cuppa before bed," Jackie announced. "If anyone else wants one, I'll put the kettle on."

"I will," I said.

"All right; I'll call you when the water's hot."

Just then, Tony erupted in crying. The cry spoke to me as if it were some language I had learned a long time ago and forgotten. Which, in a way, I suppose it was. All humanoids speak a sort of code when they're babies, and most parents learn to decipher many different messages from it.

"I can get him," I offered. "Does he need a bottle?"

"No, he probably needs changing," Jackie said with the look only tired mothers possess. "Or possibly both. Pete will go."

"It's no trouble," I insisted.

Rose looked at me skeptically. "When's the last time you changed a diaper?"

"Well..." My own children? That had been well over six hundred years... no, seven hundred. Blimey. And then my granddaughter on occasion... But hadn't there been someone else's kid more recently? Surely it hadn't been that long.

"Right, if it's taking you that long to remember, I'd better come with you."

She led the way to the baby's room and I followed, annoyed with my memory letting me down. I shouldn't have offered to get Tony up anyway—I'd decided not to get involved with him. But holding him that afternoon had gotten me attached.

"Hullo there, Tony," I greeted him.

Tony's crying faltered for a moment as he assessed our presence. Then he cried again to make sure we knew he wasn't satisfied yet. I lifted him out of the crib and carried him toward the changing table.

"No fun having a wet nappy, is it?" I said conversationally.

"Are you sure it's just wet?" Rose asked, switching on the light.

"Smelt it soon as I picked him up. It's merely wet."

"That's a keen sense of smell."

"Yeah... nice to know I kept some of my Timelord traits." _Too bad the other heart wasn't one of them._

Tony was still whimpering a little. I found the clean diapers and soon swapped out the old one, adding a dash of baby powder. I was quite proud of myself for handling it so smoothly.

"Nice work," Rose said dryly. "Only you've put it on backward."

I frowned at my handiwork. Blasted human inventions. I pulled the Velcro tabs back and resolved the error. "Better?"

"Perfect."

"There you are, my lad. Good as new." I picked Tony up again and cradled him against my shoulder. He continued to fuss quietly. "I think Jackie was right; he's hungry, too."

"Well, bring him along to the tea party then."

"Rose?" I held out my free arm to her. She came to me and let me hold her a moment.

A moment was all Tony needed to get a fistful of her hair. Fortunately, Rose knew how to get him to open his hand and get her hair away from him without panicking.

"You know, you're pretty good with babies yourself," I said.

"Have to be, don't I? Living here. Come on."

Rose heated a bottle for Tony while I poured the tea. Once Tony caught sight of Jackie, he wouldn't be quiet until she was holding him.

"Is it very strange?" I asked Jackie. "I mean, to come back and have a kid after so long..."

"It is a bit strange," she said. "But I was surprised at how much I remember now that I'm at it again. Of course, being older now, it's a bit more difficult. But I've got Rose to help out, so it evens out in the end. You never do remember quite how little sleep you get until you're back in it, though. I didn't miss that."

"Worth it, though," I said, reaching out to pet Tony's cheek.

"Oh, yeah." Jackie gave me a knowing smile.

In that look I could tell that Jackie knew what I was feeling. She knew very well that I wanted to marry Rose and raise a child with her. And she approved.

When the bottle was ready, Rose took Tony off Jackie's hands so she could have her tea in peace. I had a notion to feed him myself, but I kept my mouth shut. I'd done enough for one day. I drank my tea and watched Rose and allowed myself to entertain those yearning thoughts... sitting up with Rose some night while she fed our baby. Watching that precious life develop and helping to shape it. It was the one scenario that would make "going domestic" more attractive than any other adventure ever could be. A family with Rose.

A little later, Tony fell asleep before he'd quite finished his bottle. Rose carried him back off to bed. I thought about going with her, but two of us were more likely to wake him up again, so I stayed in my seat.

"Needs to be a mum one day, doesn't she?" Jackie said, with that same look.

I took a sip of tea to give me time to decide how to answer. But she went on with another question.

"How are you two?"

Well, I'd just taken a sip, so I couldn't turn around and do it again without looking very awkward. "We're... good, I think." That was vague, I knew... and vagueness characterized the way I felt quite well... and Jackie could tell.

"She's so in love with you, you know."

I wanted to hear that, but I wasn't sure I should let myself believe it.

"She is. She just needs a little reassurance. After she gets home tomorrow, you two should take a walk round the grounds and talk. You'll have to let your guard down if she's going to see that you're still you."

I knew she was right. I should have known what she was saying already, but hearing it was what I needed.

Jackie leaned across the table and patted my hand. "You'll be fine. Long as you don't muck it up."

"Oh, thank you, Jackie," I said a bit sarcastically.

"On the beach, you told her you loved her, right?"

"Yeah."

"Good. See? You're not useless at this."

I gave a half-hearted chuckle and drained my teacup.

I used the mouthwash again that night, since we'd forgotten to pick one up in town. Maybe I'd just have to get used to cinnamon. I said good night to Rose; it felt a little less awkward this time. I wore the Superman tee shirt to bed with a pair of boxer shorts. For some reason that seemed nicer than wearing Pete's pajamas again. I think it was the first time I'd slept in such a brief outfit since my last regeneration.

* * *

Rose had already left when I got up in the morning. I took a shower before breakfast and put on the abs tee shirt. I wanted to look stronger than I felt. I had breakfast and rode into town with Pete. He dropped me in a "sciency" part of town, full of hospitals and research centers and chemist's shops.

I wandered around a little until I found something called the International Center for the Study of Outer Space—Icsos for short. I went through the automatic doors and found my way to the reception desk.

"Good morning. How does someone find a job in this place?"

The receptionist's eyes went slowly from my hair down over my tee shirt before she turned a skeptical look on my face. "Do you have a letter of recommendation?" she asked.

"Do I need one? I've only just moved here. Been overseas. Ish."

"Do you have a graduate degree in physics?"

"Oh, yes," I said enthusiastically. I could tell that it surprised her. She might not even believe me.

"Well, I can let you fill out our standard application," she said, pulling out a file folder and handing it to me.

"Thanks very much. Have you got a pen I could borrow?"

She gave me a pen with a very begrudging look.

"Thank you." I spotted a set of chairs against the wall and made my way over there to fill out the paperwork.

_Name (Last, Middle initial, First): Doctor _ Title: The _ Suffix: __

_City of residence: London, England_

_List at least two references to whom you are not related: Peter A. Tyler _(The Doctor listed Pete's address)_. Rose M. Tyler, see above._

_State your highest level of completed education: Wizard._

_What was your field of study? Everything._

When he finally finished, the Doctor handed his folder back to the receptionist, who flipped through it quickly. The surprise was plain on her face now.

"So, is there anyone I should talk to about my application? Should I ring back in a day or two?" I asked.

"That won't be necessary. I'll send this directly to File Thirteen and they'll contact you, should you qualify for any available positions."

"Thank you; I appreciate it." I turned and walked toward the door, but something didn't feel right. It seemed like the receptionist was in a terrible hurry to be rid of me. I glanced back and saw that she was looking down at her desk. Then she moved her chair back and bent under it. When she glanced my way, I pretended to study a flier on the wall. I became even more pretentiously engrossed when a younger woman approached the desk from one of the corridors which led away from it.

"Tracy, Mawden said to see if you'd had lunch yet."

"About time," the receptionist said. She gathered her purse and water bottle and left the little walled-in area.

After she walked by me and out the door, I pulled a couple of fliers down off the wall. _This isn't how I do things,_ I told myself. _A__pplications and waiting... I'm a man of action._ A plan was forming in my mind, and I knew I'd need to carry it out quickly, before Tracy returned. I walked purposefully past the desk and down the corridor from which the younger woman had appeared. No psychic paper... I'd have to rely completely on my wits and charm.

I found an office with the placard "H. Mawden, Chemical Engineering." The door was open, but I knocked on it anyway.

An aged man, presumably Mr. Mawden, looked up from a clipboard he was consulting. "Yes... Benton, wasn't it?"

"Oh, no Sir, I'm new," I said, stepping into the room. "I was passing your laboratory and I thought you might be able to help me with something if you have a moment."

"What is it?"

"Tracy at the desk told me to get these papers to File Thirteen, and I'm not sure where that is. But she's gone to lunch now, so I can't ask her."

Mawden smiled sympathetically. "I'm afraid she's having a laugh at you, son. File Thirteen is office slang for the dustbin."

_Tracy, how could you!_ "Oh, I see. That explains that. There's one other thing..."

"Yes?"

"I've got a mate who just turned in an application here. He's terribly well-qualified, but I'm not sure it's reflected very well on paper. Is there anything I can do for him? Someone I could talk to about getting him hired?"

"If you're very sure of his qualifications it might do some good to speak to Doctor Preston over in the physics department. You know him?"

"Not well," I said evasively. "Is he the grey-haired chap?"

"That's the one."

"With the mustache?"

"No, no... that's Doctor Frasier. Doctor Preston is clean-shaven."

"Oh, right—the _other_ grey-haired chap. Thank you so much, Mister Mawden." I shook his hand and walked briskly back to the front desk. "Excuse me..." I checked the young woman's name tag. "Margaret... I've got a favor to ask of you."

"Oh? Who are you, then? No badge."

"Forgot it this morning. Just call me Doctor. Now, the thing is, Margaret..."

"Maggie."

"Oh." I refused to be derailed. "The thing is, Maggie, I was here a few minutes ago and Tracy and I were having our usual banter, and in the course of things I asked her to throw out some papers for me. Only I was distracted and I gave her the wrong thing. If she found out, she'd never let me hear the end of it. Do you think you could check the bin under the desk and find it for me?"

Maggie pulled out the small garbage receptacle. "What have you lost?"

"A folder—just a simple manilla folder." I licked my lips while I waited.

"Here it is, right on top." She handed my application back to me.

"Thank you so much. You're wonderful. And could you throw these out for me?" I handed her the fliers.

She took them and dropped them into the bin before shoving it back under the desk. "Done." She smiled. "I don't remember seeing you before, Doctor...?"

"I'm still pretty knew. In case you couldn't tell."

"Well, would you like to get coffee after work?"

"Oh... um..." That took me by surprise. I hadn't officially applied yet and my not-quite-coworker was inviting me for a coffee. Supposing I didn't get the job? She'd never see me again and perhaps be left with bitter feelings toward me. "I'd better not. But thank you for the offer."

"Some other time?"

"...I don't think so." I hated to be so negative, but under the circumstances it was the best thing I could do. "It's not that I don't think it would be pleasant..."

"It's okay," she interrupted. "You have a girl friend, right? I get it. Honestly, I'd have been surprised if you didn't."

I blinked. She hadn't just been asking me for coffee. She'd been _asking me for coffee._ I smiled in gratitude that she had reached the right conclusion via my oddly-motivated response. "Yes, I do." _At least... I think I do._ My relationship with Rose seemed too deep to go round calling her my "girl friend." That title seemed cheap on her. But I didn't have time to dwell on it. "Well, thanks again... gotta get this file to Doctor Preston."

I followed my inner ear to the physics department and soon spotted a clean-shaven, grey-haired man bending over a microscope. So far so good; nothing for it. I stepped over to him and cleared my throat.

"Excuse me, Doctor Preston?"

The man straightened and frowned at me, probably due to lack of recognition. "May I help you?"

"I hope so. I've got a bit of a problem."

Preston moved away from his microscope and brushed his hands on his lab coat. "What's the matter?"

"I've just tried to apply for a position here, but your receptionist threw my application in the bin. Luckily I managed to fish it out..."

"Why would she do that?" Preston asked, holding out his hand for the file.

"I'm not sure. But I think maybe she didn't believe my credentials."

"Well, let's see here." Preston flipped the folder open. "Oh. For starters, you've put your title in the name line... and just 'the' in the title line."

"I can explain that. You see, things are done a bit differently in my culture. We don't reveal our birth names. When we graduate university we choose titles to be our legal names. I chose the Doctor."

"That seems highly irregular."

"As British culture seems to us, I assure you."

"You live in London... Peter Tyler. Should I know that name?"

"Pete—you can trust me on this," I supplied, giving a thumbs up.

"Oh yes, the fizzy drink man."

"That's the one. I'm staying at his house until I find my own place."

"I see. Now... you've stated 'wizard' as your highest level of education. That might have put Tracy off."

"I suppose there may be something lost in translation, but where I come from being a 'wizard' at something means that you can not be educated further in the subject unless the instruction comes from yourself. You may not have perfected the craft, but no one can outdo you in it, and you are yourself expanding the field. I got my wizard in mathematics, I'm proud to say. It was my only wizard though... I suppose I didn't apply myself."

"Hm." It seemed to be getting a bit much for him. "You say your field of study was 'everything.' What do you mean by that? All the standard courses...?"

"No, I mean literally everything. I was required to learn every field of study in existence. If you don't believe me, ask me a question. Go on, ask me anything."

Looking very skeptical, Preston queried, "What are the terms for the fastest and slowest particle motion?"

"This being the twenty-first century still, right? That would be the speed of light and absolute zero. Though of course absolute zero has never been observed by humans in its true form, and one day you'll discover that some things _can_ travel faster than light. Care to ask me another?"

"What was Beethoven's last symphony?"

"Number Nine in D Minor, naturally, informally called 'Choral.' Completed in 1824. And that really wasn't a fair question, considering I was never made to study music from outside my homeland—I only know about it because of my own extra-curricular study. Another?"

"When A is greater than B and B is greater than C, A is also greater than C. What does this statement illustrate?"

"A transitive relation. Too easy."

Preston's skepticism had been replaced by a look of respect. "Very well, I'll accept for now that you are well-educated and well-rounded." He looked back down at the folder. "Under last occupation you listed 'soldier.' Can you tell me about that?"

"Not really, no. It was all rather hush-hush."

"Can you tell me what branch of military you served under?"

"Er... that's also under wraps."

"How am I to know you're not making it up, then?"

"You can't, I'm afraid. Maybe putting 'soldier' down was a wrong move, but it seemed less pretentious than 'defender of reality.'"

"Doctor... Doctor. I hate to say this, but you sound just a bit delusional."

"Only a bit?" I raised one eyebrow. I had the sinking feeling that job hunting was one of those random things I was not good at.

"Not that you'd be the first eccentric person this institution hired, but... you really are on shaky ground here. I mean, have you got identification? Have you got any references we can contact? Do you have similar job experience?"

"Not anymore... the Tylers... and probably," I listed.

Preston gave me a scrutinizing look. "All right, listen. Tomorrow I'm proctoring a test for some prospective employees. It's at ten a.m. in the conference room. If you score in the top three, I'll give you a serious interview. It's not a guarantee, but it's a chance. What do you say?"

"I say that a chance is far better than none."

"Good. The test will cover many different aspects of science, mathematics, physics and astronomy."

I tightened my hands into fists to avoid some wilder display of glee. So many of my favorite subjects all at once. "I'm pleased to hear it," I understated. "Tomorrow at ten, then." I held out my hand and he shook it.

"It's been interesting meeting you, Doctor."

"And you, sir."

"Oh, and one more thing. Only our top consulting engineers get away with murder around here—wear a suit next time you come."

I smiled. "I can do that."

* * *

I met Pete for lunch and he gave me cab fare so I could get home and see Rose. She was already back from Torchwood when I arrived.

"How was the search?" she asked me.

"Good. I've got a... a thing tomorrow."

"What, an interview?"

"No. A... pre-interview... thing."

Rose blinked. "Better than nothing," she said at last. "Who with?"

"Icsos."

"Oh, that's nice," said Jackie. "They're a good company. Really big. They get good grants."

"They wanted to put a statue of Gandhi on the Moon," Rose said disdainfully.

"Oh, that was just some old fuss-budget's wife or something," Jackie replied. "They didn't go through with it. Did you have lunch, Doctor?"

"Yes; I ate with Pete. How's Tony?"

"Due to wake up from his nap anytime. We just finished lunch, so..."

Something about the quiet house came to my attention suddenly. "You know... last time I was here, Pete had a lot more staff."

"A lot of them were just there for the party," Rose told me. "Some were killed by the cybermen. And then after Mum and I came here to stay, he let most of the others go. Just got a groundskeeper now, and a maid comes once a week to clean house. Some nights she comes over to cook dinner."

"That must be nice for you," I told Jackie.

"Oh, it is. Definitely. Leaves me with just Tony and the laundry to keep up with." She looked toward the kitchen window. "It's a lovely day. You two should go outside."

_Ah yes... Rose and I are supposed to take a walk and have a chat._ I stiffened my resolve. "That might be nice," I said, trying to sound pleasant. "Do you want to?"

"Sure... I'll get my jacket."

_That wasn't so hard... but then again, that really was the easy part, wasn't it?_ I looked to Jackie and mentally clung to her look of encouragement.

* * *

_Emotional cliff-hanger. :p This was a nice long one. Hope you enjoyed it. Please take a moment or two to give some feedback.  
_


	4. Unofficial

_I got excited and wrote more. Sue me. :p Thanks for the reviews so far; please let me know what you think of this chapter._

* * *

This New Life

Chapter Four: Unofficial

* * *

The front lawn was a luxurious carpet of deep green grass. The groundskeeper did his work well. It was warm enough in the sun that I didn't need my jacket, and Rose kept hers open. We walked arm in arm.

"In the summer we might have some people over for games on this lawn," Rose said. "Do you play croquet?"

A great fan of Alice In Wonderland, I replied, "Why yes, your majesty, I do. Better at cricket, though."

"I'm sure you could get a cricket game together. I'm not particularly good at either, but I think croquet's a little safer."

"After facing down daleks, you're afraid of a little cricket ball?"

She smiled and held my arm tighter.

In back of the house, Pete had put up a little play area for Tony. So far, the sandbox and child-safe swing were probably all he was big enough for, but he would grow into the rest quickly.

"Whatever became of that little Yorkshire terrier?" I asked.

"Oh, she hasn't been seen since the cybermen. Just as well. Only room for one Rose here. Though Mum has suggested getting another small dog or a cat. What do you think?"

"Not really fond of either," I admitted. "But I think I'd rather the dog. But not another Yorkie. Something with a little more..."

"Brain?" Rose suggested.

"Yeah." We laughed. "So, how much land is connected to the estate?"

"Just a little strip of woods before you come to a stream. I'll show you."

We crossed the cleared land and entered the wooded area. It didn't take us long to come to the stream. It was about twenty feet across and flowing quickly.

"It's wide now," said Rose, "but in mid-summer it's just a trickle."

I stooped by the water and dipped my fingers in. "Cold." I was feeling chilly now that we were in the shade.

"Yeah. By the time it's warm enough for wading, there's not much left to wade in."

I stood up again and put my arm around Rose, leeching a little warmth from her. She put her arm around my waist.

"I got you some things on the way home. Toothbrush, mint tooth paste and a set of pajamas. And some shampoo."

"Oh. Thank you. I didn't think of it when I was in town."

"We ought to get you a dressing gown, too. And a new overcoat. If you still like them, that is."

"Um... yes. I'd like that. It's funny all the little things you take for granted. You don't realize how much you need something. And then it's gone, and suddenly you remember everything you don't have."

"I know. That's how it was for Mum and me when we first got here. It'll get better though."

"I just keep thinking I should have grabbed a few things before I left the Tardis, or even one thing. An old sonic screwdriver at least... I've got some spare parts in there from old models..."

"Could you build one?"

"Never tried building from scratch before. The trouble would be the core—it's a lithium type that humans won't know about for some three thousand years, yet."

"Well, in the old universe, maybe. We don't have the Tardis, but we can still rewrite history."

I considered that. "We could... if we had the right materials and equipment."

"What about the psychic paper? Could you make that?"

"No... it's got to be infused with fibers from a certain plant that won't be discovered by humans for a long, long time... even longer before they figure out any uses for it besides as a recreational drug. Humans are sort of slow that way. It comes from a planet a long, long way from here."

"Well... We'll figure something out."

"Rose?" I pulled back a little so I could look at her face. It made me feel a little vulnerable, but I needed to see her eyes. "I want to show you something. But it will require a lot of trust on your part."

"Okay." She looked a little uncertain, but she had answered immediately.

"I want to show you my mind, but in order to do that, I've got to come into yours for a moment. What do you think? Is that all right?" When she hesitated, I went on, "If there's anything you don't want me to see, you can just picture a door and close it."

"Okay... we can try it."

The psychic link was an old trick used by Timelords to combine their mind power on a specific task or problem. Humans don't understand or control the workings of their own minds well enough to form a strong, specific link, so it is up to the Timelord to forge into the mind in its entirety and search for what is needed. I placed my hands at the sides of Rose's face, partly to soothe her and partly to solidify our connection. I laid my forehead against hers and closed my eyes.

She gave a little gasp when I first went in. I rubbed her cheek with my thumb reassuringly.

"I know it's a bit weird," I said softly. "You okay?"

"Yeah..."

I caught a glimpse of Mickey's face, and then a door suddenly slammed between us.

"Sorry," she said.

"That's all right. It takes getting used to. Now, come into my mind."

"How do I do that?"

"Just follow." I mentally eased away from her, and I could feel her following. Reinette had figured this out on her own... of course, she'd been very self-confident, and not worried about the insecurity of being in a strange universe with the man she wasn't quite sure was the one she'd always loved. Still, Rose managed to follow through, and then she gasped again. "All right?"

"Yeah... it's just so... big."

"It's bigger on the inside," I couldn't help saying.

"Yeah. It really is."

Before she could wander off and get lost, I started guiding her back to my near-regeneration. I showed her how I'd felt waking up in a brand new body, and how I'd saved the Tardis and Donna from being destroyed. I showed her how I'd come to the conclusion that immediate action against the daleks was the best way to protect all the peoples of the universe.

"How you doing?"

"Okay."

Next I showed her our parting at Bad Wolf Bay, my feelings at being renounced and left behind. The love I felt for Rose, and how desperately I needed her. I could hear her breathing getting heavy. Then she pulled out and wrapped her arms around me tight.

"Sorry, was there more?"

"It can wait." I stroked her hair and kissed the top of her head. "Does this help?"

She sniffed. "Yeah... it'll take a while to process. But yeah." She kissed me just above the neckline of my shirt and pressed her face against my shoulder.

I turned very slowly back and forth, rocking her. "I feel a bit lost, but it's not because of you. I'm in a quiet place. There's a stream there, like this one." I could feel her relaxing under my quiet words. "There's a great, strong tree by that stream. Its roots go deep under the stream, and some of them poke up into it, bathing and drinking. I was in that stream, somewhere up above, far away and a long time ago. I let something leak into the water that didn't belong there. Now the tree is tasting what I put in the water so far upstream. I know it won't kill the tree. I don't really mind it being in the water. But it's made the tree different. And now I'm not allowed in the stream anymore. So I'm leaning on the tree, waiting for its roots to clean the water and make it clear again."

I waited, wondering if she understood me, or if she thought I was just talking nonsense.

Then she gave me a squeeze and kissed my face and whispered "I love you."

My heart ached and I felt like forcing the words out again would be like bursting a blood vessel. But it needed to be done. "I love you, Rose. So, so much." I felt hot then, in spite of the shade. Self-conscious. But good, too. I was glad I'd said the words, and it seemed to have been a tiny bit easier than the last time.

She squeezed me tighter and I squeezed back. She was all I wanted in the whole universe. In any universe. All I needed. She kissed my mouth and ran her fingers through my hair. I felt a tingle run through my frame, and a white-hot little echo of memory tried to surface. I broke the kiss.

"Is something wrong?"

"No..." I knew what that memory was that was trying to surface. I'd become just ever-so-slightly aroused, and it was nearly enough to bring my first wife up before my eyes. I didn't want to think about her right now, all the loss and pain. But it was sort of bitter-sweetly encouraging to realize that I _could_ remember her if I wanted to, and that I could feel this way again after so long. "Nothing's wrong. You just surprised me."

"Good surprise? Bad surprise?"

"Good... I think. Not bad. Just... surprised."

She put her head on my shoulder again. "You look good in that shirt."

"View's not bad from here, either," I said with a smile.

"I think we're gonna be okay, Doctor."

I closed my eyes and breathed her in. "You're not about to propose to me, are you? Only I had this little pet fantasy of proposing to you myself."

She giggled. "All right then, but don't wait too long."

"I haven't asked your dad yet. And I'd like to have the ring first. What sort of ring do you fancy?"

"Surprise me. Make it something dazzling. And Dad'll say yes. You know he will. It's really Mum who deserves to be asked, seeing as she raised me. But I don't think she'll give you any trouble either. I was a little nervous about her, but she seems to be okay with us, doesn't she?"

"She does. I thought the same thing." I moved back and held both Rose's hands. "So, it's not official yet, but don't go getting yourself engaged to anyone else. Consider yourself spoken-for."

Rose assumed a mock-solemn expression. "Yes, sir." Then she smiled again. "I won't tell her yet, but Mum's gonna scream when I do. Right out loud, wherever we are. I'd better tell her sometime when Tony's not sleeping."

We went back out into the sunlight. Everything smelled fresh and cheerful. _I'm really going to marry Rose Tyler. She'll be my wife. We'll live together and be happy._ Walking beside me, with her arm in mine, Rose kept looking straight ahead, a smile on her face. She didn't see the tears in my eyes. They dried before we got back to the house.

When we got inside, Jackie had Tony up. She caught my eye and I couldn't help smiling. When she smiled in return, mine turned into a grin. I could really let myself be happy and not worry. That was a feeling I hadn't had for so long I couldn't remember the last time.

* * *

At ten a.m. sharp, I was seated at a long conference table with a several-page test in front of me. I'd given a cheeky wink in response to Tracy's gawking when I asked where the conference room was at the front desk. That felt good.

There was a short multiple-choice section to be answered on a scan sheet, and I flew through that. The process of elimination was so simple. So much for astronomy. I could have written that part of the test. In my sleep. With one hand tied behind my back. Though how I'd get to sleep under those circumstances, I can't imagine.

Physics was next, and I bit into it with relish. Then I came to a question that confused me. "In keeping with the theory E=ML^2..." I blinked. _ML? Where does L come into it?_ I glanced around the table and saw that most of the other prospects weren't done with the multiple choice yet. I pushed my chair back and approached Dr. Preston at the front of the room.

"Excuse me, sir."

"Yes?" Preston looked extremely curious.

"I'm not sure I understand this formula." I pointed it out on the test.

"I thought you were familiar with Einstein's theory."

"Is this a misprint then?"

He looked at the sheet again. "No... that's quite correct. E equals ML squared."

"Oh..." _Parallel universe. Most things very much the same, but thousands of tiny, tiny differences that are going to be the death of me if I'm not careful._ "I think I understand. It's probably a matter of translation. Where I come from, we designate the speed of light with the letter C, not L."

"C? Really. C."

"Sorry to have bothered you." I went back to my seat and reread the question, keeping in mind that L was C.

A few questions later, I hit another snag. Perhaps it was a trick question. I started to write "Insufficient data" in the blank, but then I crossed it out and read the question over. No, it wasn't insufficient data; it was _incorrect _data. I went over the question, underlining a word or two, circling and crossing out others. Then I flipped the sheet over to make some calculations on the back and finally entered an answer in the blank. I knew it was a risk, but the perfectionist in me wouldn't let me put down the answer they probably wanted.

The science section took me a while, simply because it's difficult to process the dull writing style of a human scientist. I had to read each paragraph very slowly to be sure I could answer the question accurately. But then it was just maths, and that felt more like something fun you could do for extra credit than a part of the actual test. I loved mathematics. Numbers never lie. You can manipulate them all you like, and they'll still tell you the truth at the end of the day.

Finally, I turned my test over and set my pencil across it. I thought over the questions a bit, and after a few minutes I turned the test back over to glance over my answers, making sure I didn't want to change anything. When I set it down again, I saw Preston looking at me. He beckoned, and I picked up the test and left my seat again.

"Anything wrong, Doctor?"

"No. No, I've finished."

"Are you sure? You know, it's better to take a guess than to leave one blank."

"No blanks." I opened the test and flipped the pages for him. "Finished."

He took the test from me and looked over the pages a little more slowly. "I think that's the fastest anyone's ever completed one of these tests."

"Well..." I shrugged modestly.

"You may go now, if you like. I'll send your results to Pete Tyler's residence."

"Okay. Thank you, sir." We shook hands. I retrieved my suit jacket from my chair and let myself out of the room.

It was another nice day, and I loosened my tie as I stepped out the front doors of Icsos. I had some time to kill before Pete would meet me for lunch again. Jackie had lent me her phone. I got it out and called Rose.

"Hey, you," she said when she picked up. "How's the test?"

"Done. I think I passed. Whether I'm in the top three remains to be seen."

"I'm sure you are. They're just humans. You're half Timelord."

"Thanks for the support. Either way, it's been fun. I was the first to finish."

"Oh, there was this girl I knew in primary school—she always finished first. Always. I hated her."

"Oi, that's not fair. It's not easy being clever."

"She was just so smug about it."

"Was she really, or did she just seem that way because you were jealous?"

"I wasn't... well, maybe I was a bit jealous. It was just frustrating."

"How's things at Torchwood?"

"Mercifully quiet. I'm hoping we won't have a major crisis for a while now. You going home after lunch?"

"If you are."

"Okay, see you then."

"See you."

* * *

Pete was optimistic about my job prospect, in spite of my unorthodox way of applying.

"Sounds to me like you talked to the right people. Even if you're not hired right off, they'll probably keep you in mind. You're a tough one to forget."

"I certainly made an impression," I agreed. I looked covetously at Pete's uneaten chips. Since becoming half human, I found myself having a greater appetite, as well as needing more sleep. "Pete, there's something I want to ask you."

"Oh, this sounds serious. What is it?"

"It's about Rose, sir."

"There's no need to 'sir' me, Doctor. You're practically family."

I smiled. "That's nice of you. I'm glad you see it that way, because it has a direct bearing on what I wanted to ask."

"All right." He waited expectantly.

"I want to marry her."

Silence. Then he said, "Yeah, I sort of figured you did."

"I just want to be sure I have your blessing."

"I'm not about to stop you. Have you asked her yet?"

"Not officially. I wanted to do things properly."

"Well, this is the twenty-first century... I mean, I appreciate your etiquette, but I'm content leaving it completely up to her. If she's happy, I'm happy. Jackie would probably like you to clear it with her, though."

"Yeah. I'll talk to her about it soon as I get a chance. Are you, um... done with your chips?"

Pete smiled and pushed his tray toward me. "Help yourself."

"Thanks."

"Is Rose going to be home early today?"

"Yeah; I phoned her a little bit ago."

Pete pulled a few bills from his pocket. "Here, you'll want to get home then."

I didn't like to, but I took the money. "Soon I'll have an income, and then I can pay for lunch now and then," I said.

He shook his head. "Don't worry about it. I have plenty of money, and I like being able to do things for the people who are important to me. I can't compete with your brains, so let me do this, eh?"

"Well... when you put it like that." I ate up the last of the chips and wiped my oily fingers on a napkin.

"Go on, then," Pete prompted.

"You sure?"

"Yeah. Give my love to Jackie and Tony."

I felt really good on the way home. Pete was happy to let me marry Rose. We had excellent rapport. Being human still felt odd, but it was starting to feel more pleasant.

* * *

Unbeknownst to me, Dr. Preston had called in his colleague, Dr. Frasier, to look at my test.

"C," said Frasier. "Who would call the speed of light 'C'?"

"No idea."

"Where is he from, Wales?"

"No; I think he's been abroad until recently. But that wasn't the only odd thing. He finished the test in about forty minutes. I let him leave right before the others took an intermission."

"Honestly? He completed the whole thing?"

"Every question. And I promise you, there's no way he could have seen the questions beforehand. And since he finished so far ahead of the others, he can't have copied anyone else's answers."

"But it's incredible."

"Wait until you see this... Look at number seven in the physics section."

Frasier found the question. "What? He's written all over the question. What's the answer supposed to be?"

Preston offered the key and Frasier compared the answers and the two versions of the question. "But this is... I think I can almost grasp what he's getting at..."

"Hang on, it gets better." Preston turned the sheet over. "He showed his work."

Frasier stared at the calculations, his eyes running over the numbers and letters and parentheticals until his head started to hurt. "Are these calculations accurate?"

"I haven't been able to test them yet. But if they are, he's the only one to score one hundred percent. It was a bold move, either way."

"Something like this would take me forty minutes, let alone the rest of the test. Who the hell is this man?"

"I don't know, but I have no choice: I have to hire him. Even if he brings absolutely nothing to this company, I can't risk one of our rivals getting him."

* * *

_Please leave a review. You know you love how clever the Doctor is. Tell me. :p  
_


	5. Going Native

_I know this is shorter than the last one, but another section would probably drag it on a bit long and I know you're eager for more. Enjoy.  
_

* * *

This New Life

Chapter Five: Going Native

* * *

I got home ahead of Rose this time. Jackie was giving Tony a bath in the kitchen sink.

"Oh, thank God you're home," Jackie said when she saw me. "I got him all set in here with the baby shampoo and the oil and his little sponge and his toys... and I completely forgot to bring a towel along. Thought I'd have to use a dish towel..."

"No worries," I said, heading out of the kitchen again. "I'll just be a moment." I located a soft bath towel and brought it back to the kitchen.

"Thanks, love. Just set it on the counter."

I put the towel down and watched Tony gleefully slap his hands against the shallow water. "Jackie, I have something to ask you."

"All right." She sponged Tony's back, grinning at him when he giggled. "That tickles, doesn't it?"

"I've already talked to Pete. But I want to be sure that it's all right with you. Would you approve of my asking Rose to marry me?"

Jackie looked up at me. She didn't seem surprised. "If I didn't want you to marry Rose, do you really think I'd have spent all those hours on the road trying to _sleep_ and not coming up with ways to bump you off?"

My eyebrows shot up.

"Of course I approve, you plum. When you gonna ask her?"

"Well... soon. I want to have the ring first."

"Do you want to borrow the money?"

"I'd rather earn it myself."

Jackie nodded. "All right. Well, when you have an estimate of how long that will take you, we can talk about engagement plans."

"...What?"

"Evening's very dramatic, but somehow for you two I think a sunny afternoon would be better..."

"What?"

"Oh, music. I wonder if you could be somewhere with music."

One eyebrow came down and I looked pointedly at her. _"What?"_

"Well, you don't want to just up and pop the question any old time, do ya? You have to do these things right."

"Jackie, I appreciate your wanting to help. Really, I do. It's just... I mean, won't it be enough trouble planning the wedding? Can't we take it easy on the engagement?"

Jackie looked out the window. "Oh, she's home. We'll talk more about it later." She pulled the sink plug and swaddled Tony in the towel. Then she came up to me, stood on tiptoe and kissed my cheek. "Sorry I slapped you."

I blinked. After all this time, she was finally making peace with me about Rose disappearing for a year. "I don't really blame you," I said. "I think even I would slap someone who took her away from me with no good explanation."

"Quite right, too."

I smiled. I was good to go. Now all I needed was the ring.

* * *

"You going to town this morning?" Pete asked me the next day.

I shrugged. "I don't know... I kind of want to hear back from Icsos before I apply anywhere else."

"Now, that's not the way to be proactive," said Jackie. "You want to put in as many applications as possible. You'll get a job sooner that way."

"I'm sure you're right. But I hate wasting a lot of time—not just my own—on the application process when I might not need to."

Rose finished her coffee and hurried to set it in the sink. "I need to get going."

"Sure I can't come with you?" I asked as she came over to kiss me goodbye.

"Perfectly."

We did the synchronized-kisses-beside-the-mouth routine. Conservative enough for her parents' presence, intimate enough to give us the togetherness feeling.

"Okay then. Happy alien chasing, and be safe."

"I will."

Pete's phone rang and he answered it. "Pete Tyler speaking." After a moment, he held out the phone to me. "It's for you."

The others became still and silent while I took the call. It didn't take long, but it still felt strange that no one seemed to have moved at all before I handed Pete's phone back.

"That was Doctor Preston at Icsos. He wants me to come in for an interview."

"That's great," said Rose.

"Better get your suit on, hadn't you?" said Jackie. "I said you should get a brown one—blue is too cold for interviews. Too late now, of course. Hurry up if you're going with Pete."

Just like a mother. I pushed my chair back and went to change.

* * *

Pete wished me luck when he dropped me off. I'd worn the tan shirt and the burnt orange tie with gold embellishments. Nothing too loud, but pleasant, I hoped. I wondered how I had scored on the test. I must have been in the top three, or Preston wouldn't have called. Then again, he hadn't said he would contact me by phone at all—he'd said he would send my results to the house. One way or the other, my answers must have made an impression.

I nodded at Tracy on my way by, and she glared at me. If I got a job here, I'd have to bury the hatchet with her. I really should anyway. She might have been a bit unfair to me, but that was no reason to leave her with something to be annoyed over for the rest of her life.

I found Dr. Preston and he rushed me into his office where he slipped behind his desk.

"Sit down, Doctor."

I pulled the available chair up by the desk and sat across from him. Preston opened a folder and pulled out a sheaf of papers.

"I have your test here; do you have any idea how you scored?"

"Since I'm here, I'm guessing I was in the top three?"

"You were the only one to get all the questions correct. Including number seven in the physics section."

"Ah, good ol' number seven," I said. It was gratifying to hear that my manipulation of the question had not been seen as a wrong answer.

"I spent hours last night following your calculations on that one."

"And?"

"You've revolutionized my thinking on the possibility of anti-gravity and artificial gravity."

"I should think so... this being the twenty-first century."

"And that's the second time you've mentioned the century... as if you sometimes lose track."

"Well... I'm chronically forgetful about certain things. Like where I am and what day it is. I'm getting better, though."

"Where did you say you moved here from?"

"I'm from the Continent," I said, straight-faced. I meant the continent of Wild Endeavor, but he would think I meant Europe.

"Where, exactly?"

"You won't have heard of it. Not even on the map."

"Do you have a driver's license?"

"Never needed one before... Pete drives me, or I use public transport."

"You have no identification whatsoever?"

I thought wistfully of my psychic paper. "No... I lost it."

"That is most unfortunate. Doctor, per company policy, I must see some sort of identification or I cannot hire you. And I want to. You completed that test in forty minutes—it's unheard of. I can't afford to let you go work for someone else."

"All right..." I pondered a moment. "I'll just have to get some ID, then. Can you give me a couple of days?"

"The sooner the better."

I nodded. "I'll do my best." I got up.

"Doctor?"

"Yes?"

"You haven't once asked what positions are open, or what salary you might earn."

_Knew I forgot something._ "Well, I'm not particular about either, so long as there _is_ as position, and there _is_ a salary."

On the way out of the building, I stopped at the front desk.

"Hello," I said, giving Tracy a smile. "You gonna hate me forever?"

"Were you just having a laugh at me the other day?" she asked. "Had you already been hired?"

"You're one to talk. That 'File Thirteen' business. What did you throw out my application for?"

"Wasn't it a joke? I thought it must be that or you were completely stupid. You filled it in with a lot of nonsense!"

"Nonsense to you. I ought to tell the press about this place's discrimination against my culture!"

That brought her up short.

I laughed. "I'm only joking. I don't want to have any enemies here, Tracy. You did what you thought was right at the time, and it's all turned out all right. Pax?"

She studied my face for a moment and then sighed. "Well, all right then."

"Good. I mayn't be back for a few days, so I didn't want to leave you with hard feelings."

"Very considerate."

I wasn't sure if that was sarcasm or not. I let it go.

Once outside, I called Rose.

"Are you busy?" I asked.

"Um... not very," she said. It sounded like I should keep it short.

"It looks like I can get this job, but I need some ID. Do you have a contact that could fake me a driver's license?"

"Oh, we'll do better than that. We'll fake you a birth certificate and you'll get a legitimate driver's license. You have driven a car before, yeah?"

"It's been a _long _time... but yes. Used to drive all the time when I was working with UNIT."

"Good. I'll see about that soon as I get a chance... gotta go now. See you later."

"Bye." I hoped she wasn't in some dangerous situation... I tried not to think about it too much.

I wandered around town familiarizing myself with the buildings near Icsos. The wind picked up, so I buttoned all four buttons on my jacket. As my wander-circle brought me back near Icsos again, I spotted Maggie coming my way with a tray of coffee cups. Her light brown hair was loose in the wind. She looked a bit harried.

"Maggie," I called, jogging toward her.

She looked up in surprise. "Oh, it's you."

I held out my hands. "Let me hold that so you can zip your jacket."

She gave me the tray and followed my advice. "It wasn't blowing like this when I came out," she said. "That's better. Thank you." She tried to take the tray back.

"Oh, let me carry it for you. I'm not doing anything right now. I was wondering: are you the office gofer, or what?"

"Seems like it. Officially, I'm an intern under Mr. Mawden. That puts me at the bottom of the totem pole, so I cover the receptionist's breaks and fetch takeaway."

"Are you in school then?"

"Yes. Trying for my degree in chemical engineering."

"Will you become a paid employee at Icsos when you graduate?"

"I doubt it. I'd want a full-time position, and they won't give me one with so little experience. They're very particular. I suppose I might take part-time and try to work my way up, but it takes such a long time to get anywhere."

We had reached the front doors and stopped.

"Well, here we are," she said. "Thanks for escorting me."

I handed the tray back with a smile. "Looks like we got coffee together after all."

She laughed. "I guess we did. Enjoy your day, Doctor."

"Thanks, I think I will."

* * *

Lunch with Pete and back home again. I had a routine now. _I'm part of the rat race. I've gone native._

Jackie and I took Tony outside. He sat in the grass, not quite sure he liked the feel of it, and chased insects with his uncoordinated fingers.

"This little tyke's going to be my brother-in-law," I said.

Jackie laughed. "Maybe in a couple years he'll have a niece or nephew to play with."

"How unreal is that?"

"Welcome to the modern family, Doctor."

"Do you think Rose wants kids of her own?" I asked. It hadn't occurred to me until just then that she might not.

"I think so... dunno really. We haven't talked about it much. But she's great with Tony. Seems to have the knack... You want them bad, don't you?"

I pulled up some grass. "Suppose I do."

"Oh, bless." Jackie leaned over and gave me a squeeze. "After you've been engaged a couple of days you can ask her about it."

"That wouldn't be... too fast?"

"Well you're not planning on a long engagement, are you? You ought to talk about it before you're married."

"Yeah." I didn't know what I'd do without Jackie. Expert human. To think she'd tried to seduce me when we first met. I grimaced and then chuckled.

"What is it?"

"Nothing, just... the modern family."

Tony began making noise then... something like "woof" without the F on the end. He held up one arm and we could see an ant running along it.

"He's saying 'look,'" Jackie interpreted, leaning forward to brush the ant off Tony's arm. "Oh, isn't he a funny little ant. Bugs are yucky, love. don't pick them up."

"An ordinary little ant like that won't hurt him," I put in.

"Maybe not, but he can't tell the difference right now. I'd rather be safe than sorry."

_Don't get involved,_ I reminded myself. Jackie could raise her child how she liked.

* * *

Rose had a surprise for me when she got home.

"You were born in a little country between France and Belgium. It doesn't really exist, but lots of Torchwood and UNIT operatives come from there if they need a new identity."

"What's it called?"

"Perfugium. You're from the city of Gallifrey."

"Perfugium?" It was odd how parallel universes weren't quite parallel. "I have a short history with a place by that name, back in the other universe."

"You were named Docteur Jean LeFevre, but when you moved here you Anglicized it to Doctor John Smith. 'Docteur' being a traditional family name, of course." She handed me my birth certificate, stamped by the Perfugium Social Security office, and an immigration card and legal change of name certificate.

"You did all this in one afternoon?"

"I told them to rush it. Needed it for an operative as soon as possible. Now we need to go out and see if you remember how to drive."

"Let it wait until tomorrow," said Jackie. "Dinner's almost ready."

"I helped," I added.

"Uh-oh," said Rose. Then she laughed. "Is it something foreign?"

"Don't be silly," said Jackie. "It's just steak. The Doctor helped mix up the sauce and he put the rolls in the oven and made the salad. All that's left is setting the table. I think we should eat in the dining room tonight."

"Is that a hint for me to pitch in?"

"Come on, we'll set the table together," I said. I got out the glasses first because I remembered where they were. Rose got the plates. It wasn't hard to locate the flatware, and Rose brought out the napkins.

We hadn't eaten in the dining room since my arrival. When Pete got home, Jackie fed Tony in the kitchen while the rest of us put the food on the dining room table. Then Tony went in his playpen while we sat down to supper.

"Everyone have a good day?" asked Pete.

"Lovely," said Jackie. I nodded in agreement.

"Not bad," Rose decided. "No major injuries... all around, pretty good."

"How about you?" asked Jackie. "Business holding steady?"

"Yeah, really good," Pete answered. "I'm going to work from home the next couple of days. So, Rose, if you need any help with Torchwood, you let me know."

"No, you leave Torchwood to me. I'm done having friends and family in there. Spend too much time worrying about 'em."

I felt a little out of place. The few times I'd sat down to a family meal in the past, it had been a holiday or a hurried breakfast... This felt like it was meant to be more formal, but the others were chatting away like normal.

"Doctor, do you need anything?" Jackie inquired.

I looked around. "I'll have the salad, if you don't mind." She passed it to me and I thanked her.

"You're not talking. Anything wrong?"

"No... just..." I glanced at the others. "Feel out of my depth, I suppose."

I felt Rose's hand on my knee under the table. "What is it?" she asked.

"Culture shock. It'll pass."

"Oh, but that's interesting," Jackie said. "How are meals done where you're from?"

I reached my left hand down and put it over Rose's. "Well... when a family eats together, the patron and matron of the household might talk, but the others don't speak unless they're spoken to. The food gets passed round pretty often so no one has to ask for anything."

"That sounds pretty uptight," Rose commented.

"It'd never work round here," Pete said with a grin. "Rose likes to talk too much."

"Oh, thanks," Rose snapped, but she smiled.

I squeezed her hand.

"Well, you don't have to keep silent here," said Jackie. "You go ahead and talk if you want to."

"I don't feel oppressed by my culture," I said quickly. "Just a bit... overwhelmed by yours."

"You'll adjust," said Rose. She rubbed her thumb over my fingers.

I wasn't sure I wanted to adjust. I was still half Timelord. My own memories were all I had left of my old life, my culture, my heritage... All the things I'd wanted to run away from in the beginning. "Stuffy old elders," I could almost hear the Master saying. More bittersweet memories. I'd never worry about meeting the Master again. It seemed the daleks didn't exist here either. Was there a Gallifrey? Even if there were, I couldn't hope to reach it. No Tardis.

I squeezed Rose's hand again to keep myself anchored. This was home now. She was home. I had to build a new life. It would be all right, as long as I had her.

* * *

_Thanks for all the comments... I would like to point out the nice helpful things mericat and MidnightForever17 and others have said. To be honest, "good job" and "write more" don't inspire me to write more at all. Hearing about your favorite parts and which characters you like and what you're wondering about... that gets me excited. So thanks for taking time, and if you want to encourage me to write more, that's how. *wink*_


	6. A Reason to Live

_Lots of reviews right away. ^^ Makes me happy._

_An anonymous reviewer suggested that I'm advancing the romance too quickly. To that I say, the romance has been there all along. The Doctor knows he can't regenerate and this is his only life now, so he's trying not to hold back like he has before. I tried to bring that out in this chapter, so I hope it will seem more in character and not like it's moving too quickly.  
_

* * *

This New Life

Chapter Six: A Reason to Live

* * *

I walked Rose out to Jackie's car before she left for Torchwood the next morning.

"I'll make it a short day if I can," Rose said. "Want to see your driving."

"There's another thing you can do if you have time," I said. "I did complete a medical degree on Earth, and I'd like to have it documented."

"Really? Where did you get it?"

"Glasgow. Studied under Joseph Lister in 1888."

"Well, that won't do! I'll have to find someone a little more contemporary to say you got it from. You might want to brush up on twenty-first century medicine too. Did you know—they don't bleed people anymore."

I rolled my eyes. "I know that." I pulled her close to forestall any more teasing.

"Shall I say you got it in 1988?"

"That long ago?"

"I made you forty on your birth certificate."

"Forty?" I looked at my reflection in the window of the car. "Do I look like a forty-year-old human?"

"I dunno. A well-preserved one. I didn't want to make you too young. You have so much experience."

"How old are you? If I'm allowed to know."

"Just turned twenty-three in March."

"That makes you awfully young for me, doesn't it?"

"Forty's better than nine hundred, innit?"

"Nine hundred-four. Yeah. S'pose it is. So, this Perfugium... it's supposed to be a French-speaking country, right? Is it too late to make me Scottish?" I was only half-joking. Maybe twenty-five percent joking. My Scottish accent was much better than my French.

She pressed her mouth to mine and ran her hands through my hair. She gave me a quizzical look after. "Your hair... it's not standing up so much, is it?"

"No. Since my first shower in this body it's been... getting limper. Suppose it's just going to be ordinary human hair now."

She shook her head. "Oh, no. No, I'm not havin' that. I'll pick up some product on the way home."

"Really?" I hadn't been aware that she was so attached to my wild hair.

She kissed me again. "All right, I need to go. Behave yourself."

"And you. Be safe."

* * *

The day crawled by. The most exciting thing that happened before Rose got home was that I helped Jackie move some flowers from their little pots in the windows out into a flower bed at one side of the house. The groundskeeper tended most of the plants, but that area was reserved for Jackie's use alone.

"I thought about planting some vegetables," she told me, "but I'd probably forget about them until everything was gone off. Doesn't matter so much with flowers."

I patted the moist earth down around a pansy flower that was just starting to bud and reflected how comfortable it was doing this sort of work in bluejeans. Why had I always worn a suit before? _Never stopped anywhere long enough to garden before,_ my common sense pointed out. But still, working on the Tardis, getting into really dirty circumstances, standing up to monsters... bluejeans might have come in handy. Sturdier pockets, too.

"Are you running out of shirts?" Jackie asked, looking at my grey Tintin tee. "We can put your things in the next wash if you like. I'm doing some darks next, so it'll be all right if the new things bleed a little."

Human laundry. Whites and colors. Boring, normal, everyday things that were so new and foreign to me. "Sure. I'll get them together when we go inside."

So we did the laundry next. Jackie showed me how to measure the soap and choose a setting. Then we had a cup of tea while the washer ran. Then we moved the laundry to the dryer. She showed me how to empty the lint trap. Then after we started the dryer, Tony woke up wanting his second feeding.

That was about it. Gardening, laundry and Tony. It was interesting to me, and I knew I needed to learn about these things, but I found myself constantly looking at the clock. I couldn't wait for Rose to get home. It was so frustrating not being able to time travel. Not being able to be with her.

Finally, she was back. As soon as she got inside, she shoved a paper at me.

"Here you are: your diploma. University of Glasgow, college of medicine."

I looked the very official-looking paper over. "This is brilliant. You're brilliant."

"And I've got your form for the DVLA; that'll get you your provisional driving license. So let's get out to the car. Need to make sure you can still do this. Traffic laws are bound to be different than you remember, too. Oh, and there's this."

She handed me a small jar of hair product for men. It said it was good for making "surfer spikes." If that didn't do the trick, nothing would.

Rose drove the car first, taking me around some roads that weren't too busy and explaining proper conduct as we went. There were an awful lot of rules. Operating the machine was the least of my worries. Road etiquette was serious stuff.

After lunch we went back out and she let me get behind the wheel. Jackie's car was certainly different from my old "Bessie." Still, the main principles were the same, so I soon got the hang of it. We stayed close to the estate to avoid my getting caught driving without a license.

"Once your provisional license comes, I'll let you try driving in town," Rose told me.

"So many cars," I mused. "The city's just full of them. It's no wonder there's so many rules for driving. Otherwise people would just be smashing into one another all the time."

"Exactly. That's why I want you to have a proper license. You need to learn this stuff or they'll eat you alive."

Spotting a beautiful old tree nearby, I turned us off onto a dirt road and drove the car onto the grass close to it. "Time for a break," I said.

We got out and walked in the shade of the tree. It wasn't too impressively tall, but its immense branches provided a very large shadow.

"Is this a weeping willow?" I asked.

"Yeah. This property's owned by some rich someone-or-other in town," Rose told me. "Don't think he comes out here ever, but he has someone keep it from going to forest. Dad's said he wouldn't mind owning this place, since it's good land close to our house, but the owner won't talk about selling."

"Can't really blame him." I ran my fingers over the bark of the tree. I wondered how old it was. I knew that not many of this kind lived to a hundred years; it certainly wasn't anywhere near as old as I was. Still, I grew quiet for a moment with my hand pressed against the trunk, listening for the old soul to tell me something.

I was a little distracted when Rose put her hand next to mine on the tree. I saw her eyes looking up at me with a question. That was one of those moments when she seemed like a child to me. Not so much my lover as the wondering little human that was thirsty for information.

"Can you hear it?" I asked.

She shook her head.

"This is a very proud tree," I told her. "But lonely as well. She's seen a lot of years and she doesn't think she'll see many more. She's stood here alone for most of her life, and now she rather wishes she had a few children to leave her legacy to."

"What does it sound like?"

"Like the slow trickle of water and the rush of wind through a valley."

"I wish I could hear it."

"Here..." I reached for her with my free hand and pulled her gently toward me. She was able to come into my mind with less guidance this time. We listened together for a while.

"Is it sentient?" she asked.

"Well... not as such. I mean sort of. It's aware of its roots and leaves, and it knows that we're here, and there is something rather wistful about it. But it feels no pain when it's injured, it does not teach or learn, it has no concept of selfishness or sacrifice. It desires to live, but it will not struggle against death. You've met trees thousands of years in the future that were sentient... that was after a lot of development. This willow here is just a note in the beginning of a beautiful genesis."

"It's sort of..." Rose frowned, searching for words. "It makes me think it's wrong to kill any living thing, plant or animal. Because one day, their great-great-grandchildren might develop into our equals. Or our betters, even."

I was proud of her insight. I dropped my attention from the tree and led Rose away from it. "You can't think like that, though. I mean, you have to eat, don't you? Even vegetarians kill and eat living things. Throughout human history, there's always some carbon-based life form which is socially acceptable to eat, always something that hasn't developed independent thought and free will and a sense of ethics. If certain plants and animals are not consumed by others, the whole system will fall apart. In other words, use trees for houses and furniture and food and shade and whatever else... just keep an eye out to be sure you're not causing them pain, physical or emotional. Once they can feel those things, then you start getting into a moral mess."

"How can you tell when they've developed that far?"

"When they start whispering about you as you walk by... when they start protesting being cut down. When they begin reaching out to one another and growing fruit at times opportune only to them and not to anyone trying to cultivate them... you learn to notice these signs if you're around at a pivotal time. Which this one isn't," I added. "It'll be a several millennia yet before Earth trees get that far."

"Still... it's a bit spooky."

We stood looking up at the tree together for a minute or two, each with one arm around the other. A little breeze came through and ruffled the long trailing branches.

"You know, I was thinking maybe I'd have to help you with everything now... like I'd be leading you round," Rose confided. "But you still know more about my own planet than I do."

I leaned my head against hers. "I don't know about that... I'm sure you know the people better, much as I try. Facts only get you so far."

We were silent again for a little while. Then she said, "Can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"Why didn't you say 'I love you' out loud at Bad Wolf Bay?"

I'd been expecting that question. I thought that maybe, since she'd waited this long, she might have decided not to ask it after all. But since she was, it meant that she'd been thinking about it a lot. I had to be very careful how I answered, or it might set our relationship right back where we started.

While I hesitated, she added, "And why wouldn't the other Doctor say it at all?"

Lovely... she'd just raised the stakes. "We had our reasons... probably the same reasons, since we're the same person."

"And those are?"

I licked my lips. "Well, first of all you have to understand that stating one's feelings isn't a very Timelord thing to do. I know how important it is to humans, and it's becoming more important to me. But it doesn't come naturally."

"Okay..."

"So, trying to get used to that... and then the fact that your mum and Donna were there, watching... It was an intimate moment, and I wanted some privacy." I waited, wondering if that was enough. But I knew she wasn't stupid. Even if she didn't say anything more, she'd know that wasn't all. It was probably better to get it all out of the way at once.

"But then... the other Doctor... does that mean he loves me too, the same as you?"

And there it was. She was too clever. I wanted to answer; I knew I should. But my voice refused to cooperate.

"When did you first love me?"

"How do you mean?"

"At all. As a friend—anything."

"Charles Dickens. In that basement, when we thought we were gonna die... you were my friend then, and you suddenly became very dear to me. If I could have died to save you then, I would have."

"That's when it was for me, too... but I don't think I'd have died for you. Sorry."

I smiled. "That's all right. You had a lot more to live for at that point."

"It got stronger when we were in Utah... when you didn't kill the dalek. You scared me for a minute there, but then you changed your mind. I was so relieved..."

Internally, I bristled a little. Killing daleks; not killing daleks. Had I scared Rose when I wiped them out this last time? Was she still scared of me? "Well, you were right. It was changing. That was because of you. You changed me too, and I'm glad. I'm glad I didn't kill it." I felt a little warm. I was getting defensive. I took a couple of long, slow breaths to calm myself.

"When did you first love me as more than a friend?"

"There was something in between the friend stage and the... the stage where I started feeling awkwardly romantic toward you."

She made a tiny sound and nestled her face against my neck. I knew she was smiling.

"I think that started after we went back and met your dad. When all that was sorted, then I knew I wanted to keep you around. Like... I wouldn't be whole without you anymore. I hadn't felt whole for a long time, but with you, I finally did. I didn't want to lose that for anything. Did you have something like that too?"

She nodded. "After everything worked out the way I asked, even after I'd messed it up at the beginning... whatever happened after that, I wanted to share it with you. You were the best friend I'd ever had."

I kissed the top of her head and gave her squeeze. _We're going to be fine,_ I told myself. _I can get through this. _"It was the same with Bad Wolf, but stronger. I wouldn't just give my life for you; I'd entrust you with the Tardis and send you away from me—the hardest decision I'd had to make since the Time War. I wanted you with me almost more than anything, but not more than I wanted to keep you safe."

"And that was when I knew I didn't want to be safe if you weren't," Rose said quietly. "If you were gonna die, I wanted to be with you. To hold your hand like I did for my dad. To die with you, if I had to. I couldn't let you do it alone. I'd leave Mum and Mickey... I just had to be with you."

"And was it a romantic love then?"

"I dunno... it didn't really matter."

"Precisely," I agreed. "That's the in between... so much more than a friend, but with no strings attached. And I still love you that way, but there's more, too. Because now I dare to love you in every way. I know I've got this one life, this one chance—I can't afford to hold anything back anymore."

"How long have you been holding back?"

"I think... since we got off that impossible planet orbiting the black hole. "You were more important than anything. Than my people, than my Tardis, than my own memories... you were all I wanted."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I..." I hesitated again. "Because I was afraid," I admitted at last. "It's unorthodox to fall in love with a human, but I could have gotten past that. What I was really afraid of was losing you. I'm not meant to keep my companions very long. They usually find someone else, or they take up some cause, or they forget me. But you seemed ready to stay with me forever, and that made me so afraid of losing you. It meant that if and when I did, it wouldn't be your choice. It would be something terrible. And then that creature predicted the one thing I was most afraid of."

"It said I would die in battle. You told me not to listen to it."

"I didn't want it to be true. I didn't want you to worry. I certainly did enough worrying for both of us."

"But then it turned out that I only died on paper... came to live here instead. Do you think that was what Dalek Caan was talking about, too? When he said one of us would die... did he mean I'd come back to this universe again, forever this time?"

_No... _I didn't think that was it. I was pretty sure I knew which "child" I had lost, and I didn't like thinking about how miserable my other self must be feeling about it right about now. "I don't know," I said. After all, I couldn't be certain. And I didn't want Rose worrying about Donna.

"So, you've loved me all this time," Rose said slowly. "Since we left Krop Tor, but you were afraid to tell me?"

"Yeah... at least since then. That was when we thought we might be stranded in time. You suggested we might live together, and it sort of took me by surprise how perfect that sounded—under the circumstances, I mean. If I had to be stuck, I wanted to be stuck with you. And if it came to that, I probably would have asked you to marry me before we set up house."

"Really? You were thinking about marrying me back then?"

"Not quite. I refused to let my mind go there before we were sure we couldn't get the Tardis back. But if I had, then... yeah. I'm sure I would have."

"Then, when we had to say goodbye..."

"I was going to tell you I loved you. I wasn't even sure it was the right thing to do, since I was sure we could never be together. I didn't want to give you that extra regret. And I was quite sure you knew how I felt already..."

"That it didn't need saying?"

"Right. Now that I'm half human... I think it does need to be said sometimes. Not to make it true, but to remind us both that we're free now. No more worrying about being parted. No more holding back."

"But that means he did love me. Just as much as you do now. He still loves me, wherever he is now. Isn't that right?"

Her voice was starting to sound anxious and and I ached to reassure her. I wanted to tell her that my other self was fine, that he had Donna, that he didn't need anyone else, that he would heal, that he would go on and be fantastic... but I had to tell her the truth. If I wanted to marry Rose, I couldn't lie to her—not even to shield her. "That's right."

She clung to me for a while. I rubbed her shoulder and waited for her to be able to take more. I knew we were far from done.

"Then why did he leave? If he felt this way, all those things you told me... how could he leave me here?"

"Because there are two of me and only one of you. He couldn't let me have the Tardis, so he gave me you."

"And you just let him. You knew it was killing him, and you let him go."

"It was the only way. I could never make that decision for him, but he understood that we couldn't all three live in the Tardis. He'd never trust me, and neither of us could ever marry you—it wouldn't be fair. We'd just rattle on untrusting and awkward through the universe until something took you away from us, and then we'd blame each other and I'd end up committing suicide and living to tell about it... or double suicide... or double homicide, depending on how you look at it."

She was crying now. I'd made her cry again.

"Rose..." I cuddled her against me and kissed her temple and tried to ward off tears of my own. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. The last thing I want to do is upset you. I need you to understand... he chose the best thing for his universe, and for ours. And for you and me."

"But not for himself," she said in a broken voice. "Is he going to be sad forever?"

"No."

"You're just saying that."

"No, I'm not. I've... he's lost so many people before, and it's hard. Some of them were so, so dear. Sometimes he wanted so badly to go back in time and bring them back, but he knew he couldn't. He's had his heart broken more than once... maybe that's why Timelords have two." If Rose rejected me now, I supposed I might really "die of a broken heart" as people say, since I had only one now. "But he can regenerate. He won't forget you, but he'll have a new personality, a new perspective... a new everything. He'll still love you, but it won't hurt so much. And in time he'll be able to tuck you away, sleeping safely in his memories where he can draw you out from time to time, just the good times. He'll learn to protect himself. And, I hope, he may find someone else to be with. They won't be like you. No one could ever be like you, any more than..." I had to leave off for a moment. A tear spilled over and I didn't trust my voice.

She rubbed my back and waited out my silence as I had waited for her.

"Any more than I could replace anyone that I've lost," I said at last. It wasn't what I had been going to say. But on top of everything else, I couldn't talk about my wife. Rose had so much to think about already. We would discuss my previous marriage eventually... now wasn't the time. "But it will be someone wonderful that he'll love. Someone that will make him feel alive again. We can't know anything for certain, but I believe that's what he'll do. Because I'm him... I know he'll be thinking about what you want for him. He wants you to have happiness here, and you can do that best if you can think of him as content. If you can see him with purpose, going on, standing with countless peoples throughout the universe, making new friends—great friends—and every day having a new reason to live. A new reason to love life. And one of those reasons for him will be a similar belief in us: that we're making a new life together. That we're going to be safe and happy, forever."

She was very still now, her head against my chest, just listening to the sound of my voice resonating through my one-hearted chest cavity. It was a long time before she finally said something. "It wasn't just being nervous, or being Timelord... you were sparing his feelings."

I felt a little pang of dread, but also a sense of relief that she finally understood. "I didn't want to make him hear his own voice saying those words... saying what he'd always felt and could never say."

Then there was more silence. After a while, there was a little more of the gentle caressing that really ought to happen more between friends but generally doesn't because it makes friends afraid that the action will be misunderstood... Rose and I were on a different plane now. We both understood that we were so much more than friends, but that this touch was purely meant for comfort. We had both lost something so precious, and gained something so wonderful, and it was too much to talk about anymore. We stood under the willow and shared an intimacy of physical and mental closeness that cannot be put into words. I suppose it was another one of those unexpected family-ish moments for me. Not romantic, but so much deeper than "friendly."

"We're going to be late for dinner," Rose said at last. "And Mum's having the maid in to cook tonight. We should go."

"Okay." We didn't let go of each other until we reached the car and I opened the passenger door for her. When I got into the driver's seat, Rose took my left hand and held it until we got home.

* * *

_sakvowgnuwoxklm... Yeah. Lots of wordless feelings. xD I hope I didn't overdo it. Eh, who cares, it's fanfic. lol  
_


	7. Settling In

_Thanks for the comments as always._

* * *

This New Life

Chapter Seven: Settling In

* * *

Dr. Preston seemed genuinely pleased to see me when I was finally back in his office again.

"I was afraid I'd seen the last of you," he admitted. "Were you able to replace your identification?"

"Will a provisional driving license and a birth certificate do?" I asked, holding the items out to him.

Preston scrutinized them under his desk lamp. Torchwood's attention to detail must have done the trick; he noticed nothing fishy about them. "Well, now that I have these, I can fill in a few of the blanks in your application. Do you have a phone, Doctor?"

"Not yet, but it should come soon. I'll give you the number as soon as I'm able."

"All right." He made a couple of notes. "I'll have a little on-the-job training for you—you were interested in working in the physics department, weren't you?"

"Certainly."

"Good. Honestly, I think you could work in any of our departments here, but I'd like to see what you can do in mine."

_In other words, keep an eye on me yourself,_ I interpreted. That was all right with me, though. Preston seemed to be a patient, reasonable man, and I was interested in knowing him better.

"So, let's get you down to my research center and I'll show you some of the projects we're working on."

I tucked my papers away in the soft leather briefcase I'd acquired for my new role as a working man and followed Preston out of his office and down the hall. We passed the laboratory and it was very tempting to let Preston go on without me while I ducked into it. But I was going to have a legitimate job now, and I couldn't do as I pleased.

He led me around the research center of his department, introducing me to a couple of people and explaining their projects to me. I had to bite my tongue several times to keep from blurting out information that hadn't yet been discovered in this era.

"Hartwood's team is studying the ENA flux in our heliosphere. If we can find an explanation for the emission concentration, we may be able to control it in time."

I knew that "in time" would turn out to be well beyond Preston's lifetime unless he put me to work on this project. But energetic neutral atom imaging didn't interest me terribly much. I listened politely to what the project director said and eagerly moved on to the next thing.

"This is Martin Fitzgerald, better known as Gerry," Preston introduced me to another project director. "Gerry has just published an important paper on electro-magnetism."

"Pleased to meet you," I said, logging the name away. "I'll have to read your paper."

Preston went on, "He's waiting to see if he can get a grant for the very hush-hush project he wants to pursue with NASA in America. In the meantime, he's studying the magnetic field of Uranus."

"It's not really sensitive information so much as a question of rights," Gerry put in. "I'm not at liberty to talk about the project, so Doctor Preston makes it sound like I'm a spy or something."

"What about the magnetic field of Uranus?" I asked curiously.

"Oh, it's very large, and quite irregular to the other planets. We still know very little about it."

"How is it irregular? I do enjoy studying the Solar System, but Uranus isn't one of the planets I know so much about. I've spent much more time on Venus. On studying Venus, that is... not on Venus itself, because that would be ridiculous." I closed my mouth. Enough back-pedaling.

"As I said, we don't know much yet. _Voyager 2_ sent us a bit of information, but we don't even know how to process it all. How familiar are you with magnetics?"

"Quite," I said vaguely. "I'd love to see the extent of your research so far."

Then we got talking and Gerry got showing me charts and figures and, somewhere along the way, Preston disappeared. When he returned and told us he was going to lunch, I realized that hours had passed.

"You're welcome to take a break now, too," Preston told me. "Just try to be back within the hour."

"Will do," I answered. I leaned back in my chair and rubbed my temples.

"Headache?" asked Gerry.

"Yeah, I guess so. I normally wear specs for looking at things close-up, but I've lost them. Don't usually get headaches, though."

"Better get yourself some new ones—the longer you live, the more easily you get tired out."

_Ugh... humanism. _It was like a disease. _I'm dying already. Just very, very slowly._

"Are you on your own for lunch?"

"No; I'm meeting Pete. He's my... I'm staying with him. And he's bringing me to town until I have my own transport."

"I see. Well, you're welcome to eat with the team anytime you like. We usually go to the cafe across the street."

"Thanks; I'll remember."

* * *

After lunch, Preston summoned me to his office again.

"It seems like you work well with Gerry," he said. "I think I'll have you stick with his team for a few days so you can see how you like it."

"That's fine by me."

"I won't insult you by starting you on an apprentice wage, but while you're still learning how we do things around here you'll get the standard six pound-twenty hourly pay that our newcomers and lower staff get. After a week or two, we can talk about a weekly salary. How does that sound?"

"Good." I hadn't a clue whether six pound-twenty per hour was a modest wage or not, but I was pleased to know I was about to start earning _something._

"All right then. I usually leave at five. You don't have to stay that long today if you don't want to; just let me know when you leave so I can keep track of your hours."

I felt a little funny as I went back to Gerry's workstation. I was doing something that really interested me... and I was going to be paid for it. It seemed almost wrong.

Pete had told me to call him when I got done so he could pick me up. After I worked with Gerry and his other two underlings for another hour or so, we came to a place in our study that would best be left until the next day. I called Pete and took leave of the research team.

"It was good meeting you all," I told them. "Gerry, Simon..." I frowned, trying to remember the third man's name.

"Dan," he reminded me.

"Dan! Of course. Sorry about that, Dan. I'll do better next time."

"You were a big help," Gerry said. "Will you be back with us tomorrow?"

"Nothing will keep me away now I've got the taste of it. I'll be here at nine."

It felt almost like an _allons-y_ moment, but not quite. I wondered if I'd ever really have one of those again, now that I'd gone domestic. _Are my glory days behind me? Am I going to bore my kids to death with a lot of "back when I had adventures..." stuff? Oh, lord._

On the way home, I asked Pete what minimum wage was.

"I dunno... six something?"

"Six-twenty?"

"Sounds about right. Are they starting you at minimum wage?"

"Just for a week or two," I said. "I don't mind if they don't pay me as much as they do the ones who have been there longer, as long as it won't take me years to buy an engagement ring."

"Oh, it won't. You can always make a down payment on a ring anyway, and pay it all off later."

"I don't like to do that. I know myself too well; if I don't take care of a debt right away, I may never get to it. I'd rather make sure I have the money all at once. How much does an engagement ring cost?"

"If she doesn't mind a cheap one, you could get a very pretty but low-value one for a hundred pounds or so—maybe less."

I shook my head. Even if Rose didn't care about the cost, I wanted something special.

"Or they can run well into the thousands."

I whistled.

"You should take a look at some and get an idea of what you want. Then you'll have a goal to shoot for."

I made some calculations in my head. I'd worked for about five hours that day. Five times six-twenty was thirty-one pounds. If I worked longer days and made around forty pounds per day, In a month I could have enough for a decently valuable ring. _A month! _It seemed like a very long time. I hoped I would get a better weekly salary quickly. I grimaced inwardly. I was beginning to worry about money matters. Another sign of becoming more human.

"Oh, is there a place along the way that I can get a pair of glasses? Apparently I need them for close-up."

"Didn't you before?"

"Well..." I didn't like to admit that they had mostly been for show. The lenses did magnify things so I could scrutinize them better, but as for "needing" them... "Not so much as now," I hedged.

"I think I know a shop that has them. We can have a look at least."

For five or ten minutes I tried many pairs of glasses until I found a strength that definitely sharpened the fine print I was reading experimentally. Then I spent another few minutes locating a style I liked.

"Better buy two or three pairs," Pete suggested. "You'll probably end up losing them."

_True... humans are absent-minded and famous for losing their specs._ I got three pairs. We also picked up a bath robe for me while we were there, and some deodorant (beastly but necessary invention; I had begun to smell the stink of humanity on myself, and I would just have to make the best of it) and a razor. I kept remembering more things I needed... and racking up my debts to Pete. More worries about money. I had to pay Pete back eventually. I hated feeling indebted.

* * *

"What's your favorite color?"

"I love all colors."

"Well, what's one you really like?"

I pulled up a piece of grass and put it in my mouth. "Draceled has always fascinated me."

"What has?"

"Draceled. It's a color."

"What sort of color?"

"A... draceled color."

Rose gave me an impatient look.

"It's a primary... but humans can't see it."

"Oh, of course. Can you still see it now?"

"Mhm. You've got just a tint of it round the edges of your eyes. It's very pretty."

"Go on. Are you kidding me?"

"No." I propped myself up on one elbow. "Look up at the sky. There it is. Just a little rim, like the haze round a dying sun. Beautiful."

Her look melted into a smile and she reached up to kiss me. "Guess I have to take your word for it."

"Not necessarily. Come here." I rested my head against hers and led her into my mind. "This way..." I concentrated on the image I had just beheld, showing Rose her eyes through mine. "Can you see it now?"

"Oh... oh my god, there's a whole other color... I've gone my whole life not knowing anything was that color..."

I grinned. This felt like old times, showing Rose something I'd taken for granted that was new and amazing to her. It made me feel a bit smug.

We lay back in the grass and watched the clouds a while. They were getting thicker. It would probably rain that night.

"So, how was work today?"

"Good. I'm an established part of my research team now. I get my first paycheck at the end of next week, and possibly my first raise as well. Then I can start paying your dad back for a few things."

Rose took my hand. "Settling in nicely, then. Glad it's the weekend, though?"

"Well, of course—I get to spend more time with you. Oh, Monday they're having a bring-your-kid thing... think Jackie would let me take Tony?"

"Take Tony to work with you?"

"Yeah. What you think?"

"Well, he's not your kid."

"I know," I said quickly. "Just... don't wanna be the only bloke without one."

She fought it, but her smile grew into a grin. "I'm sure lots of your coworkers haven't got kids. Anyway, you don't wanna lug a baby around a research lab all day, do you?"

"Maybe not all day. Maybe Pete could take him home after lunch."

"I really don't think you've thought this through."

"No harm in asking Jackie, is there? Or do you think she'd have a conniption?"

"I dunno. Ask at your own risk."

A comfortable silence; then Rose asked, "When is your birthday?"

"My birthday?" Such a foreign question... but so normal for her.

"Yeah. What day were you born?" She rolled toward me and frowned. "You were... born, right?"

Unable to resist a little mischief, I put on my best southern American accent and said "I s'pect I grow'd."

"What?"

I laughed. "It's from Uncle Tom's Cabin. The character called Ophelia asks Topsy the slave girl if she knows who made her. Topsy says she doesn't think anyone she knows made her and she probably just grew. Sprung up from the ground like a plant or something. But yes, I was born, I think. At least... in a way."

"What does that mean?"

"But days are different on Gallifrey," I went on, glossing over that question. "We had a completely different calendar to yours."

"Well, when you were born on Gallifrey, what day was it on Earth?"

I furrowed my brow and closed my eyes for clearer thinking. "By our reckoning the positioning of the Medusa Cascade along with the revolutions of the spiral galaxies... but then the first time warp would have rippled it over, so if you wanted the actual _day_ of the final... well, what I think is the final representation..."

"What's the trouble? Did your birthday move?"

"Everything's in flux... including the day I was born. I think it did move a few times, but more importantly, Earth's position in relation to my birth moved several times. I could point to one of many, many dates."

"Okay, so... choose what you think it settled on."

"I think it's the eighteenth of April."

"But that's next Saturday."

"Is it?"

"Yes."

"Is that a problem?"

"Hardly anyone here knows you and we won't have much time to send invitations..."

I sat up. "Oh, I don't want a party or anything!"

"Why not?"

"It's not what I do. It's not what Timelords do. Even children don't have birthday parties. It's not done."

"Why not?" she asked again, this time sounding appalled.

"Birthdays just aren't important. Specific dates are kept on record in the Matrix, but we don't tend to pay them much attention. We learn our history of course, but dates aren't the solid markers for us in the way that they are for humans. Really it's more important to remember which events happened in what order, and occasionally how long it was between them."

"But don't you celebrate a new member joining your family?"

I lay back in the grass again. "There's a ceremony when the new member arrives, but it's not what you'd call a party." I realized we were talking in the present tense, as if Gallifrey were still there. As if it were still reachable. I probably shouldn't do that, but it would be awkward to switch over now. "When a House gets a new member, it's usually because someone reached the end of their regenerative cycle and died for the last time and was replaced."

That silenced her for a little bit before she asked her next question. "So, people don't have kids whenever they want to... they have to wait until there's an opening?"

"Mm... sort of. Sometimes. It depends on the circumstances."

"What about you?"

"I was..." I twisted my mouth around absently, trying to decide how to answer without going into detail. "Let's just say I think I was destined to be a renegade."

Rose looked a little too amused for my liking. "Your mum and dad had you without permission? Is that really scandalous?"

"Eh... a bit. Like having a kid out of wedlock in the early nineteen hundreds... not unheard of certainly, but still very frowned upon."

"Did they get in trouble?"

"I dunno. We didn't talk about it."

"Were they ashamed?"

"I don't think so. I think they just didn't want to bring up something that could make trouble."

"Were they nice?"

I wasn't sure how to react to that one.

"I mean... did you love them? Were you happy?"

A big cloud was catching up with a smaller one. I wondered if they'd merge together or if one was higher than the other and they'd just pass separately. "I don't know," I said quietly, not really engaging my mind in what I was saying. "I don't remember much of my time with them."

She stroked my hand. "I'm sorry. Did you lose them young?"

"I went to the academy when I was eight. I only saw them once a year after that for the next fifty years or so. And things happened... I can't remember the details. To be honest... I don't even remember what they looked like. I'm not certain if they were even my 'parents' in the sense that you mean. They may just have been cousins. Or keepers. I really don't know."

"Is it hard to remember back that far?"

"Not usually. I think my memories have been tampered with. I remember my time at the academy very clearly. Nothing seems to be missing there. I even remember my House, and I remember that my parents had a separate home across Kasterborous. That was very unusual for a Lungbarrow, having a separate dwelling apart from the main Household."

"You normally lived all together, then? How big was this house?"

"How big is Buckingham Palace?"

"I dunno... over a hundred by a hundred meters anyway. And a few stories high."

"Bigger than Buckingham Palace. And significantly taller."

"How many families lived there?"

"Up to a dozen or so."

"Are you getting tired of questions?"

I gave her a small smile. "Maybe we could pick this up later."

"Okay." She scooted closer to me and put her arm around me. "Can I please give you a birthday party?"

I sighed. I had the feeling if I said no I'd be going through this discussion every year for the rest of my life. "Will you keep it small?"

"I promise."

"Go on, then."

She gave me a squeeze. "Good. If you want to ask anyone from work, make sure you do it on Monday. Give them a chance to plan. I'll figure out the details with Mum tonight."

I wondered if this was a foreshadowing of the inevitable wedding plans. _It doesn't matter,_ I told myself firmly. _Let her do what she like__s if it helps her gain trust in me. She's more than worth it._

* * *

_Hope you enjoyed. Leave a comment if you have a moment. ^^_


	8. Still Whole

_Enjoy the new chapter and tell me what you think. I looked up what Brits put on their chips and found someone's posted response to the question that noted they eat them while watching Doctor Who. That made happy._

_Warning: Bit of sexual content in this one. If you're the proper age to be reading an M story, it won't phase you. If you're not, shame on you; go read something else. :p_

* * *

This New Life

Chapter Eight: Still Whole

* * *

Saturday, Rose and I went to see a film together. When our popcorn was gone she held my hand, and by the end her head was resting on my shoulder. I was surprised how much I enjoyed this particular film. Usually I didn't go in for twenty-first century love stories. Perhaps having one of my own going on made it appeal to me more.

We got chips afterwards in honor of our first "date." I told Rose that chips would have to become our traditional way of celebrating or recovering.

"Won't be good for our health, but at least it's not an expensive indulgence," she remarked.

We sat at a little table outside passing a salt cellar and bottle of vinegar back and forth. We talked about the film a bit before the discussion turned back to the one we'd been having the day before.

"Do you like cake?" Rose asked.

"Cake? Who doesn't?"

"Good. I want to get one for your birthday. You probably like chocolate, right?"

"I'll like whatever you get, I'm sure."

"No, don't be a man," she scolded. "What do you like?"

Perplexed, I stuffed some more chips in my mouth to buy time. _Thought being a man was a good thing... apparently not all the time. _"I do like chocolate," I said when my mouth was clear again. "Go with that."

"Okay... Did you ask Mum about Tony?"

"I thought better of it. You're right... it would be a bit much trying to look after him and do my job at the same time."

"Yeah. Maybe he can go along sometime when he's older. So, I was wondering: you said Timelords normally live all in one house?"

"That was Lungbarrow's way," I clarified, catching myself in time to use the past tense. "Lungbarrow was a Prydonian House; the other Prydons had several structures to house their members. Some of the higher-ups had homes for individual families, particularly the Oakdowns."

"Who were the Oakdowns?"

"Some of them were our nearest neighbors. I had a mate who lived a couple of leagues away. We used to run off and dodge chores together."

Rose laughed. "Were you a bit of a naughty child?"

"Just a bit." I'd never told anyone much about my childhood. It felt strange, but sort of good at the same time.

"And your friend; did you get him into trouble?"

"He usually got _me_ into trouble. But... he also got me out of a lot of it. It evens out in the end, I suppose. Or it did when we were young."

"What happened to him?"

Before I could divert my thoughts, images of the Master surfaced in my mind. Shot by Lucy... refusing to regenerate. Dying in my arms.

"Was it the Time War?" Rose asked softly.

That might have been easier... if he'd died in the Time War, or been sealed away with Gallifrey forever. But there was one thing about that that I didn't regret: at least this way the Master's death wasn't directly my fault. I'd done everything I could to save him. "No."

"You don't have to tell me about it."

"I want you to know everything about me. I just can't right now. It was... too recent."

"Too recent?" she repeated. "I thought all the Timelords were long gone."

"So did I. I'll explain it to you... maybe soon."

"Okay." She reached across the tabletop to take my hand.

I managed a little smile to reassure her. "Why don't you tell me a little about your childhood now?"

"Oh. Well, mine's... sort of boring, really."

"To you, maybe. I think mine's rather boring."

"Fair enough." She gave me the last of the chips and tossed the paper dish into a nearby garbage can. "Let's walk while we talk."

"Okay." We were in a fairly quiet part of town—for London, that is—and the sounds of traffic and other people passing weren't too much of an annoyance. I offered her my arm and we strolled.

"Mum moved to my old neighborhood with me right after Dad died. Made friends with my mate Shareen in nursery school and Mickey in Primary. We used to hang together a lot."

"Did I ever meet Shareen?"

"No. I wish she could have met you."

"Do you miss her?"

"Now and then. But not as much as I thought I would. I guess everything seems so big now... I'm not sure she would quite fit in my life now. I miss having a girl my age to talk to, though."

"Haven't you met any here?"

"Not really. Everyone's all business at Torchwood; I haven't made any real friends there. I trust some of them quite a lot, but we're not what you'd call close."

"And you don't meet people anywhere else?"

"A few, here and there... but they're people in Dad's business, or neighbors..."

"Sounds like you need a hobby or something. Something you could do once a week or so with other young people."

"Eh..." She frowned. "Maybe. It's not so bad now that you're here, though."

I arched an eyebrow at her. "I'm not a girl. And I'm not your age."

She laughed. "No, definitely neither of those."

After a while we circled back toward the car.

"So... I've been thinking about something."

"Good sign." She gave me a playful elbow and I laughed. "Okay, sorry. What is it?"

"When we... when we're married, are we going to be able to... because I know you're part human now; only one heart... but are other things different? Different from being human? And will that make it so..."

I was starting to glaze over. "Wait... what are you asking?"

Rose looked around at the passersby. "Are we compatible?"

"Um..." I still wasn't a hundred percent sure what she meant, and I wasn't about to assume anything.

"Let's get in the car."

I opened her door for her as usual and went around to the other side. As soon as the doors were closed, she clarified.

"Are we gonna be able to have sex?"

"Oh." _So that _was_ what she meant._ It was good to know I was interpreting correctly... and a little awkward. "I think so." I hadn't worried about that too much; I'd just assumed. But now that I thought about it, I really didn't know anything for sure. "But I haven't been in this body very long... I'm still getting used to it and all." I wondered if I was blushing yet. I was starting to feel warmer, that was certain. At least it was dark now; maybe the street lamps weren't enough to show my color.

"Timelords don't reproduce by... pollination or something, do they?"

That broke the tension. I had a good laugh, remembering Rose encouraging me to "pollinate" with the tree lady on Platform One. "No, certainly not. Timelords have sex. It's very similar to human sex, from what I've read."

"You read up on it?"

"Well... a bit. Why not?"

She was grinning now. "I dunno. You were always so... oblivious."

"I was not! I'm the one who explained Jack Harkness's orientation to you. I know what's what. If it seemed like I didn't notice his flirting, it's cause I was trying to discourage it." I thought of Martha and winced. "Okay, so maybe sometimes I don't catch on for a while. But I've... how do you put it—been around the block?"

"Yeah, I figured you had. But this regeneration in particular always seemed a bit innocent."

"Maybe that's because innocent is something I wish I could be."

We fell silent for a while until Rose asked, "Do you want to go home now?"

"I didn't plan on going anywhere else."

"Okay." She put got out the keys and began the drive back.

"Have I said something wrong?" I asked after a mile or two.

"No. Just gave me a lot to think about."

"Yeah." I slid my hand toward her on the seat and she reached down to take it.

When we were safely parked in the yard at home, Rose unfastened her seat belt and turned toward me. "I'm sorry for teasing you."

"That's all right," I said immediately. "Just part of getting to know each other better, right? Every conversation brings us closer together."

"I love the way you say things."

"I love the way you listen."

She gave me a very nice kiss then, rather like the one on the beach. I reached up very carefully to touch her hair, wanting to pull her closer, but a little afraid of spoiling the moment.

"I had a lovely time," she said when we came apart.

"So did I."

* * *

I thought over our conversations as I prepared for bed. I found myself staring at the mirror again, wondering just how much was different. At first glance, I was exactly the same. But my hair had become limper and I had just one heart... what else might be wrong with me?

I made sure there was no gap in the curtains and that my door was locked. Then I took all my clothes off and made a very careful examination. With the help of the mirror, I managed to scrutinize just about every inch. Nothing. I was still the same height, my eyes were the same brown, hair was the same brown, same weak wrists, same skinny build, same mole between my shoulder blades... same everything, to appearance.

I knew it was foolish, but I put my hand over the right side of my chest. I wanted so much to feel it contract again. I could faintly feel the movement of my left heart, but the right side was still... broken.

"All right, snap out of it," I told myself firmly. _It's going to be different, so I have to get used to it._ But there was still something else I had to know, before Rose asked many more questions.

I pulled on my dressing gown and went to the bathroom where I could easily clean up if I made a mess. I hadn't let my attractions out of their box beyond a faint stirring for a long, long time. It was nice to be able to turn them off, and now that I was part human I worried that once out, they would be impossible to put away again. But I had to know. I sat on the floor with my knees drawn up, closed my eyes and went deep into my memories where I hadn't dared to walk for an age.

_And there she was—my angel with our beautiful daughter sleeping in her arms. She looked up at me with a look that was clearly joy even though she didn't smile. The Evlogía._

_"My darling." I kissed her temple and looked down at the child. In a few years she would be taken to the academy. It didn't seem fair. I wanted her to stay with us every moment._

_"Plenty of time to worry later," the Evlogía said, reaching up to stroke my face. She always knew what I was thinking._

_"I worry for her, and for you. I worry that this happiness will be taken from me."_

_"You let your fear of the future rob you of the present. You wouldn't have me worrying for you in this way."_

_"No... of course I don't want you to worry about me. But Evah, if I lost the two of you, I think I would die. When our souls were knit, it was to be for the duration of our lives... I wouldn't want to finish out any length of years without you."_

_"That is very selfish, Doctor. You have so much life to give. You would waste it on self-pity?"_

_"Would you have me forget you?"_

_"You will never forget me any more than I could forget you. But I am a chapter in your story__—_a long one, I hope_—_but a chapter which can be ended and a new one begun." She laid our child in her cot and took my hand.  


_"But how would I ever find a heroine to take your place?"_

_"You can't. But you can find one to make her own place."_

_"How?"_

_"With your curiosity, your compassion and your daring. All of which you have in abundance."_

_"You think I'm daring?" I asked, momentarily distracted._

_Her eyes twinkled. "I _know_ you are." She kissed me tenderly._

_"Evah, I'm so old now. I thought that I would never love this way again. But you're right__—_someone has been making her own place in my heart. I've changed so much. I don't know if I can do this again."

_"Courage."_

_"I don't know how to ask you, but I need your help if you're willing."_

_"I would not refuse you anything, my love. Let me help you."_

A few minutes later, the vision was completely gone_—_that haze of an alternate timestream built on my memories and fantasies and guilt and speculation. I could still get there. It had been difficult, but I was still Timelord enough to manage it. My single heart was pounding out a very rapid beat, but it began to slow and I tried not to worry about it.

I was a mess, and not just with tears. I felt completely spent, physically, mentally and emotionally. I stepped into the shower to wash up. It had been a severe trial, but a successful one. One heart. One of everything humans normally had one of. And all seemed to be functioning normally. There were only a couple little things I'd have to explain to Rose, but I was sure she wouldn't be too phased. And my wife was back sleeping safely in my ancient memories again, as were my lusts and passions. I could still put it away.

I closed my eyes and let the warm water run over my face. _I'm different. But I'm still a whole person._ I still felt a little ill at the changes in my body, but there was some relief as well. Being so human made me feel as if I had a people again.

X*X*X*X*X

Sunday morning Rose brought me a cup of tea in Pete's home office where I was using his computer.

"Good reading?" she asked, setting the tea on the desk.

"Thank you. Yeah... it's a paper on electro-magnetism, written by my project leader."

"Fascinating." I could tell she thought it must be very boring.

"It is, though. All about the magnetic fields of planets and how we might be able to harness them. It could make travel between planets much faster."

"How fast?"

"That depends. But right now, how long does it take to get to the Moon?"

"I dunno..." Rose furrowed her brow.

"Fastest Apollo flight took just over three days," I supplied. "Now, take Mars. The fastest any spacecraft has gotten there from Earth so far is two hundred-ten days. About seven months. A manned flight might get there quicker, depending on the circumstances. But think: if we could get there in just one month... the research could progress so much more quickly."

She smiled. "You're getting excited."

"Am I?" I smiled back.

She stood behind my chair and draped her arms over my shoulders. I reached up to hold her hand and she kissed me next to my ear, part of it landing on my sideburn. I smiled and sighed a happy sigh. I hadn't experienced many Sundays for a long time. I didn't tend to land on them because nothing ever happens on Sundays. But today that felt like a good thing. Just me and Rose, doing nothing important. Maybe it was a little selfish, but... that felt kind of good, too.

"Mum wants to take Tony to the park and walk him round in the pram. Dunno why she wants to go to the park where there'll be a lot of noisy kids and people who can't control their dogs and all, but she said we could come. Do you want to go?"

"She's got a pram? That's all right. Love a pram. She probably wants to take him to the park to show him off. I would."

"So that's a yes?"

I looked up at her over my shoulder. "Do you wanna go?"

She chuckled. "Yeah, all right."

The park was indeed crowded with noisy kids and people with dogs... some of who could control them. Jackie seemed to love telling strangers about Tony.

"Oh yes, he's been crawling for months. He's very mobile. And learning to talk. We'll have to move our breakables up another shelf soon." She went on and on.

Rose and I exchanged knowing smiles as Jackie lapped up the attention.

"I wonder if she was that excited about me when I was a baby," Rose commented.

"Maybe. Firsts are exciting. But Tony's sort of the extra bonus she wasn't expecting. She's got the life experience to be a really great mum now, so she's bound to be enjoying it more."

"I s'pose."

"Not jealous of him, are you?" I teased.

"Not really. I am jealous that he'll have his dad growing up, though."

"That's understandable."

"Oh, Rose," said Jackie suddenly, "I see Sharon." She turned to me. "That's Sharon Goodall, Pete's VP's wife. She's got the kids along. I'll have to go say hello. You two got Tony?"

"We'll watch him," I said.

"Invite them to the party," Rose called after her.

"Are you inviting anyone from Torchwood?" I asked.

"Wasn't going to."

"Do they even know I exist?"

"Don't think so."

I sighed.

"What? Do you really want them to know? It's none of their business."

"Will they know when you're married?"

"They'll have to. Time off for a honeymoon, insurance... yeah, they'll know."

"Will you ever tell them who I am?"

She looked conflicted. "Doctor... no one can know who you really are. I'm sorry. No one's more proud of you than I am, but I can't risk anything happening to you. I can never lose you again. It would... shatter me." She hugged me.

"I know... I worry about you, though. Now that we're together, do you have to go on working for Torchwood? You don't want your dad working there, so... how come you are?"

Rose spotted Jackie heading back toward us. "We'll talk about it later," she said quickly.

All this time Tony had been watching a pair of boys playing with a Frisbee. He giggled when it hit the ground and one of the boys went chasing after it. When they were more successful, he bounced up and down, holding on to the edge of the pram for support.

"He'll be climbing out of there soon," Jackie declared. "Are you hungry? There's a man down near the gate selling hotdogs."

"Do you like hotdogs?" Rose asked me.

"Oh, it's been a long time since I had one. I remember liking them... doesn't mean I will now, though."

As it turned out, I did like the hotdog. I knew it was a ground-up compilation of the least choice bits of meat from some creatures who'd met untimely deaths... but it still tasted _very_ good. _I'm so human._

Seeing Rose enjoy hers made me feel less guilty. I took another big bite and savored it. I looked at her face, and Jackie's and Tony's, and took in the smell and taste of the food and the feel of the warm spring wind and did my best to cement this moment in my memory. It would be something I could take out and look at when I was feeling sad and it would cheer me up.

* * *

_This seems like a good stopping place. I made up the name for the Doctor's first wife, since it does not seem to be documented anywhere. It means "blessing" in Greek.  
_

_I don't know if anyone else has experienced this, but Fanfic seems to be having issues with breaks. Sometimes I put in a break, but when I save it the break disappears. That's why I put in a weird "X*X" break this time... it kept removing my original break. Weird._

_Anyway, please remember to review. ^^_


	9. Brave

_I know I wrote this one very quickly... hope there aren't a lot of mistakes. Happy reading. ^^  
_

* * *

This New Life

Chapter Nine: Brave

* * *

I woke up with the beginnings of a sore throat and runny nose Monday morning. Jackie diagnosed it as a cold and set about making me some peppermint tea. I sat sullenly in the kitchen, watching her prepare it.

"But I can't get the common cold," I protested. "I'm immune."

"Maybe not anymore," said Rose. "Part human now."

"But..."

"Maybe you should stay home today," said Jackie. "Just give the office a ring. They'll let you off."

"No. No, it's Bring Your Kid to Work Day, and I'm not missing it."

Rose grinned and kissed my head. "Make sure you don't infect all those kids."

"She has a point," said Jackie. "Kids get sick easily."

"I'll wash my hands every time I have to touch anything," I said. "Twice. And my face." I couldn't believe they were trying to get me to stay home when I'd been looking forward to this all weekend.

"He's made up his mind," Rose told Jackie. "No point arguing."

"Well all right, but I'm going to make you up a care package to take along..."

"Does she baby you like this when you're ill?" I asked Rose.

"No, not usually. Enjoy it while you can; after you've been around a couple of years she'll let you fend for yourself."

"Oh, stop it." Jackie offered me cream and sugar for my tea.

"I'll be absolutely fine," I told them, stirring the cream in and watching the cloudiness in my cup become a uniform tan. Mixing milk with anything had always been a fascinating process to me. I took a sip of the tea and put on what I hoped was a healthy look. "This is just what I need. I'll be better in no time."

I did feel a bit better after I'd drunk it; I know now that sometimes humans wake up with a few little cold-like symptoms that wear away throughout the day, and sometimes it gets worse the next day and sometimes it gets better. But at this point I just assumed my Timelord side was mastering it and that it would be long gone by dinnertime.

* * *

As it turned out, only half a dozen people in the physics department brought a child with them. Doctor Frasier brought his son Robert, Dan in my research team brought his daughter Alice, someone called Eliza Morris on the fission research team brought her niece; I wasn't sure who the other three boys belonged to. We went about our work at a very relaxed pace, answering the hundreds of questions the kids threw at us.

"Let's hope Doctor Morris's niece doesn't pick up her aunt's ways," Simon muttered darkly.

"Why? What's wrong with her?" I asked.

"Oh, Simon's just bitter because she refused to collaborate with us on a project last year," Gerry said dismissively. "We might have been able to help each other, but different teams are bound to be competitive. Can't blame her for wanting to protect her own interests."

"I want to go to Mars," Alice interrupted. "How come you're studying Uranus when Mars is so much closer?"

"We know a lot more about Mars than we do about Uranus," Dan told her. "But what we're studying here might help us learn about all the planets. Maybe you could visit Mars when you're grown up if we learn enough. What do you think of that?"

"Well... it seems kind of boring."

We all laughed.

"Tell you what," I said. "Why don't you go over to the ENA team there and ask them to show you some pictures of the magnetosphere?"

"What's a magnetosphere?"

"Ask them that, too. They can tell you all about it."

Alice took my advice and we all relaxed.

"You always hope your kid's gonna take an interest in your work," Dan said. "Maybe I should just let her alone."

"It's only one day a year," said Gerry. "I think kids can put up with 'boring' physics stuff for one day, don't you?"

* * *

It was a six-story building, not counting the basement. Our department was on the ground floor—very boring to a child. Some of the kids wanted to go up to the top floor to see what the view looked like from up there.

"We can spare you for a little bit, if you want to take them, Dan," Gerry offered.

"Probably won't take long for them to get bored and want to come back down," I pointed out.

"True." Dan pushed back from his desk. "All right, you lot. Who wants to go to the top floor?"

"Watch out for the mathematicians up there," Simon warned playfully. "Don't let them lure you in with all their pretty equations."

"And the mathematicians' _kids,"_ Gerry added. "Lord knows what they'll try to do to you."

I chuckled. "Bit harsh, don't you think? Mathematicians are... they are to our work what fantasy writers are to fiction. Where would we be without them?"

"A little more grounded in reality?" suggested Simon.

"Nonsense—all of reality is built on mathematics. Surely you understand that."

Gerry wheeled his chair in between us. "Let's not have this debate, shall we? Not amongst ourselves, anyway. Save it for inter-department battles. You're one of us, aren't you Doctor?"

I obligingly backed down. "Very well. All for one."

"Good. Now, maybe we can get some work done while the kiddies are upstairs."

I opened the care package Jackie had sent along with me and got out a facial tissue and a teabag. I got a mug of hot water and left the tea bag steeping in it while I went to the restroom so I could wash up after blowing my nose. When I came back for my tea, I glanced out the window and saw a couple of people looking up at our building. Someone was pointing.

I added a little milk and sugar to my tea and took a sip. A couple more people joined the first few. I frowned. What were they looking at? Suddenly, I got a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. They were looking toward the top of the building... and the kids were on the top floor.

I was probably overreacting. Still, I set my tea aside and headed for the lift.

"Where you off to?" Gerry called.

"Just gotta check that the mathematicians haven't eaten the kiddies," I said, trying to sound light-hearted.

I watched the amber light blink from one number to the next as I rode the lift to the top floor. They always moved so slowly...

When the doors opened, I found the mathematics department in near-chaos. Everyone seemed to be arguing. I looked around and was relieved to see a woman sitting in one corner with the kids, some from their department and some from ours. But then I took a more careful look. Alice was there, and Dr. Morris's niece, and one, two, three of the boys... where was Robert?

"Where's Robert?" I demanded of the first person I ran into. "Doctor Frasier's boy—where is he?"

The man I'd accosted held up his hands defensively. "Calm down, sir. We're handling this."

"Someone should call Doctor Frasier," the woman with the kids spoke up. "Maybe he can get him to move."

"And if he does, he might slip and fall," someone else countered. "He should stay right where he is until a rescue team gets here."

"Rescue team?" I said. "What you need a rescue team for?"

"To get Robert back inside."

"He's outside?!" I ran to an open window where several adults including Dan were looking out.

"Billy dared him," Dr. Morris's niece put in.

"Out of the way," I said in a commanding voice. The mathematicians parted before me like the Red Sea. Only Dan kept his place. I put my head out the window and saw the frightened eight-year-old clinging to a sturdy, swirled decoration at the corner of the ledge he was sitting on, some twelve feet from the window. "Robert?" I called softly.

Robert was staring wide-eyed at the gathering crowd down below.

"Robert, can you look at me?"

"I'm scared," Robert said in a tone of panic.

"That's all right. It's fine to be scared—that's your instincts working to help you. But you're not too scared to look at me, are you? Come on."

Slowly, the boy turned his head, and then his eyes finally darted up to mine.

"Good. There you are." I smiled at him. "How's the weather out there?"

"Good," he said, still sounding frightened.

"How'd you get out there? Must have been a daring crawl, eh?"

"I don't know... I can't get back. I can't let go." His pitch rose as he talked, the panic coming through more clearly.

"Easy now, it's okay. I'm gonna come out there, too. Not all the way out there; not sure I'm as brave as you. But I'll come out enough to help you, all right?"

"Okay." Robert kept clutching the structural ornament tightly, but his gaze stayed on me as I began to climb out the window.

Dan grabbed my arm. "You can't go out there, Doctor! You'll get the pair of you killed. Wait for the rescue team; someone's called the police."

I looked back at him like he was insane... but I suppose that's probably what he thought of me at that point. "The longer he sits out there, the more scared he'll get. He's holding on so tightly his grip is going to weaken very quickly. When he can't hold on anymore he'll _really_ panic and possibly lose his balance. Let go of me, or I'll pull you out with me." I wasn't sure I was truly strong enough to fulfill that threat, but Dan let me go.

I eased out onto the ledge, keeping a firm hold on the side of the open window. I let my legs hang down over the side of the ledge and scooted toward Robert. "Okay. Here we are. You're right, it's nice out here."

Robert looked near tears. I knew my time was very limited.

"Now, I've got a plan to get you back inside. Can you follow instructions?"

He gave a little nod. His fear had him nearly paralyzed, but not quite.

I kept moving toward him, as far as my right hand on the edge of the window would allow. "I'm going to guide you back towards the window, but you can't pull on me, all right? I'm bigger than you, but I don't weigh enough to make a fool-proof anchor. So, what you've got to do is you've got to scoot back over—see the way I've been moving? You do that back toward me. And then I'll take your hand, and we'll go together. But you've got to keep your weight balanced back so we stay sitting up against the wall. Do you understand?"

"I... I don't think I can..."

"You can do this, Robert. It's all a matter of physics. Gravity's pulling on us, but the ledge is between us and the ground. As long as we keep our centers of gravity over the ledge, it'll keep holding us up." I stretched out my left arm toward him. "Now, sit up and come towards me."

I could see the panic on his face as it warred with my instructions.

"Come on, long as you follow instructions, you'll be fine. It's just a simple problem, and you can solve it."

Robert began to sit up slowly, very nervously moving his feet forward and off the ledge.

"That's it. Take your time. Well done," I encouraged.

At last, he was sitting in the same position as me, right hand flat on the ledge beside him, left hand still clutching the ornament.

"You've got to move towards me now."

"I can't let go."

"It's not your holding on to that thing that's keeping you up here, Robert. It's your center of gravity. You can let it go and you'll be all right. We just need to get you back to the window. Come on, take my hand."

I was somewhat aware of voices wafting through the window... people telling me to get back inside, someone telling someone to keep away from the window, someone telling me to grab Robert. I blocked it all out.

"Come on. You'll be fine."

At last, those white little fingers released their death-grip and Robert's left hand moved down to the ledge.

"That's good. Now, take your time and move towards me. Just a little. You can do it." I held my breath as Robert followed my instructions. He moved a little... then a little more. Then when he reached out, I was able to take his hand. "Remember not to pull," I cautioned. "We need to stay balanced. Keep coming."

He moved a little closer and then we moved together. Inch by inch, we made our way back toward the window. I started hearing the occasional shout from the crowd below. The police had arrived. I had nearly got back to the side of the window when the voice of a police officer was amplified up at us through a bullhorn. I froze and gently pulled Robert's right hand down to the ledge to keep him still.

"You on the ledge: Do not move!" the voice shouted at us. "Repeat: Do not move! Rescuers are on their way up to you. Just stay calm and wait for help."

I lifted Robert's hand to show that we had heard. Then I turned to my young companion. "What you think, Robert? You wanna wait here until a bunch more people start hanging out the window and bossing us about?"

After a moment, Robert said, "Your plan was working."

"Yes, it was. You want to keep going?"

"Yeah."

I scooted along a little more quickly, extending my arm so as not to tug on the boy. I felt Dan's hand on my arm again.

"Okay, I'm going to have to let go of you for a moment. Can you sit still for me until I get back inside? I'll be right here to help you, I promise."

Robert nodded grimly.

"Good man. Just sit still and count to ten." I turned to get a better grip on the window with my right arm and swung my legs up onto the ledge. Dan shoved a few people back as I slid into the room. Ignoring everyone, I leaned back out the window and reached for Robert. "Okay, here I am." Robert took my right hand. "You can use me to steady yourself a bit more now—I'm anchored better."

"Okay." Robert moved more quickly and was soon sitting in front of the window.

"Good. Now just duck your head..." I pulled Robert backward through the window and set him on the floor. Before I closed the window I heard a cheer go up from the crowd. Then the rescue team was dragging Robert away, asking him if he was all right, taking his pulse, offering him one of those packages of juice with a straw, barely letting Dr. Frasier in to hold his boy.

Dan clapped me on the shoulder, and that was plenty of thanks as far as I was concerned. I tried to get out of the crowded room before anyone could scold my foolishness, but I found myself confronted by Dr. Morris.

"That was... completely mad," she told me. "But brave. Really brave."

"I didn't do it to get attention," I said, trying to duck around her and failing.

"I know. And that's why it was brave and not just mad."

"Well... thanks." My eyes fell on the other children, and suddenly it occurred to me that this story was going to be the sensation of several primary schools soon. "Excuse me," I said. I dodged around the edge of the room until I got to the kiddie corner.

"How's things here?" I asked the woman guarding the youngsters.

"I think they're all right," she said.

"It's not boring anymore!" Alice put in.

I fought a smile. "Which one's Billy?" I asked.

"It's not my fault!" A boy—presumably Billy—exclaimed.

"All right, listen. Maybe you did dare Robert to go out on the ledge. Maybe you even dared him to go all the way out to the corner. I dunno. But Robert did have a choice, and he went out there on his own."

"Right!" Billy agreed.

"Still, a good friend doesn't tell his mate to do something dangerous for no good reason. And even though Robert was very scared out there, he kept his head and followed instructions. That's why he's safe: because he listened and didn't let his fear get the better of him. Listening to Billy got him into trouble; listening to me got him out. So when you're all gossiping about this at school tomorrow, none of you should be making Robert out to be a wuss, cause he's not. And you should all learn from this not to make dares that will put people in danger. Understand?"

There was a lot of shame-faced staring at the floor and a murmur of "Yes, sir."

"Good. Now, I saw someone giving Robert a juice pack, and I don't think that's fair. There ought to be some for everyone, don't you think? Let's see if we can find more."

That sent the kids hopping up and running off.

"I just got them all quiet," the woman moaned.

"Danger's over," I told her. "They'll be fine now." I stood up and was about to leave when I nearly ran into Dr. Frasier.

"Doctor." He took my hand. "You saved my son's life."

"Well..."

"You're the one that was on the ledge?" a familiar voice demanded. "That was very foolish, sir. You might have gotten yourself and the boy killed."

"If it's not my friend with the bullhorn," I said dryly, turning a scathing look on him. "Let me give you a tip, officer. When someone's in a high place, fearing for his life, concentrating very hard on getting to safety, it's best not to _startle him with a loud noise!_ If Robert had fallen, it'd be on your hands."

"Sir, you're upset; you're in shock..."

"Oh..." I grimaced and turned away. I didn't want to see that man any longer. I let Frasier lead me away.

"I don't care what anyone says. You saved Robert. I can never thank you enough."

"There's no need to thank me," I said sincerely. "I'd just like to get away from all these people. Tell you what, though—I'm having a birthday party at the Tyler estate on Saturday. Why don't you come? Bring Robert and his mum... er, if you like," I added, realizing that I didn't even know whether Robert's mother was in his life. For all I knew, she could be dead, or long separated from them.

"We'd love to. But you'd better go on home before the press finds out who you are and starts hounding you for an interview."

I hadn't thought of that. "Yes, all right. If I don't see Gerry, you'll let him know I've gone, won't you?"

"Of course."

I took the stairs down, to avoid getting stuck with someone annoying on the lift. Then I fetched my things from the team's workstation.

"Doctor, what's going on?" Simon asked me.

"I've got to go, Simon. Everything's all right, though. Ask Dan about it when he comes down."

As I rushed across the entrance hall, Tracy called to me.

"Doctor! Is it true you saved some kid from falling out a window?"

I groaned. The rumor mill already at work. "I can't stop right now. I'll see you tomorrow."

Complete strangers ran up to me when I got outside, all asking questions.

"Were you up on the sixth floor just now?" "Was that you on the ledge?" "Whose kid was that?"

Finally, I turned to face them. "If you want to know what happened, I suggest you talk to the officer in charge. I have to go." Then I walked away, ignoring them as completely as I could. I managed to hail a cab, and it's a wonder I didn't shut my door on anyone, they were all pressing in so close to me. I missed my Tardis.

"The Tyler estate, driver... _Allons-y!"_

* * *

_xD Hope you enjoyed. Please review.  
_


	10. Hackette

_Thanks for the nice reviews. ^^ Here's chapter 10 (wow, 10 already?) xD_

* * *

This New Life

Chapter Ten: Hackette

* * *

"He's a bloody hero," Jackie declared at dinner. "Saved a little boy from falling to his death and then got chased off by the media..."

"It wasn't like that," I tried to interrupt, but I might as well have been a framed photo—I was looked at proudly, but no one seemed interested in hearing me speak.

"It took a lot of guts, I'm sure," said Pete. "But it was an awful risk. I'm grateful it turned out all right."

"I know," said Rose. "No safety harness, not even a rope! Didn't stop to think about that, did you? Just _climbed out the window!"_ she made a wild, upward gesture with one hand.

"It's a mathematics research laboratory! They don't keep ropes about."

"Still, apparently his boss was really pleased with him. Might be really good in the long run," Jackie said knowingly.

"It wasn't my boss's kid, it was his colleague's kid," I protested. How did Jackie get so many facts jumbled? I'd told the story quite clearly. "Anyway... I invited Doctor Frasier to bring Robert to the party on Saturday, so there you are. I asked someone from work."

Rose smiled at me. "Well done. Still wish you wouldn't be so reckless, though."

"Reckless," I repeated. "At least I'm only in danger of falling six stories—I have to worry about the possibility of _anything_ calamitous happening to you at Torchwood. I don't even know what you're doing there."

Silence fell over the table. I supposed I'd been a little blunter than I'd meant to.

"Can we talk about this later?" Rose finally said.

Later... that was what she kept saying. I didn't want to be impatient, but this was starting to bother me. "After dinner?" I asked.

"All right."

I relaxed a little then, and the conversation gradually picked up again.

* * *

After dinner, Rose and I took a walk out the drive and along the road. It was still warm and light out. We held hands and enjoyed the quiet for a bit before talking about Torchwood.

"The less Mum and Dad know, the better," Rose told me. "I think after a while, I can quit working there. I don't want to right away, but if I did, I couldn't anyway."

"Why? What do they need you so badly for?"

"It's not so much that as... I know too much."

That sounded ominous. "What do you mean?"

"Torchwood agents can't just resign. It's a secret organization. You have to be readjusted for civilian life. If you know too much about current assignments, you could be a liability. If you try to leave before they're ready to let you go..."

She hesitated and I stopped walking and turned her toward me. "What? What do they do?"

"Retcon. Memory wipe of however far back they need you to forget."

"But it's an indiscriminate wipe," I guessed. "It takes everything, not just what's classified?"

"Right. And I don't want to forget the last few weeks or months."

I was angry. Torchwood was so thorough that they didn't trust their own agents. It should be clear that Rose was ready to settle down and leave all the supernatural things to them... I wondered who was in charge over there. Some bull-headed man, no doubt.

"Like I said, though, I don't wanna leave yet. I want to finish up a couple of things at least. And the pay is _really_ good. I've been setting a bit by in case of emergency, but I think I might just spend some of it on a car... we'll need our own."

"I suppose... but you don't have to work. I'd rather know that you're safe."

"I can't just stay home all day while you work. I need something to keep busy, and right now this is a good fit. Anyway, I could just as easily say that _you_ don't have to work. I could support us both, you know."

I winced. I didn't want to be a kept husband. "Point taken," I said. "But I'd rather we cut loose from Torchwood altogether. The sooner you're out of there, the better I'll like it."

Rose took both my hands. "I'll get out just as soon as I'm sure they won't bother me once I'm gone. I promise."

"Okay." I kissed her and she kissed back. An old song came to mind suddenly and I grinned.

"What?"

I took her arm and turned back toward the house. "How lucky can one guy be?" I sang. "I kissed her and she kissed me..."

Rose laughed. "You silly."

* * *

I felt fine when I went to bed that night, but in the morning my cold was back _en force_. Jackie shepherded me back to bed and I called Gerry to see if they could spare me. I felt well enough to go in, but I figured it might be better not to expose my colleagues.

"If I were you, I'd keep well away from here," Gerry told me. "I spotted two reporters hanging around when I came in, and there may be more lying in wait. Doctor Preston gave them a statement that _a child_ was saved from the ledge outside a sixth-floor window by _an employee_ of the corporation. That's all we're giving them. If we're lucky in a few days they'll give up and leave you and Frasier alone for good."

"Okay; s'pose I'd better stay home, then. Tomorrow I'm testing for my driving license; I'll call afterwards and see if it's safe to come by for a while."

"Sounds good, Doctor. Get well."

I sank down in my swath of pillows and pulled the comforter up to my chin. "So," I muttered to myself, "this is what humans do when they're sick. This is really boring."

Jackie brought me the newspaper and some tea and then she let me go out to the living room mid-morning with a plaid blanket over me on the couch making me feel like a an army veteran. We watched really low-budget telly and then had lunch. I again felt gradually better throughout the day. I was relieved when Rose got home about three-thirty.

"You know what we were talking about, changing history?" I said.

"Yeah?" Rose curled up next to me on the couch.

"I think we should discover the cure for the common cold early."

"Didn't that stupid millionaire Van Statten already find it?"

"In our universe, yeah. Here, who knows? But I don't need him. I found the cure myself once, and I think I could do it again."

"Did you really?"

"Yes, it was in my... second incarnation, I think." I furrowed my brow in thought. "It's a little harder to remember these things than it used to be."

"You should start keeping a diary," Jackie suggested. "I think I've got a blank book lying around somewhere; you can start with that."

"That's a good idea," I agreed.

So that evening I started writing an account of my life, as far as I could remember it, beginning with my patchy childhood on Gallifrey. I wrote about a dozen pages before my hand was cramping too badly to go on, and I set it aside. This one is volume thirteen. I ended up taking two volumes each on my first and fourth incarnations, and one each for all the others including this new life with Rose... at least, one so far. From the looks of things, I'll have to use a couple more. If my memory starts to get very bad I can look back at these books and jog my memory. I suppose posterity might be interested in them one day, but it might be safer to burn them. Too many secrets that shouldn't get out. We shall see.

In any case, Jackie's efforts to get me well, a little store-bought cold remedy and a lot of tissues saw me no worse off the next morning, and feeling well enough to give my driving test a go. Rose had gotten me a theory test pass certificate so I didn't have to take the written test. I passed the eyesight test without any trouble. I then demonstrated to the examiner that I could carry out safety checks. Then came the actual driving. I'm not sure how long we were on the road, but it felt long. It also felt pointless to do all that driving without actually having a destination. It was a waste of petrol. When we got to the independent driving, I kept to stretches of road around the edge of town which had a speed limit close to what I estimated to be the car's optimum speed—the one which was most fuel-efficient for that vehicle.

When I got done Rose was waiting for us. The examiner told me I had passed without any faults. He did say that I seemed to be efficiency-conscious and that I had good reflexes. Then we arranged for my license to be sent to Pete's house and I drove Rose home.

Jackie had tea and cakes waiting for us. "I see you were driving, so I guess you passed?" she said.

"He did better than I did when I got my new license here," Rose said in an almost complaining tone.

Tony uttered some garbled almost-speech and slapped his hands down on some cake he was flattening against his tray. A few crumbs went airborne and littered the floor.

"Hush, Tony. Keep your food on the tray."

Rose got a broom from the cupboard and swept up the debris.

"I need to call Gerry to see if it's worth coming in today," I said. Jackie gave me my phone and I made the call.

"May as well wait until tomorrow," Gerry said. "We're pretty sure there's still a hackette hanging round hoping you'll turn up. She probably won't last another day."

"Okay; I'll see you tomorrow, then."

When I gave Jackie's phone back, I asked in puzzlement, "What's a hackette?"

Jackie smiled. "A hack's a journalist. Hackette: female journalist."

"Right." I nodded. At least the "ette" part made sense.

"Staying for lunch then?"

"Looks like I am."

"Good. You should take us for a drive after."

"Mum, he's been driving all morning," Rose complained on my behalf.

"Well, we could make it a short drive to a nice spot; let Tony play in the grass somewhere," I suggested.

"Oh, I know!" Jackie exclaimed. "We'll have a picnic lunch."

I glanced at Rose. "That'd be nice, wouldn't it?"

"Yeah, s'pose so."

So Jackie sliced up some cold ham and chicken and put it in a basket with bread and pickles and condiments and all sorts of things. No one packs a picnic like the British. I drove us back to the weeping willow where Rose and I had stood and talked a few days before.

"I'm not sure we're supposed to hang about here," Jackie said apprehensively as we got out of the car.

"They can't complain if we clean up after ourselves, can they?" I asked reasonably. I got Tony out of the car and handed him off to Rose so I could collect his bounce seat from the back.

We set everything out on a blanket and admired the tree and talked and ate and were lazy the whole afternoon. It felt like a dreadful waste of time, but I enjoyed every minute of it.

* * *

The next day I returned to work. Several of my coworkers—some of whom I didn't even remember meeting before—approached me to commend me for my bravery or say they were proud to work with me. I told them I didn't think it was anything so remarkable; I couldn't have done anything besides what I did. I knew I could help Robert, so I did. That was that. I told myself they'd all forget it soon enough. I invited my research team to my birthday party to speed up their distraction.

When it was time to go home I headed out into the foyer only to see a sharp-looking young woman across the room. She was dressed in one of those narrow skirts that made her take small steps and she carried a shoulder bag. Something seemed to say "hackette" in my ear, and I turned on my heel and disappeared back into the physics department. How could I get past her? I could leg it out of a window... seemed to be becoming a trend with me. But before I made up my mind to do it, Dr. Morris came around the corner, heading for the door.

"Doctor," she greeted me. "Is anything wrong?"

"Well... I think there's a journalist out in the foyer, and if I'm right then I'd like to get out without having to talk to her."

She opened the door a crack and looked out. "You're right; I saw her sitting on the bench outside yesterday. She's not one of ours. Got ink all over her, hasn't she? Want me to distract her for you?"

I cheered instantly. "Would you?"

"My pleasure." She slipped out of the door and I stood by it, listening.

I heard Morris's stylish shoes clopping across the marble floor and then she was introducing herself and asking if she could help our visitor. There was a little discussion and then I heard her say "If you'll just follow me..." In a few more moments I heard them crossing the floor and heading for the lifts. I looked out the door in time to see the lift close. I sighed in relief and made my getaway. I'd have to repay Morris's kindness if I got the chance.

I arrived extra early on Thursday morning, in case the hackette was planning to head me off. Then I left a half hour early as well, and it appeared that I was safe. I stopped worrying about it and thought about my upcoming meeting with Dr. Preston the next day. Little did I know that a marauding journalist was only half my worry.

* * *

I fairly bounced into the workstation on Friday. I couldn't wait to have my wage discussion with Dr. Preston, and I even found myself a little bit excited about my birthday. Another new human experience. It might be a lot of fun. I reminded Dr. Frasier about it and he told me that he and Robert would definitely be there.

I'm afraid I wasn't quite as helpful to the team as usual, since I was rather distracted, but we made progress all the same. I made up for it in enthusiasm and no one seemed to mind.

Just before lunch, Dr. Preston called me to his office. "Doctor, I'd like to discuss your work here over lunch—I'll pay for you," he offered.

"That's very kind sir, but you don't have to do that."

"It's nothing special; I try to treat everyone in the department at some point during the year."

"Well, in that case I'd be delighted."

We went across the street to the café and ordered our meals.

"I've heard nothing but good things about you from Gerry," Preston told me. "And since Monday Frasier won't allow a word against you."

"Doctor Frasier's too kind," I said.

"I've reviewed some of your work... it's brilliant. I mean truly brilliant."

"Thank you; everyone appreciates being appreciated."

Preston was studying my face intently with an almost-smile. "I know it's early, but I think you may be the cleverest man in my department—and therefore in the corporation, since my department has the cleverest people."

I smiled at his boast.

"You're a modest man usually, but you're not contradicting me now."

I shrugged. "If I said I'm really not that clever, I'd be insulting the whole corporation. I sometimes put my manners before my modesty."

The almost-smile became a real smile for a moment. "You could always say you're sure there's someone there smarter than you."

"But you've known them all for years and I'm new. If you already think I'm cleverest, I suppose you're probably right. There's no point in arguing it."

"You're an enigma."

"Thank you."

"When you first came I felt compelled to give you a chance, and I still think I was right. But I'm still not sure that I trust you."

"Trust me?" I shouldn't have been so surprised. I was just so used to people trusting me. I had one of those faces. But Preston was no fool.

"I didn't spot it right away. But a few days after you started work I remembered you saying that you chose the name 'Doctor' when you graduated university. But the birth certificate you showed me said that you were born with that name. Can you explain that?"

"It's an old family name I was born with," I said. "But I didn't use it until I graduated."

"I see... before that you were John Smith?"

"Jean LeFevre. John Smith in French. Perfugium is principally a French-speaking country."

"You're fluent in both French and English?"

_"Je parle de tout,"_ I quipped without hesitation.

Preston made a valiant effort to translate my words. "I speak... of..."

"I speak everything."

"Really? I remember some of my Latin, but... _Non loquor bene."_

It was clearly a test. _"Satis bene," _I assured him.

"I had a German roommate for a while, an exchange student," Preston went on. "He was always saying '_Alles hat ein Ende; nur die Wurst hat_ zwei.'"

"All things have an end; only the sausage has two," I translated. "Shall I give examples of my Chinese, Spanish and Russian as well? Or perhaps my Japanese, my Korean, my Norwegian, my Finnish..."

"That won't be necessary." He frowned at me suddenly. "Finnish? Who speaks Finnish?"

I gave a little shrug. "Well, you know... you pick things up."

"I'll be honest with you: the only reason I don't think you're some sort of special ops foreign terrorist is because if you were you'd never have showed me how clever you are. You'd have hidden it and kept a low profile."

"Maybe I am hiding it," I countered, raising one eyebrow. "Maybe you're just seeing the tip of the proverbial iceberg."

Preston steepled his fingers. "I almost hope that's the case. One way or the other, you're the most interesting thing to come into my department in a long, long time.

"Your chips are gonna get cold, sir."

"I'm going to set your salary at two hundred-fifty a week. Anytime you're asked to stay after regular hours you'll earn ten pounds per hour. How does that sound?"

"That... sounds reasonable," I said, doing some quick arithmetic in my head to see whether I'd come out much better than before.

"You'll also get two paid vacations and a Christmas bonus... assuming you're still with us then. I'll continue to monitor your performance and if it is satisfactory, your salary may be raised in a few months."

I set down my sandwich and cleaned my hand on a napkin before extending it to Preston. "I'll take it," I said.

"Good." Preston shook my hand. "You can pick up your first paycheck at the desk on your way out today. The next is at the end of the month. Oh, and try not to get yourself killed rescuing anyone—I want you in my department a long while."

"I'll do my best."

Everything seemed to be going very well. I returned to my work station in the glow of a positive conversation with the boss. Dan and Simon congratulated me on my graduation from hourly pay. Then the real trouble began.

* * *

_Cliff hanger to be evil. ^^ It would have gotten too long otherwise. Leave your thoughts and don't kill me for the suspense... or you'll never hear what the real trouble was. lol  
_

_Notes: The song the Doctor was singing is "Ain't That a Kick in the Head" by Dean Martin._

_Preston said in Latin "I don't speak it well," and the Doctor answered, "Well enough." I'm not actually fluent in all these languages so I may have made some errors. Feel free to correct me.  
_


	11. In the Workplace

_Okay, hang onto your hats. Adult issues in this one, nothing explicit._

* * *

This New Life

Chapter Eleven: In the Workplace

* * *

"Coffee pot's empty," I heard Dr. Morris complain. "Hot water's nearly gone, too."

I looked up. I'd been planning to make myself some tea soon.

Morris saw my glance. "Give me a hand filling them up, Doctor?"

It wasn't as big a deal as distracting a ravenous journalist, but I was eager to help her out if I could. I hopped up from my chair and unplugged the hot water carafe. She took the coffeepot and the used grounds and we headed for the lounge.

I'd scarcely put the carafe under the tap when she said, "I've been meaning to tell you that you don't have to worry about that journalist anymore. I think I've convinced her to stay away."

"Oh. Good. Thanks a lot."

"We make a good team."

"S'pose we might."

She had fresh coffee grounds measured out, and now she came to fill the pot with water. "We ought to work together more often."

"Maybe so." I wondered why all the small talk. Morris was usually a straight-forward person, from what I'd seen.

"Maybe after this we should go somewhere; find out just how good we are together."

That struck me as downright weird—like me looking for a new companion in exactly the wrong way. I didn't know what to make of it. "Er... what do you mean?"

She set the full coffeepot aside and gave me a patient look. "I mean, would you like to make love to me."

I can't imagine what my face looked like... maybe it just froze; maybe I looked aghast. I knew there must be a protocol for this situation, but my brain wouldn't engage. My last regeneration would have scoffed and given a simple "No." But I still wished I could be innocent. At last I found my voice. "You're an attractive woman and all, but... I can't."

"Hear me out," she said, stepping a little closer. I could feel her body heat. "I think you'll find that you can. I'm willing to offer you two things you want, and to keep something from you that you don't want."

_Bribery and blackmail at the same time,_ I inventoried. This wasn't going to be simple to deal with. "It doesn't matter what you have to offer; I'm not interested."

She paused and looked me over skeptically. "There can't be two of you."

"Two of me?" I nearly panicked. How could she know there were two of me?

"You and Mister Fitzgerald," she explained. I relaxed a little. "You're both very clever, both good-looking, and both above breaking company policy."

"Company policy?" _Quit repeating her,_ I scolded myself. _You're making it really obvious how nervous you are._

"The one about people from the same department being romantically involved... don't tell me that's not why you're trying to turn me down?"

_Oh, _that_ company policy,_ I wanted to exclaim, but the situation was a little too serious for that. "Well, now I have three reasons to turn you down."

"Really?" She leaned on the counter and gave me a daring look. "What might the other two be?"

"First, what you are suggesting is evil. You're trying to coerce me into something that could ruin us both. Second, I'm going to be married."

She smiled. "Going to be? Didn't anyone tell you—what you do _before _the wedding doesn't count. I could be your bachelor party."

"You don't know what you're saying."

"You really intend to be faithful to her, don't you?" She said "faithful" like it was something childish.

"Yes. If I'm nothing else, I want to be that."

"You've told me your reasons why not; now you listen to my reasons why you _should._ The thing you don't want that I can stop is that journalist."

"You said she wouldn't be back."

"She won't, unless I phone her." Morris pulled a business card from her pocket. "I convinced her to leave because if she loitered much longer someone was bound to call the police. I told her it would be better to have someone on the inside working to discover the identities of the rescuer and the child. If I call her with information, she'll even give me a reward for it. However, if I call her and say that there was a general announcement that anyone talking to the press about the incident will be in danger of dismissal, she won't bother us anymore."

"So, option A: you turn my life and the lives of Doctor Frasier and his son into a circus; option B: you tell a lie. How about C: you shred that card and forget the whole thing?"

"I haven't gotten to the things you want yet." Morris crossed her arms and looked confident, as if she were sure she had the upper hand. "You like Mister Fitzgerald, don't you?"

"Fine," I said warily.

"The gossip chain has probably told you by now that I refused to collaborate with his team a while back. My team made great strides; his was left behind. If I were to let him in on my work now, it would advance his career exponentially. His mind with my research would give him what he needs to guarantee that job in Florida that he's after."

"What about the team he's leading now?"

She laughed. "Isn't it obvious? That would go to you. No question about it. It would mean a raise and control of what your team works on. Don't pretend you wouldn't like that."

"You mentioned you had two things I wanted. What's the other one?" I wasn't very interested in hearing any more, but I wanted to buy time to think how to get out of this.

"Why, sex of course."

This time I laughed. "Oh, how little you know about me..."

"What? You're not gay, are you?" She looked a little worried, and I was tempted to say yes, if it would get rid of her.

"No. You don't get it. I'm promised to someone—I wouldn't sleep with you any more than I would prepare sushi with you, or plant a garden, or do your washing. You're not my intended partner, and I'm simply. not. interested."

She looked at the wall clock. "I've made you a very generous offer, Doctor. I'll give you until five to think it over. If your answer is still no..." she flashed the journalist's card. "Remember, it's not just yourself you should be thinking of. There's Frasier and his boy, and Mister Fitzgerald."

"What is it with you and Gerry, anyway? It wasn't just team rivalry; you have something personal against him, the way you keep saying 'mister' instead of calling him Gerry like the rest of us. You mentioned he upholds company policy—did he turn down an offer like this from you?"

"My differences with him have nothing to do with this. It's none of your business."

"I think you just made it my business."

"This is the only business you need to worry about." She caught me off guard, leaning in quickly to press her mouth against mine.

I tried to back away, but she came with me, wrapping one arm around my neck. Her other hand was on my chest, and I was rapidly redefining my concept of danger. I finally wrenched away from her. I couldn't decide which outraged thing to say first. I settled on: "Don't _ever_ touch me again."

She picked up the coffeepot. "Five o'clock. And if you get it into your head to tell someone about this, remember that I can just as easily throw accusations at you."

"And they'll believe you because you've been here longer," I realized.

"They'll believe me because I'm a woman." She made that her exit line, and it was quite well-executed, I had to admit.

I stood on the spot, forgetting about the water I'd gone in there to fetch. I didn't know what to do. Even if I thought a report against Dr. Morris would be believed, without knowing her history with Gerry I couldn't be sure how taking that option might hurt him. I hadn't settled on any course of action when Maggie walked in a minute later.

"There you are, Doctor."

I blinked. "Maggie, what are you doing here?"

"I was taking a communique to Doctor Preston and I decided to stop by and see you."

"To commend me for my exploits on Monday?" I asked, quite tired of the whole thing.

"No. Just to say hello... I haven't seen you for a while. Are you okay? You're shaking."

"Am I?" I looked down at my hands and found that she was right. "Well, I... I just had a bit of a shock."

"I'm sorry. Maybe you should go home."

"I can't." I looked at the clock. I had less than three hours. "I have to stay until five today."

"I'm sure they'd let you go if you explained."

"No—there are things I need to do."

Maggie came close and I watched her warily, half expecting her to throw herself at me, too. "Is there anything I can do?" she asked.

"No," I said immediately, in case there was a hidden meaning in her words. Then I thought of something. "Actually... do you remember the journalist who was hanging around the last few days?"

"The woman with the shoulder bag?"

"That's the one. Did she give her card to anyone?"

"I'm not sure... but she left one at the desk."

"Really! Do you still have it?"

"I don't know; it was a couple of days ago. Tracy might have thrown it out by now."

I groaned. "What is it with that woman throwing out things I need? Never mind—has the bin been emptied?"

"I'm not sure. I can look for you. But what do you need it for?"

"I can't explain, but it's vital. It's... well, not life or death, but the next best thing."

Her face adopted a look of genuine concern, and I was sure I could trust her. All the same, when she reached toward me, I lurched back.

"Sorry... Later I'll probably want a hug or something, but right now... I need to be left alone," I said apologetically.

"You should drink some water and sit down for a bit," she advised, the look of concern deepening.

_Water._ I picked up the carafe of water and headed for the door. "I'll be all right." I paused and glanced around the ceiling. My eyes came to rest on a security camera in the corner. "Out of curiosity, what happens to the CCTV footage?" I asked, nodding toward the camera.

"It gets stored for a while and then taped over," Maggie answered.

"Stored for how long?"

"I don't know; a week or two, I imagine. Doctor..."

"Just try to find that card for me."

Back at the workstation, Gerry asked me if everything was all right.

"Yeah," I said, trying to sound at ease. I hated lying to my colleagues. "Just... got a message. Gotta make a big decision soon."

"Do you want to leave early?"

"No, no. It's better if I stay." I kept my chair angled toward the door so I could see Maggie's return, and after a few minutes she was there, giving me a subtle nod. "Perhaps I should just get some air," I told the others. "Refocus."

I stepped out into the foyer with Maggie. "Have you got it?"

She pressed the little white piece of cardstock into my hand. "What do you want her for? I thought you'd want to keep away from the press."

"I'm sorry, I can't give you details," I said, looking the card over. It said _Jessica Miller, freelance journalist_ and had her telephone and email.

"Just please tell me you're not a corporate spy," Maggie said.

I stared at her. "A corporate spy! Is that what they're saying?"

"Some of them. I'm against though, and I'd really like to be right."

"Don't tell me there's a pool on this."

"Well..."

I rolled my eyes. "Put me down for five quid on space alien," I muttered.

Maggie laughed.

"Look, I'm just someone far from home trying to make a new one. And right now that might become impossible if I don't talk to this woman."

"Doctor... is someone... threatening you?"

I hadn't given Maggie enough credit. She was quite perceptive. "I told you, I can't explain. Please respect that."

"All right... but if I can help any more, please let me know."

"I will." I hurried from the building, hoping I could be back before Morris became suspicious of my absence.

I ducked into the café and chose an out-of-the-way corner booth to call Ms. Miller. I held my breath while the phone dialed.

"Jessica Miller," said a business-like voice.

"I'm the man you've been looking for," I said bluntly.

"The man from Icsos? The one who saved the boy from falling off the ledge?"

"That's me."

"I've heard such claims from others; how do I know you're the real one?"

"I can prove to you that I work at Icsos. I have a narrow window of opportunity for you, Ms. Miller. I want you to meet me immediately in the café across from the research center. I want to make you a proposal which I'm sure will be favorable to you."

"It'll take me a few minutes to get away and a while more to drive across town."

"Make it as soon as you can. Time is very limited."

"How will I know you?"

"I'm in a blue suit and gray tie." I ended the call without further instruction. I knew it was rude, but I also knew that the intrigue would make her hurry. I ordered a cup of tea and sipped at it, hoping it would calm my nerves. I was still a little shaky. I ran my fingers through my hair, drummed them on the table, drank the remainder of my tea quickly when I found it was barely warm.

Finally, about ten minutes after I called, the hackette arrived. She had made very good time, apparently. She spotted me and I nodded to her.

"Order whatever you like," I said as she slid into the booth.

"I'll just have a coffee," she replied. "Now, you said you could prove you work at Icsos?"

I held out my employee badge to her.

"Very well, for the time-being I'll assume you didn't nick that off someone else. What's your name, Doctor?"

"I'm the Doctor. That's all you're going to call me in your exclusive."

"An exclusive? That sounds promising."

"I have my conditions."

"I expected as much."

"I'm not going to tell you who the boy was. I want him and his family left alone."

"Or do you just not _know_ who he was?"

"I don't have time for games, Ms. Miller."

"Call me Jessica."

"I just said I don't have time for games."

She looked impressed at that. "You're a hard-boiled egg, aren't you? Tell me something: if you've been hiding from me all week, why come to me now?"

"Because the best way to stop a blackmailer is to make their threat moot. If I come to you myself I get to tell my story on my terms and leave the boy's family out of it."

"Someone's threatening to disclose your identity?"

"Yes. You spoke to her, I believe."

"Ah, Doctor Morris."

"So you see, my coming to you is in both our best interests."

The hackette got out a notepad and pen from her bag. "Very well. I get the exclusive. What do you get? You want the boy's identity kept secret..." she wrote on the pad. "And you don't want me communicating with Doctor Morris. Anything else?"

"You can't put a negative slant on the corporation. It's a safe building full of responsible people. What happened on Monday was a result of kids being kids."

"I think I can handle that."

"I also want to see the story before you print it."

She paused her writing for a moment. "Very well. Can you meet me here at eight on Monday morning? I'll have it done by then."

"It's a deal."

"Good." She smiled. "Let's start at the beginning."

* * *

I gave her the information as quickly as I could, and the meeting was concluded in about fifteen minutes. I was back in Icsos half an hour after I left.

"Sorted things out?" Gerry asked me.

"Some," I said. "Gerry, could I have a word with you?"

"Er... all right."

We went into the lounge and hung around a little while, waiting for the one person taking a break there to clear out.

"It's about Doctor Morris," I started. "I know you're going to say it's none of my business, but I want to know what happened between the two of you." I didn't give him much time to take in what I was saying before going on. "Were you lovers, working partners, are you related? Anything."

Gerry wasn't a rash man. He took my questioning in stride. "Why are you asking me this, Doctor?"

"Because she said some things today that made me think... that she might need help. And if you were close to her once, you may be the one to help her."

"What kind of things?"

"Sort of... desperate-sounding things." The clock showed that I had under two hours now. "Please, I just need some insight."

I could tell Gerry didn't feel comfortable spilling his guts to me—perfectly understandable since we hadn't known each other long—but he usually trusted my judgment. "You won't discuss it with anyone else? It's been difficult keeping the past from my colleagues, and I'd rather it not all come out now."

"I won't. I promise."

He nodded and took a deep breath. "Eliza and I were lovers, as I think you suspected. I saw her when she was at university and I had just begun working here. When she graduated and got a job offer here in this department, I asked her not to take it. She's brilliant; she could have gotten a good position somewhere else, but she said she wanted to work with me so we could be together."

"But you weren't willing to break company policy?" I guessed.

"Right. I thought I made it clear to her that I didn't want to keep our relationship a secret. I had worked so hard to make my way in the few years I'd been here. I wouldn't give that up for anything. But she took their offer anyway. I told her I wouldn't see her as long as we were working in the same department. I think she thought I'd change my mind after a few days without her. But I never did. It didn't take long for us to quit speaking to one another... whenever we tried it always turned into an argument about her leaving the corporation."

"Was it worth it?"

"This is my life's work."

"But you wanted her to be your life partner, didn't you?"

"That's in the past now."

"What if you could get back together without losing your career? You're trying to get a job in the States, aren't you?"

"You think we could get back together long-distance?"

"Gerry," I said very seriously, "I know how difficult it is having to choose between one's life work and one's soul mate. I'm never going to make that decision again. Try talking to her. Just try. You haven't anything to lose, have you?"

"I may not even get that position at NASA."

"If you get her back on your side, Doctor Morris could help you get it."

"I don't know about that..." Gerry stared at the floor for a little while before looking back at me, perplexed. "What exactly makes you think she needs help, anyway? What did she say?"

"Well... I overheard her talking to... someone in our department. Hitting on him, actually. Rather aggressively."

"Really? That doesn't seem like her. But then, it has been two years since we split up."

"You know what I think? I think seeing you day after day and not being able to talk to you is driving her mad. I think we should see this uncharacteristic action as a cry for help."

"How did the bloke take her attention?"

"Oh, he wasn't interested. He's got someone else."

"How did you overhear all of this?"

"Gerry, don't change the subject. Will you talk to her?"

"I doubt she'd listen to me. She was very angry about the breakup."

"If I can convince her to try, will you?"

He eyed me suspiciously. "Why would you be able to persuade her?"

"I'm a persuasive person."

"Why do you care about all this?"

"I have my reasons. One of them is that you're my friend. I don't want you to have to wonder what might have happened if you'd tried."

Gerry shifted his weight back and forth a couple of times. "Look, if I agree to talk to her—_if _you convince her, that is—will you leave it alone after this? No matter what happens?"

I looked at the clock again. "I won't bring it up after today," I said. _I just hope this isn't my last day here._

"Fine. Let me know what she says."

Gerry returned to work and I headed for the lab to find Dr. Morris.

When she saw the grim look on my face, my antagonist immediately left her microscope and stepped out into the hall with me.

"So, you've made up your mind?"

"My mind was made up when you first made your solicitation," I said coldly. "I just wanted to let you know that your threats are no good now. I spoke to the journalist that was here and I gave her an exclusive interview on the condition that Frasier and his son be left to their privacy. She won't be interested in anything you say now."

"You're bluffing."

"It'll be printed next week. Tuesday, I'd guess. As for threatening to turn an accusation around on me, the CCTV footage will clearly show _you_ assaulting _me._"

"Assaulting," Morris said scornfully. "Really. It was just a kiss."

"It was a sight more than that."

"I could still tell another journalist about Frasier and his son. There are plenty more out there."

"I don't think you'd do that."

"Well you can be sure I won't be doing Fitzgerald any favors, thanks to you."

"About that... I think the trouble between you and Gerry is just miscommunication. You both want the same things, really."

"What do you know about it?"

"I know that you were in love with him and you wanted to work with him. Gerry saw things differently. He wouldn't break the company policy for you, and he wouldn't give up his job for you. That hurt you. It hurt you a lot."

"You spoke to him about this," she said, her eyes wide.

"I didn't tell him what you said to me. As far as I'm concerned, if we can settle this peaceably he doesn't need to know. No one does. I did tell him the truth, though—that I think you need help. And he may be the only one who can help you."

"I'm through with him. I don't want his help or anyone else's."

"Doctor Morris, I know what it is to be separated from someone you love and to wonder what you might have done differently to prevent it. To suffer a lifetime of guilt because you tried to protect yourself when it seemed best at the time. I don't want that to happen to you. You have a chance at real happiness here. Gerry's willing to talk things out with you. What have you got to lose, eh?"

She wasn't staring at me in defiance anymore. She was looking away, clearly beginning to consider my words. After a long silence, she asked, "You won't ever report me?"

"If you give Gerry an honest conversation and promise to leave Frasier and Robert alone, then no. But I don't want to leave this until next week. You've got to talk to him today." I refrained from rubbing it in and telling her she had until five o'clock.

"All right," she said quietly. "I'll talk to him. But not here."

"I'll have him meet you in the café."

She nodded and turned away immediately. I guessed she would probably avoid me for a while... maybe for as long as we both worked at Icsos, though I hoped not. I was sure she wasn't all bad; just mixed up emotionally. And I certainly couldn't fault anyone for that.

* * *

_Tune in next week to see the fallout... :p It probably won't be a week though. Positive reviews keep me excited to write more. _


	12. Best Wishes

_Keep the comments coming. ^^ I've never written a story this fast!_

* * *

This New Life

Chapter Twelve: Best Wishes

* * *

I took it as a good sign when Gerry called from the café to say he might be there a while and we should carry on without him. His face didn't betray much when he returned just before five o'clock, but he didn't look angry or miserable. He and I lingered when the others headed out at the end of the day. When Dan and Simon were out of earshot, we could finally speak freely.

"How did it go?" I asked.

"Better than I expected... we're going to meet up tomorrow to talk some more."

"That's good."

"I think so."

"It can be awkward when you've been apart so long and you finally get back together. You're each wondering how much the other's changed... it's difficult. But it's worth trying."

"Speaking from experience?"

"Definitely."

Gerry smiled a little. Then he asked, "Doctor... you were the one she was hitting on, weren't you?

"What makes you think that?"

"It's just that you became so personally involved when you don't know either of us all that well. And you're one of the cleverest, best-looking men in our department. And it doesn't make sense that you would just have 'overheard' a conversation like that. And since it's so out of character for her, it seems to make sense that she'd choose someone new to the corporation."

"Well... you're right, it was me. But I think she chose me because she notices people in your group. I think she's been watching your team all along, taking an interest in who you're working with because she missed you but she didn't want to admit it. And then I suppose when I came into your team she must have latched on to some fantasy of replacing you with me. It makes me feel sorry for her. But it can work out."

"Do you think I ought to go back to her if she's so emotional? I mean, is this a foreshadowing of what I'll have to deal with?"

"She's not just emotional, though. She's clever—very clever. And logical. I mean, even in the way she came on to me, she was very systematic. I think it was just the heartache she's been dealing with in the wrong way for so long. Once she's over that, she'll be much better."

"Time will tell, I suppose. Whatever comes of it, I appreciate your trying to help. And I'm sorry you had to be involved."

"That's all right. Got to take one for the team sometimes, eh?"

Gerry laughed dryly. "I guess."

As I crossed the foyer I heard Maggie calling me. I turned around and ran back to her.

"Maggie! Sorry, I forgot about you."

"Everything sorted?" she asked.

"Much better now. Thank you so much. Listen, if you can I want you to come to my birthday tomorrow. At the Tyler estate. One o'clock."

"I'd love to," she said. "I'm so glad things worked out."

"I'll have that hug now, if you don't mind."

She grinned and gave me a squeeze.

"Thanks again. You were a big help to me. I've got to get home now."

"All right. See you tomorrow, then."

* * *

Rose had been home a while when Pete brought me back. Jackie said dinner would be in about half an hour, so I took Rose out on the veranda to talk.

"You look serious," she said. "Everything all right?"

I took her hand and led her to sit down. "I need to tell you something and it's going to upset you."

"Okay..."

I gave her a moment to prepare herself a little. I probably shouldn't have let her start the worst-case-scenario routine, but it was a good strategy for downplaying the incident. "Today I had a new human experience," I said, keeping my voice calm. "I believe you call it 'sexual harassment in the workplace.'"

She looked shocked—the type of shocked that told me she had never thought of the possibility and suddenly felt that she should have. "Oh, my god... what happened?"

"I'm fine; it's all sorted now," I said quickly. "I don't like telling you about it because it'll make you worry about me, but I don't want to have any secrets from you."

"How is it 'sorted'? Did you report her? Or him... was it a him?"

She looked so bothered that I couldn't help a little chuckle. "It was a her. And no... I decided to try to fix the problem, rather than replacing it with another one. I got her back with her old boy friend."

"You what?"

"Well, it became obvious to me that she only came after me because she was fed up pining for her ex. So I convinced them to start talking again. They're getting together again tomorrow. I'm hoping the spark comes back."

Rose was sort of gaping at me. "So... you deal with your molester by playing match maker for her?"

"For goodness' sake, she didn't 'molest' me. Well... she kissed me."

"Did she!" Rose stood up. "Who was it?"

"Rose..." I didn't know whether to laugh or be stern. "Sit down, love. I'm not going to tell you who it was."

"Why not?"

"Because I don't want Torchwood taking a hit on her. It'd be bad for Icsos. Now, please sit."

Grudgingly, Rose sat down again. "She kissed you. What sort of kiss?" she demanded.

"Well..." I took her wrist and pulled her arm around my neck. Then I placed her other hand on my chest. "Like this." I kissed her and let her deepen the kiss until I felt her tongue trying to work its way into my mouth; then I pulled away. "That's about when I escaped," I explained. "And I didn't kiss her back, on my honor."

"That... little..."

"Rose, let it go."

"I can't." She took my face in her hands. "You're mine. I don't want that bitch or anyone else touching you."

"Oi, no need for that. Come here." I hugged her tightly. "I am yours, and I made that as clear as I could to her. She's not gonna bother me again. And instead of getting her fired, I gave her another chance. A better chance. If she steps out of line again, she knows I won't let it go a second time. Everyone's safe from her and she doesn't have to start her life over. Isn't that a good ending?"

"Not as good as clocking her would be."

I smiled and shook my head.

"What if she and her ex don't get back together?"

"They will. At least, I think so. Either way, I'm sure I won't have any more trouble from her."

"How can you be so sure? This is Earth, the human world. And humans can be quite nasty. I don't think you realize how few happy endings there really are around here."

"Then we'll just have to make a few extra ones ourselves, won't we?"

"I like your optimism, but you need a dose of realism too."

We stayed in the embrace, silent for a while. Then I said, "Just for your peace of mind, there is nothing that would make me betray you. I don't want anything besides you. My eyes won't wander; my heart won't falter. I can't promise I'll never hurt you, but I'll never want to. And I can promise that I'll be faithful to you and love you until I die."

She sighed. "You're making me cry," she said with a little breathy laugh. She kissed my face and stroked my hair. "If we had the ring now and a witness, I think we'd be married... you just said some beautiful vows."

"Might as well count this as my official vows, then... since I'm sure I won't be able to come up with anything on the wedding day."

"Write them down. You can recycle them. How's that journal of yours coming?"

"Good. You can read it, of course."

"Can I? Not sure I'd want you reading some of mine. Haven't kept a diary since I came here, though."

Pete poked his head out the door. "Dinner's ready," he reported.

"Okay," said Rose. She gave me a searching look. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, fine."

"Really, though."

I kissed her forehead. "I do feel a bit violated, but it's not the first time someone's stolen a kiss. Long as you're not cross with me, I'm fine."

"Who else—"

"I'll catalog them for you later. Right now we're late for dinner."

* * *

So much had happened that day that I found it difficult to disengage my brain and get to sleep. Truth be told, I was also a little excited for the party the next day. I knew that there would be cake and gifts and visitors. Beyond that, I wasn't sure. It must have been one a.m. when I dozed off, but I still woke up about seven. I didn't feel tired, though. Maybe my human side had finally caught up on sleep and I wasn't going to need as much now.

I got up and put on my Superman tee shirt and my favorite jeans. Rose spotted me in the hall when I came out.

"No, no, no, go back to bed," she told me.

"But I'm not sick," I protested, suddenly feeling a little less jolly for being turned away.

"We made you breakfast and we're gonna bring it to you." She came over and kissed my cheek. "Happy birthday. Now, back to bed."

"Well... all right."

I felt weird, going back to bed in my clothes. But after a couple of minutes it seemed fun in a really odd way. I propped up my pillows and sat there wondering what else Rose had planned for me. Then she came in with a tray and a large blue gift bag.

"Good morning, your lordship," she said, setting the bag down and bringing the tray over.

"What's in the bag?"

"Breakfast first," she said strictly. When the tray was in position she lifted a silver cover to reveal a beautiful mass of bacon and eggs and a thick slice of banana bread.

"You know I can't eat this much," I said, smiling all the same.

"I might be persuaded to help you a little." She crawled onto the bed next to me.

I wasn't sure what I thought about that, but nothing too cavalier could happen, considering the tray over my middle. Besides, it was my birthday. Special occasion, special rules. Granted, this was the first time I'd thought of my birthday as a special occasion. I'd had so many of them. It was hard to keep track sometimes.

Rose nicked a strip of bacon off my tray and nibbled it. "So, we have about eight people coming for sure, and another half dozen that might show. And _another_ half dozen that we invited to be polite, even though we know they won't come."

"Who's coming for sure?"

"Well, there's that physicist of yours and his son..."

"Oh, and I invited an intern as well. She said she'd come."

"Not the one who harassed you?"

"No!" I chuckled. "This is Maggie. She was very helpful when I was trying to figure everything out yesterday."

"Is she pretty?"

"I dunno. Didn't notice."

"Aw." She put her arm around me.

I felt good now, but I was getting full. "Jackie's not going to be insulted if I don't finish, is she?"

"Nah. Here, give me some eggs."

I fed her a bite.

"Mm. Anyway, Dad invited his VP and he'll bring his wife. And I think there's one or two others from the company that might come. And there's a guy or two from dad's bowling gang. Mum's invited the neighbors. Mrs. Harris will certainly come; she might bring her daughter. And Mr. Embry said he'd come too—that was a surprise."

"Who's Mr. Embry?"

"He's the independently wealthy old man who lives south of us; he owns the property with the weeping willow."

"Oh! Good, I'd like to meet him." We continued working away at my plate of food until it was nearly gone. "Can't eat another bite," I said.

"Neither can I." Rose set the tray on the bureau.

"Now may I see what's in the bag?"

"Yes." She grinned as she went to the bag and reached into it. "Ready?"

"Ready."

She pulled out something big and brown. I'm sure it must have been fun for her, watching my face become more and more excited as I realized what it was.

"It's my coat!"

"It's not exactly like the old one... but it's as close as I could find. I think it's a little shorter."

I climbed out of bed and tried the coat on. "Oh, this feels good." I hugged her tightly and we turned a little circle together. "Thank you so much. It's perfect."

"Good, I'm glad. You can come out and see Mum and Dad now."

"Oh, I'm not under room-arrest anymore?" I teased.

She wouldn't let me carry the tray down to the kitchen. Apparently I wasn't allowed to do any work on my birthday, no matter how unchivalrous it made me look.

Jackie rushed me when I got into the room, shoving a large box at me. "Happy birthday, plum."

Apparently that was my nickname now. I wouldn't take it from anyone else, but I found I didn't mind it from her.

"Thank you," I said, taking the box and setting it on the table to lift the lid off. Inside was a new brown pinstriped suit. "Oh, just like the old one," I said smiling fondly at her. I still wasn't sure I was ready to wear the brown again, but it was sort of comforting to see it.

"I missed it," Jackie said with a laugh. "And you don't get to pay me back for that one—it's a gift."

"Okay. Thanks so much."

"Here's mine," Pete said, offering me a package which seemed to say "book" to me before I so much as touched it.

Sure enough, it was a book called _Modern London: a Guide and History._ "This will help a lot," I said. "Thanks, Pete."

"Can't have you ignorant of current affairs," Pete said.

"Where's Tony?" I asked, looking around.

"With any luck, he won't be up for another hour at least," said Jackie. "I just put him back to bed."

"Will he be up for the party?"

"I was trying to time his naps so he'd sleep through most of it."

"Oh, don't do that," I appealed. "I'd like to have him around."

"Well... if you're sure."

"Absolutely. I can help look after him." To be honest I was a bit apprehensive of all the people I'd be meeting. I wanted to make a good impression and not embarrass Rose in front of her neighbors. I'd probably be safer with a baby to hide behind.

"All right. Pete, you'd better get to the lawn."

"Yup," Pete said, heading for the door.

"The lawn?" I asked.

"Making sure there's no twigs and things," Rose explained. "It was windy last night."

"I can give him a hand—"

"No you don't. You're not doing anything useful today. I insist."

I sighed. "Very well."

I spent the morning writing in my diary and reading my new book. I sat in a recliner in the living room and Jackie brought me tea whenever I ran out. Of course that meant I made several trips to the loo as well. But it was a very peaceful morning. Rose came by to give me kisses and pet my hair now and then—she never seemed to get tired of that. I started catching appetizing scents wafting in from the kitchen. Rose brought out a chocolate-dipped strawberry and fed it to me.

"That is nice," I said, savoring the combination of sweet and tart.

"Don't tell Mum. She said not to touch them."

I laughed. "Won't breathe a word."

"The guests will start arriving any time. You ready?"

"I dunno. I've never done this before."

"You'll be fine. Come on."

* * *

Jackie had a beautiful spread of hors d'eouvres laid out by the time Mr. Embry arrived at one o'clock on the dot. He handed off an envelope and small box to Jackie and she set them aside to be opened later. I loaded a little plate with cheese and fruit dipped in the chocolate fountain and a few crackers with some unknown patte of Jackie's invention. I still wasn't sure what the latter was after I tried it, but I liked it.

Mr. Embry put a few things on his plate as well, but it may have been just to be polite. He didn't look interested in eating them.

"So, you're in Pete's business?" he asked me.

"No; I work at Icsos, in the city."

"But you're a businessman?"

I shook my head. "No. As a matter of fact, I have nightmares about ledgers and tax documents."

For the first time since his arrival, Embry cracked a smile. He ate a cheese cube, which I took to be a good sign.

Maggie showed up next.

"She _is _pretty," Rose whispered to me in an accusatory tone as Jackie welcomed her in and relieved her of her gift.

"If you say so," I whispered back. I introduced Maggie to everyone.

Before things could get too quiet and awkward, the neighbor called Anna Harris arrived with her daughter, Jane. Anna and Jackie seemed to be good friends. Jane wasted no time beginning a series of experiments with the chocolate fountain. I watched her with an involuntary smile growing on my face.

Next came Dr. Frasier and Robert. Of course, Jackie had to go and embarrass Robert and me both by telling everyone I'd saved his life. Then Frasier and I had to relate the story.

"Were you scared?" Jane asked Robert.

"I was," I put in. "But Robert kept his head and we got out of it together, didn't we?"

Robert nodded, looking relieved at not having to answer the question himself.

"I've got to set something up in the yard," Pete said mysteriously. "Would you kids like to come along?"

Robert and Jane liked the idea of going outside, and their parents allowed Pete to take them out.

"What's that about?" I asked Rose.

"Oh, just something for later."

I was suspicious, but I knew I wasn't going to get a straight answer so I let it go for the time-being.

Not long after I could hear a dull thumping, like something being hammered with a wooden mallet. _Tent pegs?_ I wondered. Then we heard Pete's bowling mates arrive. They stayed outside talking boisterously with Pete for a while before coming in. There were Mike and Stan who arrived first, and a fellow named John came a little later with his wife Miah; they lived nearby. Pete's VP, Jim Coleman, and his wife Ellen were fashionably late... after two o'clock. No one from the maybe list came, and I didn't mind at all. There were ten guests if you counted the children.

Tony woke up when the last guests arrived, and he was not happy at all the noise. But once he was up and dressed he became more cheerful.

"Well, Doctor," Jackie said, "now everyone's here, do you want to have cake first, or open your gifts?"

I had completely forgotten the cake, and now I wished I hadn't eaten so much cheese. "How about if you serve up everyone else's cake and they can eat while I open the gifts?" I suggested. "I'm not ready to eat more right now, and let's be honest: it's no fun sitting round with nothing to do while someone else enjoys himself."

Some of the others claimed that they would be quite entertained watching me open gifts, but I insisted. And sure enough, the whole anything-within-reason-on-your-birthday thing seemed to hold true, because they complied and did as I said. I decided that all emergencies should happen on my birthday, because then everyone would listen to me instead of panicking.

As I made myself comfortable on the couch while Jackie brought the gifts into the living room, Maggie said, "I'm afraid my gift's a bit of a cop-out. I didn't know what to get you."

"In that case," Embry put in, "it will probably go well with my gift."

"Oh, don't be silly," I said. "I can't wait."

Maggie's gift turned out to be a tie. It was blue silk with a subtle swirling pattern of darker blue and silver. "It's lovely," I said. "I can always use another tie." Now I would have to alter my rotation if I still wanted to wear one tie each working day and none on the weekend. One tie would be left over for the next week. _Oh well... figure that out later._

Frasier and Robert gave me cufflinks with the Superman emblem on them. "That is brilliant," I exclaimed. "Robert, was this your idea?"

"We picked them out together," said Frasier. "It seemed... appropriate."

"Well, it's great. Now I need some formal occasion to go to so I can try them out."

I noticed that Tony was getting very jealous watching me tear the bright paper, so I handed a large piece of the wrapping to him. He garbled happily and began tearing it up.

"He'll be putting it in his mouth in a moment," Jackie cautioned. "Keep an eye on him, Rose."

Next I delved into Mrs. Harris's gift bag. "What's this?" I said, pulling out a book.

"Jackie told me you like books. That's one I enjoyed reading. She says you like sciency, supernatural stuff."

_The Time Traveler's Wife._ I stared at the cover for several seconds before I remembered everyone was watching me and waiting for my reaction. "Well, I think this is one Rose and I will have to read together. Thank you."

Jackie started to hand me a long, cylindrical package, but John exclaimed, "No, that's mine—it's gotta be last."

"Oh. Well, pardon me." Jackie set that one down and gave me the envelope and small box that Embry had brought.

The card in the envelope was a simple one with a short "Best wishes on your birthday" inscribed by hand. Inside the box was a small silver tiepin. "Isn't that nice," I said, holding the pin out in front of me so I could look at it better. My glasses were in my bedroom, so it was hard to make out the delicate relief on the surface. "It's a tree, isn't it?"

"Yes. Not a weeping willow, but a pretty tree all the same," Embry replied.

I wondered if he knew I'd been on his property without permission. I'd have to talk to him about that later.

"And it _will_ go nicely with my gift," Maggie said. "You must have a sixth sense, Mr. Embry."

Embry shook his head. "The thing women usually get, when they don't know what to give a man, is a tie. It was an educated guess."

"Well, I like them both very much," I said. "I'll wear them together on Monday." I reached out to take another envelope from Jackie.

"And speaking of cop-out gifts," said Mike.

"Yeah, me too," said Stan.

Inside the envelope was something that looked like a credit card only it had a picture of a lavishly wrapped present on it. "Thanks..." I looked to Rose for help.

"It's a gift certificate," Rose explained. "You can spend it like cash at the shop."

"Oh, brilliant. That'll come in useful. Thank you."

Stan's gift was another certificate, to a different store.

"Yeah, we might o' done last-minute shopping together," Mike confessed.

"That's all right. I just get to choose my own gift."

"All right, time for mine," said John.

Miah shook her head. "Calm down, will you? Men."

I couldn't help grinning. John's enthusiasm was contagious. And as soon as I took the gift in my hands, I got a strong suspicion of what it was. "Oh..." I said, frantically beginning to tear the paper. "Is it... oh, it is!" I cast the paper aside. "It's a cricket bat! How did you know?"

"Oh, someone told me you like cricket," said Pete. "And I might have passed it on. We can't let you try it until we've had a round of croquet, though. The kids helped me set up the course."

That explained the pounding with the wooden mallet. "Right. That's fine." I ran my hands over the smooth wood and then gripped the handle tightly. "Lord, I haven't played cricket in... over a century."

Everyone laughed, and I realized most of them thought I was joking. _Let them laugh. I'll slaughter them._ This thought was a little uncharacteristic of myself, and I nearly giggled out loud, but I managed to keep it in. Rose saw my odd expression and raised one eyebrow at me, but I just shook my head.

"Let's clear up the wrapping paper," Jackie said. "Doctor, I'll get your cake now. Then we'll all go outside."

* * *

_This is getting quite long enough for one chapter, so you'll just have to wait for the rest of the party. Don't forget to review. ^^ And don't forget David Tennant's birthday is on April 18th. xD  
_


	13. Gag Gift

_As always, thanks for reviewing! ^^ I had a lot of fun researching cricket for this chapter. From what I found out, it sounds much easier to understand than baseball! If I got any details wrong, I apologize.  
_

* * *

This New Life

Chapter Thirteen: Gag Gift

* * *

The croquet game was long and eventful. I wasn't very practiced at it, but my knowledge of physics stood me in good stead. The children seemed more interested in hitting one another's croquet balls and "sending" them as far as they could rather than winning the game. Mr. Embry took the lead early on, but once he passed the halfway point I started gaining on him. Pete, Rose and two of the bowling friends muddled along in the middle, and the children trailed behind. We gave up trying to count turns for Jane and Robert, instead letting them just take turns between the two of them.

Embry finished just two turns ahead of me and Jackie pinned a ribbon on his jacket for first prize. We kept playing until I'd come in second and Jackie third; then Pete declared that he'd had enough.

"Time for cricket," said John, rubbing his hands eagerly.

"That's my cue to take Tony inside," said Jackie. "Anyone's welcome to join me for a cup of tea."

Ellen, Miah, Anna and Jane all opted to go inside.

"Typical," said John. "The womenfolk don't appreciate real sports."

"Oi, we're standing right here," Rose snapped, meaning herself and Maggie. "See if I cheer for you."

Embry went to stand by her. "I'm a bit old for cricket. I'll watch with you."

"The Doctor should be a team captain," said Pete, "since it's his birthday. And John, you ought to be the other, since you're the instigator here."

"How will we play with just four people per team?" asked Robert.

"I've got that worked out," said John. "This section of the lawn from that flower bed over there, to the drive on that side, up to that little hedge is the infield and there's no outfield. The boundary is the area a ten-foot width around it. If the ball lands beyond the boundary, the batsman is dismissed."

"In other words, short strikes so the fielders have a chance," I explained.

"All right," said Robert. "May I be on your team?"

"I was going to pick you first," I said. And it was true. Call me conceited, but I was confident that my team would win, no matter who my teammates were. Perhaps it had been a long time since I played, but I knew it would come right back.

"I'll take Pete, then," said John.

"Oh-oh," said Pete, "Rose won't know who to cheer for."

"It's an easy choice," Rose contradicted. "The birthday boy."

I flashed my eyebrows cheekily and she gave me a grin.

I got Robert, Frasier, and Mike on my team, and John had Pete, Stan and Jim the VP.

"Preps against Jocks, as usual," I quipped.

Rose looked back and forth between the two teams. "Wait... which is which?"

"We're the jocks," John said instantly.

"Oh, okay. Thanks for clearing that up."

Pete spray-painted some white lines in the grass and set up the wickets. "Shoddy little pitch, but it'll do," he muttered.

"You drew it crooked," Rose called out.

"Oh, hush."

"We'll bat first," I said. Then, realizing I might have sounded bossy, I added, "If that's all right. Oh, and one more thing: no body shots, eh? Don't want any injuries on my birthday."

"What's the fun of that?" asked Mike. "Man up, mate!"

"Well, Robert's playing," I pointed out. I lowered my voice. "Otherwise, my first strategy would be to take out the opposing captain's kneecaps."

Mike's eyebrows shot up and he laughed loudly.

"What's so funny?" asked John.

"Nothing... nothing."

"Do we have an over limit?" asked Pete.

"You'd better," I said, and I couldn't keep a smug little laugh from coming out.

Rose gave me an odd look. She'd never seen me like this.

"Limit of four overs per innings, since there's four on a team?" John suggested. "Can't imagine any one batsman standing that long..."

I snorted.

Slowly, all eyes turned toward me and then looked away again, pretending they hadn't.

Pete nodded. "And how many innings?"

"Oh... just one per side, don't you think?"

I contained myself. Barely.

"All right, who's bowling first?"

"You go ahead. I'll field this side and Stan can catch behind and Jim can field the other side. Who's to bat?"

"Doctor Frasier," I said, "why don't you and Mike bat first?" I handed my bat to him.

Frasier took the bat. "All right. Haven't played for some time, though."

"Oh, don't worry. You'll be fine."

Pete bowled toward Mike first. I sat on the grass with Robert and we cheered our teammates on. Mike scored a run and then Frasier fended off two bowls before being dismissed.

"Would you like to go in next?" I asked.

Robert shook his head. "All right. I'll see you when Mike goes out."

Pete had completed his over and John took over bowling. I could tell he had no intention of going easy on me, and I was fine with that.

I blocked his first bowl and sent the ball onto the left side of the infield, which Stan was manning. "Yes!" I shouted to Mike, and we took off for opposite ends of the pitch. When we were both safe behind the creases I took a quick look and saw that Stan hadn't managed to retrieve the ball yet. I called "Again" to Mike and we successfully made another run before Stan could get the ball to the wicket.

I heard both Rose and Robert cheering and I felt elated. Since we had made two runs, I was back where I started and John bowled toward me again. I managed to repeat the performance five times, making two runs each time. Then it was Stan's turn to bowl, and John manned the left infield. This arrangement gave me pause because I could tell that John was the most experienced player present, besides myself. Perhaps I should try to hit to the right (which was slightly more difficult for me) where Jim was fielding.

I was so undecided that I told Mike "no" after the first hit, even though we might have made it. The next time we did run, but only once. I didn't like that—it put Mike on strike. But it couldn't be helped. I did need for Mike to get dismissed anyway, in order to play with Robert. Mike surprised me, though. His first strike slipped past Jim and rolled into our boundary zone. Our team was awarded four runs, bringing our score up to eighteen. We were doing well.

"May I have a word with my batsman?" I asked the others. They agreed, so I took Robert aside. "Stan will bowl toward you, since you're taking Mike's place. Do you feel confident calling the run?"

Robert shook his head. "I'm not very good at knowing whether it's safe."

"Let me call it then. We'll make just one run to get me on strike again. After that, every time I say yes it means we're doing two runs, so just start the second as soon as you complete the first. Got that?"

"Okay." He looked happy.

"Good. Let's go."

We got lucky on the first bowl. Robert blocked the ball as if he were afraid it would hit him, and it fell short on John's side. I called "yes" to him and we hastily changed sides.

"Well done," I said. Then I cracked my knuckles. Time to get down to business.

I hit Stan's next bowl into the right infield, but I knew we wouldn't have time to make two runs, so I just shook my head at Robert and he stayed behind his crease. The next time I hit it further, and we tore across the pitch. When I reached the far side I turned and waited a moment for Robert to reach the safe ground before I started running again. He turned immediately as I had told him and we passed each other a second time. We were both safe before Jim got the ball back to the pitch.

Everyone clapped for us that time, even the opposing team. They knew a good play when they saw one. We were at twenty-one runs now, and only Jim had yet to bowl. Jim, as it turned out, was better at bowling than he was at fielding. But not by much. Robert and I repeated the two-run stunt four times, only sitting one strike out. Twenty-nine runs. Then I channeled all my concentration for Jim's final bowl.

It was as if the little sphere flew in slow-motion. My brain was calculating too quickly for my conscious thought to follow it. My bat connected with the ball and it sailed away from me, like a magnet flying from like polarity. Everything went silent... then the ball plopped on the ground in the boundary zone, rolled about two feet and stopped.

"Good God," John exclaimed, and I shot him a reproachful look for Robert's sake. "What a strike!"

"That puts us at thirty-five runs!" Mike crowed. "Care to forfeit now, before you disgrace yourselves?"

"Oh, shut up, Mike," said Stan. "You only scored five of those, and Robert one. The Rest were all the Doctor's."

"You ought to play for England," John told me.

"What? Nonsense," I said.

"No, but really. How long since you last played?"

"Er... I don't remember exactly. Many years."

John shook his head. "Well... s'pose it's time to change places. Come on, mates."

I let everyone else bowl before me to give the other team a chance. Thanks to some sub-standard work on their part, John's team got in seventeen runs before my turn to bowl. But once I was bowling John got four runs for the ball rolling into the boundary, and after that no one scored more. We won thirty-five to twenty-one.

"A sound victory," Rose declared. "I got some great pictures on my phone."

"Oh, you didn't!" I exclaimed.

"I want to see," said Robert.

To my chagrin, Rose happily showed the pictures to the others.

"I need some water," Robert said after looking at the pictures.

"Good idea," I answered. "Let's all go in and relax."

"Better go in the back and wash up," said Rose. "Mum'll have a fit if you all troop in hot and sweaty like that."

* * *

Most of the guests left soon after the cricket game ended. Robert gave me a hug and told me I was the best cricketer he knew. John vowed to beat me when he found "a decent team."

I got my glasses from my room and took a closer look at my gifts while the remaining guests—Maggie, Embry, Jim and Ellen—sat and chatted with Rose and Jackie. Pete was tidying up the yard from the games. Tony sat on the floor with a few toys. He was less interested in them than he was attempting to climb the legs of the people sitting around him.

"Mr. Embry," I said slowly as I examined his gift, "this tie pin looks quite old. In a good way," I added quickly.

"It was my father's, as a matter of fact," Embry answered.

I looked at him in surprise. "Are you sure you want to part with it? If it's special to you..."

"I have other keepsakes to remember him by. But I have no children; when I'm gone, they won't mean anything to anyone. I may as well pass some of them on to others before that time comes. Allow new memories to be built around them."

"Well, I... I'm very honored, sir."

Suddenly, Jackie exclaimed "Tony!" and lurched toward the baby.

I heard the too-familiar sound like something being uncapped over and over: a baby's labored cough.

Jackie picked Tony up and started patting his back.

"Don't. Jackie, don't do that. Give him to me."

I realized that a mother whose young is threatened has an instinct not to let others near him. Yet my strong tone must have gotten through to her, because she handed him over to me and then looked on in fear, hands partially covering her face.

"Come on, Tony boy," I said softly, turning him face down on the length of my arm and supporting his head with my hand. I used my free hand to probe his mouth. Soon I felt something small and soggy that was definitely foreign to his throat. "Okay, hold on." He was barely managing to gag now, and I knew I had no time to lose. I slipped my thumb and forefinger in to grasp the object and slowly pulled it out.

Tony managed a proper gag at last and deposited a little puddle of white liquid on the floor. Then he began crying loudly. I gave him back to Jackie. "He'll be all right now."

"Oh, sweetheart," Jackie crooned, holding Tony close and rocking him. "Poor baby."

I turned to Maggie. "Could you fetch some paper towels from the kitchen?"

"Yes, of course," Maggie said, snapping into motion as if coming out of a trance.

"That was quick thinking," Jim said.

"What did he choke on?" asked Ellen.

"Looks like a bit of wrapping off one of the gifts," I said, looking at the sodden scrap in my hand.

"It's my fault," said Rose. "I should have made a better check under the furniture."

"No, it's no one's fault. Tony's just curious is all. We'd all do well to pay him a little more attention."

Maggie returned with the paper towels and Rose cleaned up the mess.

"We should probably go," Ellen said. "Tony will calm down sooner if he's just got his family around."

Maggie and Embry agreed.

"Thank you so much for coming," I said. "It was a lovely birthday."

"I'll see you on Monday," Maggie told me.

As I saw the guests to the door, Embry said, "Walk me to my car, Doctor?"

"All right." I called back to Rose, "Just stepping out for a minute. Won't be two ticks."

"You're quite a hero, Doctor," Embry remarked once we were outside. "You've saved two little boys in the space of a week."

"Well... right place at the right time. Anyone would have done the same."

"I'm not sure someone else _could_ have done the same. A skeptic might think you arranged the danger so you could save them and achieve glory and fame."

I sniffed. "A skeptic might find himself taking back his heirloom birthday gift."

Embry chuckled. "I don't believe that you arranged either incident," he said. "Aside from your behavior on the cricket field, you're one of the most modest people I've met in a long, long time."

We reached Embry's car and halted. Pete gave us a wave on his way up to the house.

"I saw you last week," Embry said. "On my upper property, by the willow tree. Having a picnic."

"Yes... s'pose we ought to have asked permission first."

"I recognized Jackie Tyler. Didn't know whether to intrude or not. But you were starting to clear your things up, so I just watched. I've never seen someone take so much care to be sure he left nothing behind—unless it was someone trying to erase criminal evidence. But you didn't have that air about you. You looked as if you wanted to take care of the land and the tree, and to leave the place in the state that you found it."

I nodded.

"So few people give a damn about anything anymore," he went on. "That's why I've held onto that bit of land for so long. Don't trust anyone else with it."

"Rose told me that Pete made you an offer, but you wouldn't hear of selling."

"I wouldn't hear of selling _to him,"_ Embry corrected. "Don't misunderstand me: I have nothing against him personally. But Pete Tyler is a businessman, and he always will be. No matter how good his intentions, one day he'd see an opportunity, get a good enough offer... and then he'd subdivide that land, have the tree cut down, turn it all into flats or something. Well. Not while I'm alive."

I thought perhaps he judged Pete too harshly, but I kept quiet.

"That's why I was so pleased to learn that you are _not_ a businessman. Finally, someone bright and sensible who isn't less concerned with turning soil than he is with turning a profit. I see in you someone who knows how to work land—to work _with_ it. Someone who appreciates the beauty of nature and respects things as God intended them."

I wanted to ask him where this was going, but I guessed that he would wind up soon, and I didn't have long to wait.

"As I told you, I don't have children to leave any legacy to. My wife's long dead, and I don't care for my remaining relations. I know you haven't lived in this area long, but if ever you take it into your head to buy a piece of land, you come talk to me first. You hear?"

My heart melted. I looked at that man with his snow-white hair and his sun-mottled skin and his aged eyes, and I loved him. "I most certainly will, Mr. Embry." I shook his hand.

He gave a decisive nod. "Good." He opened his car door. "It was a pleasure meeting you. Happy birthday."

I nearly said "And to you, too," but then I remembered that that wasn't the sort of thing you said on a birthday. "Thank you. The pleasure was mine," I managed.

* * *

_OH! The chapter title was a trick! xD Did I take you by surprise? Leave a review. ^^  
_


	14. Night Visitor

_I took a little time to write a chapter on my Sherlock/Torchwood story "Four Walls May Make a House But it Takes Hart to Make a Holmes" which I've nicknamed H&H for short. :p Check it out._

_For those of you who would like to understand the game of cricket try en dot wikipedia dot org/wiki/Cricket_

_Thanks for all your reviews. ^^ Now, on with the show!_

* * *

This New Life

Chapter Fourteen: Night Visitor

* * *

"I _knew_," Jackie kept saying. "I _knew_ patting him on the back wasn't the right thing to do. What did I do that for?"

"You panicked, Mum," Rose answered. "We all did."

"We're just lucky the Doctor didn't," Pete concluded, gently rocking the sleeping Tony in his arms.

"Jackie," I said, "I don't suppose you have a doll in the house?"

"A doll? I don't think so," she answered. "Why?"

"Because I think we should all practice some baby emergencies to make sure none of us panics if something like this happens again."

"Tony's got a teddy bear. We could use that."

Rose smirked. "Are you going to make me perform CPR on a teddy?"

"Are you going to give me trouble about it?" I asked.

She sobered at my expression.

"It can wait till tomorrow, though. I'm pretty tired out."

* * *

We had a light soup and salad supper. Then I took my journal to bed to do some writing. Rose knocked on my door before I'd gotten very far.

"Okay if I come in?"

"Of course," I said, starting to set my book aside.

"Oh, you don't have to stop. I just wanted to be with you." She closed the door behind her and approached.

I made room for her and propped the extra pillow up for her to lean on. I needed to be careful—I had just reawakened my sexual awareness a few days ago, and while it was by no means rampant, it still seemed a little too... interested. _Go back to sleep,_ I told it.

Rose curled up next to me. "All right if I read what you're writing?"

"If you like." It was a little hard to concentrate with her right there, but eventually I was able to relax and get back into my memories. I had written nearly all I could remember about Lungbarrow, and I was just starting to write about my exploration of the surrounding lands and people I met from outside my house.

"Did you like the party?"

"I did; thanks." I finished writing a sentence and smiled at her. "Nicest birthday party I've ever had."

"Is it the only one you've ever had?"

"Maybe..." I went back to writing.

After a while, Rose asked, "Who's Koschei? Another Timelord?"

"Yes. We were friends."

"You never told me much about your old friends."

"You never asked. Just assumed I was friendless, didn't you?" I nudged her with my elbow. _Hm... thought I told you to go back to sleep._

"Oh, I'm sure you must have had lots of friends." She leaned her head on my shoulder.

"Not really, no," I admitted. "There were several casual friends that I occasionally did things with. But as for close friends... just Koschei."

"Were you best mates, then?"

"More or less. He's the friend I told you about before. The one I got in trouble with."

"Oh, right." She fell silent and watched me write for a while.

I finished writing an anecdote and passed the book to her. "My hand's tired. I'll stop there for the night."

I noticed Rose had somehow gotten all nestled up against me when I wasn't paying attention. My instincts and my emotions started having a little argument. While they were busy, I leaned over to kiss Rose's forehead and lean my head on hers. _I'm being careful,_ I told myself.

Rose turned back to the beginning of the anecdote and began reading silently. After a while, she gave a little gasp.

"What?" I asked.

"You really _were _naughty children. You really threw stones at people?"

"Stones, twigs, pig bear dung..."

"What's a pig bear?"

"Well, it's a..." I frowned. "It's sort of like a big smelly striped bear with a pig-like snout."

"Sounds charming. So you made yourself a blind on a ledge over a road and threw things at people. That was your idea of a fun day?"

"_A_ fun day... yeah. But we did loads of other things, too. This was just one incident."

"You really don't seem like the dung-slinging type."

"Children do all sorts of things that they'd never do when they grew up. I daresay you did some strange things as a child."

"I suppose." She read on and then gasped again.

I pressed my face against hers to follow her gaze and see where she was on the page.

"You were just children," Rose said, aghast. "Why such a severe punishment?"

"Throwing things at the Lord High Chancellor is... well, it's treated like an assassination attempt. It's unacceptable behavior, no matter how young the offender is."

"How old were you?"

"Seven, I think. It was shortly before we went to the Academy. We were famous for it when we got there."

"Beating seven-year-olds in public... that's horrid."

"A seven-year-old Timelord is a bit more responsible for his actions than a seven-year-old human is."

"I don't care. You don't put little children on display for corporal punishment."

I made a mental note in case Rose and I had children one day: punishments should be carried out in private.

"Your friend was very brave."

I smiled a little. "Well, the whole thing was his idea. I think he knew he owed me." I could still remember Koschei kicking up a huge fuss, shouting insults at the officials carrying out our sentence, drawing a more severe punishment on himself so they would go easy on me for keeping quiet and looking ashamed. "After that, he always looked out for me. When you do something stupid with someone and then get a nasty punishment for it with them, you sort of have to come out mortal enemies or good friends. We avoided each other for a while, since our house patrons had forbidden us to see each other, but as soon as we got to the Academy, we were thick as thieves again."

Rose set the book on the bedside table and put her arm around me. "I wish I could have met him."

That produced some very mixed feelings. If she could have met the old Koschei... that might have been fun. But I was very grateful that Rose had never met the Master. I kissed her head again.

She kissed my neck then. _Eek._ I smiled a little. _Yup, getting caught off guard. Need to put a stop to this._

"Do you want me to stay with you?"

_Yes. No. Yes. Yes, definitely._

"Just... to sleep," she added, nestling in closer.

What if Jackie saw Rose coming out of my room in the morning? It wouldn't matter if "nothing happened." She would assume that it had. Why else would Rose stay in my room? That's what people do, right? That's what humans do, anyway. And even if Jackie didn't care what we did, I didn't want her making assumptions. I didn't want her giving us knowing glances. That would be awful. And even if I didn't care what anyone else thought... I wasn't completely sure that nothing _would _happen. And I wasn't ready for that. Not nearly.

"I don't think we better had," I said. "I love having you close to me, but... I just want to be very careful. Don't want to rush."

"Okay." She caressed me gently and I twitched when her fingers brushed over my chest.

"And... while we're on the subject," I said, taking her hand to stop its motion, "there are a couple of things you ought to know about Timelords. Well, in this case, Timelord-human meta crises."

"Kay..."

"I thought it might change now that I haven't got two hearts... but apparently it hasn't. See, um..." I concentrated, trying to think of the best way to explain without disturbing her. What if this was a little too alien for her?

"It's all right," she said softly, giving my hand a squeeze.

I took her encouragement to heart and plunged ahead. "Timelords are very sensitive in the chest area. More than human men are."

"Oh."

"So, I'd appreciate it if you kept that in mind."

"Yeah... sorry."

"It's fine. I just wanted you to know."

"Mhm. It's... good to know."

I glanced sidelong at her and could practically see the cogs turning in her head... cranking out something like "So, I know how to turn him on now. Ha!"

"And... I'd rather no one else knew," I added.

"Of course."

There was a rather awkward silence. Then I gave myself a mental shove. _All right, don't let it stay awkward. _I turned toward Rose and pulled her against me. "Thank you," I said. She hugged me and I closed my eyes and focused on my other senses for a moment—the sound of her breathing, her scent, the way her warmth made me feel safe. "I'm an alien and you're so... patient with me."

She gave a little laugh. "Well, you're _my_ alien."

"Yes, ma'am," I said reverently. I kissed her cheek and whispered, "I love you."

"I love you so much. You sure I can't stay?"

I pulled back to smile down at her. "Mm-hm."

"Okay."

I kissed her mouth lightly. "Come on. I'll walk you to your room." It was a good strategy; it got her moving without my having to shove her out.

She gave me a rather more passionate kiss when we got to her door. My emotions tried to wander down the corridor that led to Evah, but they gave it up halfway. Was I getting better at this, or was it just time doing its work? Maybe it was both.

We said good night and I went back to my room feeling all-around good. It had been a full, happy day. Rose and I were making more confident strides together. And so far, I could still keep my libido in check. _So far,_ something inside me snarked. _Go back to sleep,_ I retorted.

* * *

I didn't know what woke me. It might have been a dream, but I didn't remember having one. Then again, my eyes, even lidded and asleep, might have detected the tiny red dot flitting around the wall and ceiling above me. It took me a while, but slowly I realized that it was a laser pointer coming through my window. It wasn't mounted on a gun that was poised to kill me, or it would have been trained on my body, I was sure. Instead it was flashing a rhythmic pattern.

Of all the codes and languages I knew, I started narrowing it down to the ones likely to be found on Earth at this time. It turned out to be one of the most simple: Morse.

_I...D...E... ...O...U...T...S...I...D...E... ...O_

So, something or someone was outside and I was obviously meant to go out. I slipped out of bed, wondering if I should take the time to get dressed. Whatever this was, I didn't fancy facing it in my pajamas. It seemed likely that it would wait until I was more or less ready. I shed the pajamas and pulled on a shirt, even bothering to slip the tie I had worn earlier over my head. I hadn't bothered to untie it, so it cost me only a few extra moments. then I donned the brown suit Jackie had given me, and the overcoat from Rose.

I felt a little more like my old self as I crept out of my room, even without my sonic screwdriver or psychic paper. My room was on the back side of the house, so I went out front, hoping to gain a slight advantage over whoever was luring me outside. I went around the perimeter of the backyard, outside the hedge.

A figure was standing in the moonlight, bold as brass in the middle of the back garden. It looked like a small man, or perhaps a boy, or even a tall woman. The long coat made it difficult to tell. I was able to creep up behind them within twenty feet or so. They had stopped sending the signal, so perhaps they knew I was no longer in my room. Perhaps they even knew I was standing behind them.

"Who are you?" I asked.

There was no jump of surprise, so I supposed the stranger at least suspected my movements, if not knew of them precisely. The figure turned, and I still couldn't make up my mind whether I was looking at a young man or a woman. The dark hair was short and spiked.

"You must be the Doctor." The American voice was deep for a woman, but rather high for a man. I still wasn't sure.

"You're one up on me." _Two, really... you know my gender, and I'm not sure of yours._

"You don't recognize me, do you?"

I came closer. Who could it possibly be? I didn't know anyone in this universe, did I? But that coat... World War II? That arm band... that stance. "Good heavens," I breathed. When I was close enough, I reached out to touch the young face and look into the glittering blue eyes. "Jack?"

"It's Jean here. Jeanette, really. But Jean is more... slick. Not my real name anyway, of course. But that doesn't matter. I hear I'm a man in the other universe. An immortal, no less. I don't know if I'm jealous or grateful that I'm different here."

"And you know me?"

"Only from Rose's descriptions. You _do_ have really great hair."

"Did she tell you I was here, then?"

"No. She thinks I still don't know. She's worried I'll dissect you or something."

"No point in that. Only one heart now. Nothing to see."

She looked me up and down. "Oh, I doubt _that."_

_Great. Same old Jack, but in a female body. _"What do you want?"

"I wasn't going to miss my old friend's birthday. Of course... to me, you're a new friend."

"Are we friends?" I asked. "You seem quite different in this universe. I'm not sure I like you. And I am sure I don't trust you."

"I hope that will change. I think we can be useful to each other."

"What age are you?" I asked bluntly.

"I'm twenty. I started consulting for Torchwood when I was ten. I was a child genius. Well, by human standards. I guess that probably doesn't impress you much."

"And now?"

"Now I run the place. Without me, there is no Torchwood."

"That sounds a bit vain."

"It's true. They'd be horribly crippled without me. There aren't enough people who understand the systems I have in place. There just aren't enough smart people who are also trustworthy, you know?"

"But you are?"

"I'm hoping you are."

I shook my head. "Rose won't let me near Torchwood, and I think it's for good reasons. I have a job now, and I like it. I just want to live my life in peace."

"A job? Seriously? Hen-pecked and absorbed by the rat race... you're not at all what Rose described."

"I've changed. I'm little more than an ordinary human now."

Jean folded her arms. "Maybe not. But I think you're selling yourself short. On purpose. Here—" she got out a card and held it out to me. "If you change your mind, or if you just need something..."

I pushed her hand away. "I won't, and I won't."

"Don't write me off so quickly, Doctor. There may come a time when you need help. It's good to have allies, and you have no one here. But there's me. Take it."

"I have Rose. And I have Pete and Jackie and Tony and my supervisors and colleagues. I've made many friends in just a couple of weeks. You have no grounds to say I have 'no one.'"

She smiled at me. "You're as stubborn as she said. Look, I'm not here to disturb you. I just wanted to wish you well and offer my friendship." She pulled open my overcoat and tucked the card into my breast pocket. "You keep that just in case." She patted the pocket and stepped by me. "Happy birthday. Oh, and by the way... I never cared much for cricket. But you sure know how to make it sexy."

I'm sure it was just what she wanted, but that comment made me wonder how long she had known about me, how long she'd been watching me, and just how much of my daily activity she could see.

* * *

The next morning during Tony's first nap, I drilled my human family in baby emergencies. We covered falls, wounds, choking, baby rescue breathing, baby CPR, and how to speak clearly and give only pertinent information to rescue workers. I really cracked down on Jackie on that last one. ("You're not giving an invitation to your social breakfast club, Jackie—your child is in _danger! _They can't help if you don't give them the facts. Now try again!") All in all, I think it went rather well.

Afterwards, Rose and I went out to the stream and sat under the trees. I knew I had to tell her about Jean. I'd promised her no secrets.

I plucked a purple lobelia flower and studied its long petals. "Rose... why is it you don't want me visiting Torchwood?"

I couldn't see her face, since she was leaning against my shoulder, and I hardly dared imagine what it looked like. I'd let my worry grow too much.

"I told you," she said. "You're an alien, and I've seen how Torchwood deals with them. Besides, I don't want anyone else in the family working there. I've thought I lost you so many times. I want to know that you're safe."

"Car accidents are a constant in big cities. You can't know I'm safe."

"London traffic is safer than Torchwood."

"That doesn't help me not worry about _you."_

"Well... it's temporary. I'll be done with them in a few months. Soon as I'm sure it's okay to leave."

I took her hand and stroked it. "Jean knows I'm here."

"What? How do you know about Jean?"

"She came here last night."

Rose pulled away enough to stare at my face. "She came to the house?"

"To the backyard. We had a little chat."

"What did she want?"

"A sort of a treaty I guess. 'You help me and I'll help you' sort of thing. And she said happy birthday."

"Did she threaten you?"

"No."

"Did she hit on you?"

"Not really. Not by Jack's standards, anyway."

"Hm." Rose sighed. "I thought I was so careful. She probably has a camera somewhere... at least one. Probably saw us arrive back here. I should have known."

"Why didn't you tell me about her?"

"Because I figured she was part of Torchwood and I could forget about her when I left. I didn't want you running off to meet her. Like you told Mickey and me when we first got here—gingerbread house. You know? Just another complication I didn't want."

"Anyone else I'd know from the other universe?"

"Not that I know of. That's the truth." She squeezed my hand. "Are you angry?"

"No. But I told you about her finding me and talking with me. I want that same kind of openness from you. Is that fair?"

"Yeah, it is. I'm glad you told me. Feel like marching down there and having it out right now..."

"Which is exactly why it's a good thing you won't go back to Torchwood until tomorrow," I interrupted. "Just be calm about it. There's no harm done. Myself, I'm a bit relieved. I don't think we need to worry about Torchwood swooping in and trying to take me away from you."

"Maybe not, but I don't trust her. She's too different from Jack."

"Come on. Let's forget about Jean." I got up and pulled Rose to her feet. "The stream's narrower now. Reckon we could jump across?"

"No," she said immediately. "Don't you try. You'll get soaking wet."

I was tempted to disregard her words, but she was probably right. It did look a little too wide. "All right, then. What you wanna do?"

"I don't care. Walk. Be with you." She looked like she wanted to say something else.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"What?"

She giggled and tugged me away from the stream. "Nothing. Let's just walk."

We walked and talked about unimportant things, and shared a quiet kiss far from the house. Then we went back in and played with Tony a while, had dinner in front of the telly and leftover birthday cake for dessert. I felt full and happy. I got my journal up to the middle of my years at the Academy before the words began to swim in front of my eyes. I set my mental alarm clock to make sure I'd wake in plenty of time to meet Jessica Miller at eight in the morning.

My dreams were a bit weird that night... Something about Jack and Jean Harkness locking me in my own Tardis and Rose trying to get in through a window... which was just silly, because the Tardis windows were too small for anyone to get through even if they opened, which they don't because even if they were meant to, they're not real... it's all part of the chameleon disguise. But other than that, I slept pretty well.

* * *

_xD Sweet dreams, Doctor. Hope you enjoyed the fluff. You could make a hundred sandwiches with it.  
_


	15. Official

_Thanks for the reviews. ^^ I would like to clarify that a "good job" review is better than no review, certainly. But if you can possibly spare a moment to elaborate, it's much more encouraging.  
_

* * *

This New Life

Chapter Fifteen: Official

* * *

While I went downtown on Monday morning and met with Jessica Miller to read her exclusive, Rose marched down to Torchwood and cornered Jean in her office. I got the full story from her much later when I was ready to set it down in my journal; until then she was a bit vague. But here's what happened.

Rose closed the door behind herself and turned to stare daggers at Jean. "Where is it?"

Jean raised her eyebrows in innocent surprise under her jagged bangs. "Where's what?"

"The bloody surveillance camera! I know you've got one on the estate—you've been watching us. _Where is it?!"_

Eyelashes fluttering, a tiny smile appearing, Jean got out from behind her desk and sat on the front of it. "My, Rose... I've never seen you so worked up. Has anyone told you how cute you are when you're mad?"

"I'm about to get bloody adorable, then. While I smash your head in. I'm not leaving till you tell me, so where is it?"

Jean pushed off the desk and moved just into the fringe of Rose's personal space bubble. "Is that a promise?"

"I'm about to slap you." But it was an empty threat. Any sort of physical contact at this point would only excite Jean further.

"I don't think I have to tell you where it is. After all, you didn't tell me the Doctor was here. You kept it from me. You actually had my people—people I trust and depend on—running errands for you. Making up false certificates and ID's... Did you really think I wouldn't find out? Sue me, I spied on you. It's no worse than you sneaking around behind my back. And for your information, there are three cameras on the estate. I was tempted to put one in your bedroom, but I held back."

"Did you put one in his?"

The smirk had grown to a full-blown grin now. "No. I wish. They're three lovely views. One of the backyard, one of the front yard, and one of the kitchen."

"The kitchen?"

"Best place for picking up information. Got sound with that one. Everything gets talked about in the kitchen. I know what you had for breakfast before you came here. Would you like to know how your parents' sex life is going?"

"Shut up!" Rose said abruptly. "You've violated my home. Haven't you done enough?"

"You violated my trust."

Rose told me later that she wanted very badly to tell Jean that there had never been trust between them—that she had seen Torchwood as a means of finding me again and that was all. But a revelation like that might get her retcon-ed, so she kept it to herself. "I think you're enjoying this. Tell me what you want, and what it'll take to get you to leave us alone."

Jean backed off, folding her arms and looking like she was reluctant to stop the argument. "Fine. All I want is for you to stay with Torchwood and for the Doctor to give us his input now and then. That's not so much to ask. You can have your privacy, and I won't try to steal your man. Though I wouldn't say no to a threesome if you ever get bored."

Rose grimaced. "Never gonna happen."

"Which part?"

"Any of it. I'm not staying with Torchwood, the Doctor doesn't have to do anything for you, and there will never... _ever_ be any threesome. Got that?"

"Be reasonable. You don't have to stay with us full time, and he can keep his cute little office job and everything—I'm just asking for occasional assistance. That's not too much, is it? Talk it over with him. See what he says."

"He already gave you his answer."

"But the two of you hadn't talked it over."

"Since he told you no and I'm telling you no, I don't think we need to."

"Don't make me fight dirty, Rose."

"What, you mean dirtier than suggesting a threesome with the man I'm going to marry?"

"Pah, that was me being friendly. You know that I'll do anything to stop threats to this planet. And you also know what I'll do to take advantage of any resource that can defend it. If you won't aid me willingly, I'll have to start working on your pressure points."

"So now it's come to threats."

"Hm. Threaten you or not use the best resources available and risk bad things happening to the planet... Yeah. Definitely willing to threaten you, and with damn good reason."

Rose could feel her face flushing with anger, her pulse beginning to pound.

"Look, I don't want this to get nasty—I really don't. We can all be calm and reasonable and get along. Just talk to him."

Giving in was the last thing she wanted to do... except start Jean on a personal vendetta. "Tell me where the cameras are, and I will."

"That's more like it."

* * *

I had little to add to Jessica's story, and nothing to take away from it. She had left out the things I had asked her to, and given it a favorable tone. She had managed to get quite a decent length out of the details I'd given her, too. I was impressed.

"It's been great working with you," she said.

"Well, I hope it's not necessary again," I replied.

As I reached the research center's doors, Gerry sort of ambushed me. He asked if he could have a word, and we walked a little way down the sidewalk.

"I know you'll want to know how things went with Eliza," he said. "So I thought I'd just tell you to begin with, and clear the air."

"You don't have to tell me anything you don't want to," I said, but I admit I was very curious.

"It was all right," he went on, not acknowledging my statement. "Not as bad as I feared. I think you were right in thinking that her actions last week were not representative of her true nature. I'm not sure I'd agree that she's desperate to have me back, but she is certainly interested in the idea. So... we're going to give it a few days and then talk again. See what happens."

I nodded. "That sounds like a mature approach."

"I'm glad you approve. For some reason I respect your opinion very much, even though we haven't known each other long."

"Got one of those faces," I said, indicating my face with a wave of my hand. "For some it commands respect, for others engenders trust... and for a few produces loathing, but still. One of those faces."

Gerry laughed. "I suppose that's it. Let's get inside before Dan and Simon decide we're not coming."

"Can't have that. They'll start doing the figures without me. That's my favorite part."

"Mine too... letting you do the figures so I don't have to."

So things were about back to normal at work. People had quit congratulating me about saving Robert, but Dan and Simon had heard about the cricket game and they wanted me to tell them all about it. Dan wanted me to get a match together with him and some other fellows. I told him I'd think about it. I needed to be careful how much attention I drew to myself. I'd already made myself too conspicuous to a lot of people.

When I got home, Rose told me the general idea of her conversation with Jean. We located the three cameras turned them off. We would properly uninstall them when Pete and Jackie had gone to bed and we could be sure not to be interrupted.

"She's just so... infuriating," Rose said, watching me climb a tree in the backyard to disable the last camera. "She's nothing like Jack. Well, okay, she's got his sexual appetite, which I find really disturbing in a woman."

"That's because you _are_ a woman," I said, holding on to the slender tree trunk and reaching up toward the compact little camera above me.

"I don't care. She's like Jack with none of his charm, none of his sweetness, none of his..."

"Dance moves?" I suggested.

Rose laughed a little. "I think I prefer Jack's seductive slow dance to Jean's jazz and improv."

"Jazz? Really. That must be interesting."

"She runs Torchwood like a spoilt child. She's got no restraint. And she doesn't know us, you and me. She's only got my word that we were friends, and she doesn't trust me. She doesn't trust anyone. It's worse than having no version of Jack at all."

"Well, don't let it upset you too much," I said, beginning my descent. "Things are bound to be very different here, and we can't go on comparing them to what we're used to. We just need to treat this like a complete new start. A new world to explore." I got clear of the lowest branches and dropped to the ground.

Rose put her arms around me and her head against my shoulder. "I'm so glad I've got you."

I smiled. "I'm glad, too."

* * *

After Rose took Jean my reply (that I would assist her if it was clearly in Earth's best interests and that Rose might as well, but she would by no means stay on full-time when we were married), the Torchwood leader left us pretty well alone, and things were quiet for a couple of weeks. Gerry and Eliza were back on comfortable speaking terms, and she and I quit having awkward eye contact.

The next thing worth noting is that I opened a bank account and paid Jackie back for the things she'd bought me. It felt strange, having a checkbook and a _budget—_such a domestic development. I was beginning to think about things like taxes and down payments and mortgages... strange, foreboding things. I could never make up my mind about this human life. Was I excited to finally be a part of Rose's world, or was I terrified of it, or was I bitter at losing my status above humans? Some days it didn't seem to matter in the slightest, and other days it upset me a great deal.

Rose grew stronger in those few weeks. She recognized that while she had to adjust to the new me and to come to terms with the knowledge that the old me was still in the other universe without her, I had to get used to not having the Tardis or my sonic screwdriver or psychic paper, and on top of that I had to adjust to human society and new responsibilities. We both had a hard time of it, but having each other made it infinitely better.

Jackie continued to gleefully supply me with ideas for making my formal proposal, but she agreed that ultimately it was up to me how I decided to do it and when. She gave me more and more space and respect as the days and weeks passed and I didn't do anything too _alien_ and Rose and I continued to not spend the night in each other's rooms.

Not to say that we had no physical contact. On the contrary, when we were alone it was a constant. There is something about touch that makes one feel exponentially safer. Holding Rose's hand was like plugging myself into a power charger; it made me feel ready for any task. Holding her in my arms reassured me that I could keep her from harm. Her soft kisses reminded me that I was loved in the measure that I loved.

Many people have told me that my friends are my weakness. In a way they are right—loving someone that much makes me fear their loss more than I fear death or any other thing. But it is so wonderful and so precious that I could never have it any other way. You are always alive, as long as your heart or hearts can still be broken. In that way, my friends are my strength.

So, although I was still nervous, I was also firmly resolved when Rose and I made our way out to the little stream in the wooded area behind the house with tea-for-two packed up in a basket. The day was warm, but not oppressive. There were lots of birds and insects chirping away and the stream's quiet trickling made a pleasant, steady undertone for the ensemble. We talked a bit about work and the people we dealt with day to day. We nestled under a tree and fed each other things and laughed and were really _happy._

It occurred to me suddenly that if the Master could see me now, he'd be positively _ill._ I laughed aloud.

Rose smiled up at me. "What's so funny?"

"Oh, just thinking of my old mate and how disgusted he'd be if he saw me like this."

"I take it he wasn't a romantic."

"No, definitely not." I gave her a kiss. "I'm so happy right now, I don't know what to do with it all."

"Well, I can think of a thing or two," she said mischievously before kissing me again.

I had to make my move before I became too drunk on happiness to form any acceptable sentences. "I know every day isn't like this," I said, "but these times make everything worth it. No matter what happens, being with you is how I want to live my life."

She got very quiet and just watched my face as I pulled a velvet box from my jacket pocket.

"I can't give you the ring yet, and the stone isn't even cut yet, but I have it here... couldn't wait," I said. I could see that she wasn't upset about these details. If anything, it seemed to amuse her. "Rose Tyler, nothing would give me more honor or pleasure than to make you my wife. Will you have me?" I opened the box and Rose reached out to touch the rough stone inside.

"Of course I will, you darling." We shared another kiss and she went back to admiring the stone. "What is it?"

"They haven't decided on a name for it yet. In our universe it's carmite. It has a similar atomic structure and elemental makeup to amethyst."

"Where did you get it?"

"From the astrogeology department. Pulled a few strings. So far as we know, it's the rarest gem on Earth. This bit came from a meteorite. One of the Icsos astrogeologists is heading a project to mine asteroids for it."

"So, my ring's going to have a shooting star for a stone."

"Basically."

Smiling, Rose closed the box and tucked it back in my pocket. Then she put her arms around my neck and just about smothered me.

Over time I had been able to let a little more passion out safely without losing control of myself, and now I allowed a little indulgence with the justification that this was a very special occasion. I didn't usually reciprocate very much when Rose deepened a kiss, but this time if kisses were speeches, mine would have had a decidedly French accent for nearly the full duration. I felt her hands running through my hair and then down over my neck and it gave me the shivers. I was still well in control, but definitely pushing the limits more than I had for a long time. It felt good. Finally, I wasn't being assaulted with memories and misgivings.

The pleasure of this intimacy began to slip into actual arousal. My hands were moving over Rose's shoulders, my kisses made their way to her throat, and I knew that I was getting into a dangerous zone. She was beginning to breathe in that quick, heavy way that told me she was at least as carried away as I was. My prudence won over my passion, and I pulled her into a tight hug. I could feel her heart beating against the quiet side of my chest, and my heart beating against her on the other side. Almost like having two again.

"I love you," I said in her ear. "So, so much."

"I love you," she echoed. "It's going to be the best ring. I can't wait to tell mum."

I smiled at the thought. "I'm sure she'll be very pleased."

xXx

As I thought, Jackie was thrilled to hear that the engagement was official, and she expressed excitement when Rose told her about the stone, though I think she thought it was a little unorthodox to present an uncut gem at the proposal. Pete was pleased too, of course, but less vocal.

"Now, we need to set a date and start making arrangements," Jackie said.

"We do?" Rose asked, looking amused.

"Of course! Got to get right to it. Can't put these things off. Summer weddings are always prettiest, I think. But is that too soon?"

Nothing seemed too soon for me, but there were a few things to consider. "I'd like to have a house first," I put in.

"All right, so you'll need a few months to earn enough for a down payment. Perhaps we'd better plan on autumn, then."

"You might let me decide—I am the bride," Rose reminded her.

"Yes, yes, of course. You'll have the final word on everything. But if you let me lay out the options for you, it'll save you some headaches, trust me."

I wasn't at all sure Jackie was right in this case. It seemed like she was in far too great a hurry to set things in motion. Still, I knew she meant well and would probably do far more good than harm in the end.

I left them to it and spent some time on my journal. I had gotten well into my academy years. In general, I looked back on them with fondness, but when I actually recalled them in detail, it was a bit depressing. Few of the Gallifreyan masters had been interested in assisting their students one-on-one, and the advanced students were merciless to the beginners. Koschei and I had gotten into some glorious mischief, but those memories were bittersweet as well, tainted by the knowledge that our time could have been better spent, were we not so oppressed, and that our friendship would one day turn into something quite different.

I was about ready to take a break when Rose took refuge in my room.

"I think I've had all I can take for one day," she told me. "Mum's going wild with planning. I knew she would do this."

"Well, you can hide in here for a bit," I said with a sympathetic smile. "Oh, and if there's anything special you want me to do, let me know."

"Thanks. I think it'll be a while before you need to do anything. Just concentrate on the ring for now. Are you writing?"

"Just resting at the moment. Would you like to read?"

"Yes, please." Rose took the journal and found where she had left off the last time.

It made me a little nervous, knowing all the things she was learning about me, but I still loved to watch her face as she read, seeing the surprise, the amusement, the outrage, and always the deep interest displayed there. I saw my story played back to me on her lovely features, saw myself through her eyes.

She paused after a while, looking thoughtful. "It makes me feel like such a child. You've lived so long and seen so much... I've hardly done anything."

"Oh, I wouldn't say that," I protested. "You survived multiple alien attacks on London, you met a werewolf, went to New Earth, a planet orbiting a black hole... you've done more than any other human on this lump of Earth. And you saved my life a couple of times, saw me regenerate. It's really a lot you've done."

"I guess so." She smiled. "But still. You've got nine hundred years of experience. Compared to that, whatever I do is a good guess at best."

"In that case, you make the best guesses of anyone I know."

I felt a sort of relief that night, due to the knowledge that the engagement was out of the way. Jackie would manage most of the wedding arrangements... surely the worst of the pressure was over. Wasn't it?

* * *

_Good luck, Doctor. xD Thanks for reading; please leave a review.  
_


	16. Final Preparations

_As always, thanks for the reviews. Other than Spare Wheel, this is the fastest-, most-reviewed story I've done so far. I attribute some of its popularity to the upcoming 50th anniversary episode... which is part of the reason I'm writing this now. Once I see the 50th my ideas will probably change a little where Rose and Ten are concerned. And then maybe I'll write a different, separate story. xp We'll see._

* * *

This New Life

Chapter Sixteen: Final Preparations

* * *

Well... things with Rose were great, things with Jean were tolerable, the job was going well—I got my second raise after another month—I had a phone and official citizenship and all my identification and so forth... but the pressure was far from over.

As time went on, I found myself feeling very antsy, as if I knew I was supposed to keep an appointment but I couldn't get away to do so. When I tried to explain it to Rose she said, "You miss the Tardis." I think she was right. Not just the Tardis, though—the whole life. I wanted to pick up and go somewhere. Take off without warning or explanation. I wanted to meddle in other people's business. I wanted to stop something bad from happening. I wanted to do something good.

I tried to quell the feeling by throwing myself into work, pushing my team to accomplish all that we could every day. I went over my bank statement often, estimating how long it would take to get the ring made and how long before I could buy a house.

_I'm really human now... obsessed with money, _I thought grimly. But in a way it was fun. I got to see the fruit of my labor laid out in numerical form, quantifiable. I thought about taking on some work outside Icsos to help my account grow more quickly, but since that would keep me from spending much time with Rose, I decided against it. I pressed onward, and before very long (though it seemed long indeed) I was able to have the engagement ring made.

I began looking around at houses. I didn't want to live in town, and all the places outside town were either run-down or had some sort of attractive land attached to it that made it expensive... I began to think it might be many years before I could pay off our house, and I didn't want us to live like that. I wanted us to have a nice home without the pressure of house payments. And car payments. And insurance...

"What are you looking at?" Rose asked me, coming up to my place at Pete's computer.

"Real estate," I said dully.

"Anything nice?"

"Nothing I can afford in the next decade."

"Well, we could... build, you know."

"Build?"

"Sure. Undeveloped land is much cheaper. We could build our own house."

"Wouldn't that be expensive, too?"

"We could do some of the labor ourselves. You're good with wiring, right?"

"I've never wired a house before."

"But you could."

I began to think it over. I'd want outlets everywhere... come to think of it, hiring an electrician would probably mean I'd never be satisfied with the work and I'd end up modifying it anyway. "Yeah, I guess I could."

"And you know all those brainy people at Icsos and I know the Torchwood people; between us we probably know a good architect, carpenter, plumber and whatever else we need."

"Maybe... what about materials?"

"We'll figure something out. I'll ask Dad about it and see if he thinks it would work out to be cheaper."

My somber mood lifted a little. I'd never built a real house; here was something new, almost an adventure. My uncharacteristic frown began to change into a neutral expression, and from there to a slight smile.

"So, can we estimate a date for the wedding yet?

"Er... autumn?" I said, distracted.

"That's not a date, now is it?"

"October? I like it when the leaves turn their bright colors."

"All right. I'll tell Mum October and then she can start working out the best day. I'm not particular, but she'll want to be sure her friends can come."

"You can decide some things for yourself, you know," I said, taking her hand and smiling at her.

"I really don't care. So long as it happens and it's nice... the rest doesn't matter."

"Can we put some Timelord elements in the ceremony?"

"Sure. Yeah, anything you like, as long as it won't make the attendees wonder if you're an alien."

"We'll pass them off as Perfugian tradition."

"That'd work." Rose put her arm around me and leaned her head on mine. "I'm really happy."

I felt that warm fuzzy feeling in my chest and I smiled again, bigger this time. "I'm glad. I'm happy, too."

* * *

Funny how you can forget about things. After Pete went over the estimates with me I started looking around for some land, and it was actually weeks before I remembered something vital. Fortunately I did remember it, though.

I took a day off from work, borrowed Pete's car and drove off on my own. I hadn't done much solo driving, even since getting my full license, and it was nice and freeing. I made a mental note to go for a drive now and then when the domesticity got too intense for me.

I didn't know the exact way, but I had an address and I'd found a map online; with only a little trouble, I eventually found Mr. Embry's house. He was at home, and his man let me in and conducted me to the study where I found him sitting at a desk, piles and boxes of old postage stamps in front of him, a small, curly-haired dog at his feet.

"Come in, my boy," Embry greeted me.

I felt it wasn't really accurate for human or Timelord to call me a "boy," but I supposed that Embry fancied himself terribly old, and therefore everyone else was young in his eyes.

"Thank you," I said. "I hope I'm not intruding, dropping in unannounced like this. I didn't want to call because I thought I might be overheard by someone in the house. And I haven't your number, of course."

"It's in the book. And I daresay probably on the _Web,_" he said, with a distasteful look.

"Ah, of course. I didn't think of that. I'm quite thick sometimes."

Embry chuckled. "Sit down. Would you like something to drink?"

"Oh, thanks but that's not necessary."

"I know. But what's the point in having a personal servant if you don't have him fetch things for you, eh? How about some tea?"

I couldn't help smiling. "If you put it like that. Don't mind if I do."

"That's the spirit. Dominic," he called, "Bring a pot of tea for my guest and me."

"Mister Embry..." the servant said, looking both annoyed and uncomfortable.

"Go on, off you go."

When the servant had gone, I turned a questioning look on Embry.

"That boy's daft parents named him 'Dom.' Not short for anything. Just that one sound: dom. Well, it didn't sound right, so I've taken to calling him Dominic, especially when I have guests. He hates it, of course, and sometimes corrects me, but he knew it wouldn't be good form to do so with company in the room."

I laughed. "Poor Dom."

"Oh, he'll be fine. Really is a fine man. Not like some servants I've had... but you didn't come here to listen to my rabbit-trailing."

"I don't mind in the slightest," I assured him. "But you're right—I did come for a particular reason." He looked at me expectantly and I went on. "Rose and I are getting married in October. I wanted to buy a house, but I can't find one to suit me. We thought we could build our own, so I've begun looking at pieces of land, and then I remembered what you said after the birthday party."

"Ah, you'd like to buy that lower section?"

"I may. I don't have the money to buy it all in one go, and I'll want to put a house on it, too."

"That's quite an undertaking."

"I know. But if I work at it all summer, do you think I can get it done in time?"

"Perhaps... if you have the right help. For instance, I helped my father build this house..."

"Did you!" I exclaimed, looking around with new appreciation.

"Yes. It's been many years, but I'm sure I could help you design a house. I can certainly tell you where to go for your materials."

Dom returned then with the tea. I nearly burned myself because I was so preoccupied with the prospect of house-building.

"Well, I feel a lot better now... things seem much more feasible now that I know you're willing to advise me."

Embry smiled. "I'm relieved as well. Haven't had a good project in a long time."

"Only thing is, I don't want Rose to know yet. So please keep this quiet."

"Of course. Anything you like."

* * *

Embry was good as his word. Once I'd earned enough to make a down payment on the land, he helped me find a builder to help with the house. We designed the structure together and I planned the electrical work myself.

Eventually, of course, I had to tell Rose that I'd put down a payment on a property and that I was working on the house, but I refused to tell her where it was located.

"Give me a clue," she said one evening.

"No."

She rubbed her knuckles on my head, making my hair stand up in all directions... well, more than usual. "Come on, is it close by?"

"Not telling."

"But you're building the house, yeah? There's not one there already?"

"Not telling." I combed my hair down a bit with one hand.

"You're so unfair!" She wrapped her arms around me tightly and kissed my chin. "Come on, a little hint?"

I was grinning now. "No."

She groaned. "You'll let me see it before it's done, won't you?"

"Before the interior's done, yeah."

"So you're building."

"Or rebuilding. Or remodeling the exterior. Or adding outbuildings. Or planting gardens..."

"Stop!" She put her hand over my mouth and then pulled it away to kiss me. "Why do you have to be so good at keeping secrets?"

"You love it."

She sighed and laughed. "Yeah, I do."

Fortunately, she had lots of other wedding details to distract her. She found a lovely little stone church that could seat about a hundred; since we still didn't know a lot of people, that was sufficient for our guest list. A few Torchwood agents would be there to pose as "relations" so no one would wonder why we didn't have family there. Jean was to be Rose's American cousin.

Suddenly having a genius idea, I said I'd handle the reception arrangements—Mr. Embry might let us set up a canopy by his willow tree and hold it outdoors. Rose loved the idea. I told her that even though she could pick everything out, she wasn't to go look at the site before the wedding, and she agreed. Pete and I exchanged a few knowing looks over that one.

Knowing she liked the idea of going to Europe, I planned us a trip to France for the honeymoon. Timelords don't normally have honeymoons—they just spend an especial lot of time together in the first few weeks. But this was my only life now, and I was going to make everything special.

Rose got to keep her secrets too, of course. She was very careful not to let me see anything to do with her dress. She wouldn't even tell me what shop she was getting it from. I didn't mind not knowing, but I acted as if I really wanted to find out, so she'd feel better about my secrets.

Jackie handled the invitations (bless her), and more people than I expected sent affirmative responses. Even so, we ended up with a guest list under sixty.

"That's good," Rose declared. "I never wanted a big wedding. It'll save us money on the catering, too."

"Don't worry about the money," Pete told her. "You invite whoever you please and let me deal with the caterer."

Rose rolled her eyes. "All right, all right. But I still like this number. No need to run out and invite more people."

I was glad she didn't want it to be big. Weddings weren't usually big affairs on Gallifrey, unless someone immensely important was getting married. And regardless, I had never gone to many of them.

In the meantime, Dan had persuaded me to play cricket with him and some other blokes including Pete's neighbor John, and it seemed that whatever team I was on was so likely to win that the fellows began betting on me rather heavily. I tried to discourage them; in the end I had to threaten not to play if they kept on with it. I think they still did it behind my back, though.

Then we started worrying about a wedding party...

"I'm not asking Jean to be my maid of honor," Rose said flatly. "She's not a maid. And she's not honorable."

"She could be my best man," I teased.

"No. No... she can sign the guests in. I'll make Chloe my maid of honor, I guess... she's the Torchwood agent I get on with the best. I don't need any bridesmaids... small wedding, small wedding party. No fuss, right?"

"All right. Who's performing the ceremony?"

"Dad knows this vicar in town; he can do it. And he won't mind adding the Timelord stuff—he gets asked to do unusual things a lot, I think."

"All right. How about music?"

"Dad's booking this band Mum likes..."

"Do you like them?"

"Sure. Yeah."

I turned Rose's face toward me. "Really. Do you like them?"

"They're just for the reception. But yeah, I like them just fine. I'm really not particular."

"All right. And music for the service?"

"John and Miah have a nephew who plays classical guitar, and she plays the piano. I'm going to see if they could play a processional together. Just something simple."

"Sounds good."

"Who you want for best man?"

I frowned. "I dunno. Gerry? Doctor Frasier? Either of them would do."

"I haven't met Gerry."

"True..." Gerry and Eliza were back together, unofficially of course. Knowing that Rose hadn't forgiven Eliza for her harassment of me, I decided things would be less awkward if Gerry wasn't part of the wedding party. "Let's go with Frasier. I'll ask him tomorrow."

"Okay. Good." Rose made some notes in her notebook. Then she leaned back against me on the couch. "I think that's enough wedding stuff for tonight, don't you?"

"Just about. Oh, but what about flowers?"

"Mum's handling the flowers. I told her the colors I want. It's taken care of."

"Okay." I succumbed to her cuddles. It was nearly September. Just a month and a half to go. The house wouldn't be finished in time, but the first floor would be habitable. I regretted that it wouldn't be done, but I didn't want to push the date back. Instead of feeling more nervous as time went on, I was feeling more eager. I wanted the time to go by quickly.

* * *

There's no point in recounting the boring time that seemed to crawl by. Dr. Frasier agreed to be my best man, Rose got Chloe from Torchwood to be maid of honor, we had a couple sessions of marriage counseling with some psychologist to be sure we were prepared (I think whether we were or not, no human counselor could possibly make us so), we got together for a rehearsal (before which it is apparently a _thing_ to treat the wedding party to dinner... who knew?), and in those last few days the dull, crawling time began to fly. And then I was starting to get nervous again.

Pete took me to a tea shop the night before the wedding and we sat and relaxed. It was good to be out of the house, away from all the preparations. When our tea arrived, we sipped it in silence a while. Then Pete spoke first.

"So, you ready for tomorrow?"

I nodded.

"Nervous?"

"A bit. But after all, not much will really change. Rose and I are a part of each other already; tomorrow we just make it official and legal."

"True. You've talked with her about possible culture shock? You being a Timelord and all?"

"Yes; there's a bit left I haven't told her yet, but she knows that and she's ready."

"Take my advice: whatever's left, tell her tonight. I know you've been waiting to consummate, and I approve of that; I'm glad Rose is marrying a gentleman. But if you tell her shocking things later it may make her feel trapped. If you tell her now, she'll appreciate your trust. See what I'm saying?"

"Are you speaking from experience?" I asked, not sure if it was a rude question, but deciding it was worth the risk.

"Yeah. There's a lot of stuff I didn't tell Jackie when I married her, and I wish I'd been more honest. I'm lucky I got a second chance and this Jackie's not quite so bitter."

A lot of what Pete said made sense to me. "I think I'm very lucky too... I'm not saddling you with any in-laws, but I'm getting some fine ones myself. A real family."

Pete smiled. "Sounds like we'd better finish up here and get home or you're going to go all wibbly on me."

"Probably so."

* * *

Rose and I had to pretend to go to bed so Jackie would leave us alone... then we crept back to the living room after we heard her go to her room.

"Thought she'd never go to bed," Rose complained in a soft voice.

"I know." I grinned. "Did she give you a lot of motherly advice while Pete and I were out?"

"Yeah... making sure I knew the difference between birds and bees... honestly—I've had several boy friends. And at my age most people are well beyond that, even if they haven't got internet. Still... I guess I'm glad she cares."

"Fair enough."

We sat on the couch again. "There are some things I need to tell you," I said. "I've written a bit more in my journal if you want to read it... it should help explain." I offered the book to her and she took it. She switched on the lamp by the couch and began reading about how I'd met my first wife at university.

We'd fallen in love and gotten married before graduating—a thing almost unheard of. We had children. They were all in the academy by the time I graduated. The Evlogía and I were happy for a while. Our children did fair to well at school, they grew up, the eldest married immediately after graduation and had a daughter, Susan. Susan was my pride and joy. Still in my first incarnation, and I had grown children and a granddaughter, and that granddaughter seemed to be the brightest of them all.

But my happiness wasn't to last. Susan was staying with us for a bit... her mother was expecting her second child, and we loved keeping Susan anyway. When the birth time was near, the Evlogía went to help with the new grandchild and the other children brought gifts. I stayed at home with Susan. As far as we could tell afterwards, it was a damaged Sontaran ship that strayed into Gallifrey's gravity field. Gallifrey's defense system neutralized all the occupants and took out the ship's power, but it was already on a collision course, and for whatever reason those in charge of such things were unable to stop it. I never found out exactly what happened. Eventually I gave up trying to learn the answers because it was too hard to deal with my feelings. All I know for sure is: A ship crashed on Gallifrey due to negligence on someone's part, and it happened to crash on the tall house where my wife, my children and my would-be grandchild were all in one place, happy one moment and dead the next. If any of them survived the impact, the fumes pouring out of the damaged ship choked them to death without any hope of regeneration.

Susan was all I had left. I never let her go back to the in-laws... I trusted no one but myself to keep her safe. She lived with me from that day onwards, and I became ever more attached to her. When I finally had to part with her, it was one of the most difficult things I'd ever done, but I knew it was for her own good. Of course, I've detailed these accounts more thoroughly in my other journals, so there's no need to set it all down here again.

When Rose finished reading about the tragedy, she had tears in her eyes. She pulled me close and neither of us said anything for a long time. I petted her shoulder and kissed her hair and waited, not sure if I should have told her some of this before, to soften it. It was a lot to take in the night before the wedding.

"I knew you'd been a dad," Rose said at last. "You said something about it one time, but then you just changed the subject and never talked about it again... you had _grown kids..._ and a granddaughter."

"I don't find catharsis in talking about the past."

"I know, but... oh, Doctor."

Another silence. This time I broke it.

"It's been centuries now. So long that it's sort of grown a shell round it and I can look at it almost objectively. It doesn't hurt so much that way. I can remember the good things and not dwell on the bad. But... there will always be a sadness."

"And that's why you're so afraid of losing people?"

"I suppose that's where it started. I've lost many others since. I tried to console myself with human friendships, but humans never live very long. Now that I'm half human I'm beginning to look at my lifespan differently. But it's still difficult. Also... sometimes when we're close I start to think about the Evlogía. I'm usually able to keep her sleeping away down in my memories, but not always. When she makes an appearance I miss her. I don't want it to spoil anything between you and me..."

"It won't. It's understandable. You loved her very much and it's bound to be confusing." Rose took both my hands and squeezed them. "I don't want you feeling guilty for missing her. You have every reason and every right to miss her. Things may be awkward for a while, but I promise to be patient."

We sat in the dim light a while more, quietly taking comfort in each other, and then I told her the last that she needed to know. I told her about Timelord cycles, and what happens when the male and female cycles match and when they don't, and about how intercourse normally takes a lot out of the male (but it might not affect me that way anymore, since I was half human), and how there was a slight possibility of our getting literally stuck together for a while (but I wasn't sure I still had the proper glands to make the secretion anymore, so she probably didn't need to worry about that...). It wasn't really all that much compared with what I'd have had to tell her if I were still completely Timelord, but it was still quite a bit to take in. All in all, she took it extremely well.

"Is it really weird?" I asked.

"It's a bit weird."

"Does it scare you?"

She smiled at me. "I think I'll be fine."

"You sure?"

"Sure as I can be without trying it out."

I couldn't help smirking a little. "I think you can wait another day. Just wanted you to know all this before you were... you know, stuck with me."

She huffed out a breath indignantly. "Stuck with you? Come here." She kissed me, stroking the hair at the back of my neck. "I'm the luckiest girl in this universe."

* * *

_Wedding coming up! ^^ Please leave a review. I like to hear from you as much as you like getting updates.  
_


	17. From This Day Forward

_I knew I forgot something! RawrSmores, thanks for reminding me. I thought about going back and changing it, but I think I'm going to be lazy and instead do a flashback scene here. It's hard to keep track of everything, especially when I'm working on three stories at once... yeah, I shouldn't do that. Bad at multitasking._

_SPOILER WARNING: There's a lot of talk that the Doctor's name is going to be revealed soon. Well, I think it already HAS been revealed. I could have sworn I heard William Hartnell say it early on in his episodes, but going back to search for it I can't find it. Google told me that several fans agree on what the name is, one said it was from the very first episode (which is what my phantom memory tells me too, even though I can't find it now!) and one said it was from a book. Whatever. I'm assuming it's the right name and I've put that name in this chapter. So, if you want to wait to learn his real name and you think there's enough support for this name to be the real one, skip over the marriage vows. For some reason FF keeps putting a random space in the name as well. Please ignore that.  
_

_Thanks for reviewing! Enjoy the chapter._

* * *

This New Life

Chapter Seventeen: From This Day Forward

* * *

I should mention that the counseling sessions weren't a total waste. Besides discussing the importance of open communication and going over ways to keep track of finances (since money problems, of all things, are the number-one reason for divorce), Rose and I finally got around to discussing the possibility of having children together.

For some reason it hadn't occurred to me that Janice, our counselor, would bring up that topic. Silly of me. But I had been caught a little off guard when she'd wrapped up one discussion and jumped right into the idea of kids.

"Well..." Rose said, shooting a glance at me, "we probably wouldn't right away..."

"Have you talked about having children?" Janice asked.

"Not really," I said. _Pretty much not at all,_ I thought.

"Rose, how do you feel about the idea of raising children with John?"

"John" was me, of course. I'd tried to get Janice to call me Doctor, but when we told her it was my name then she didn't understand why I was called _the_ Doctor when it wasn't used in direct address... so in the end it was simpler to let her call me by my supposed middle name.

"Um, good," Rose said hesitantly. "Before I met the Doctor, I don't think I'd have wanted kids. I didn't feel like I'd have enough time for them or that I'd make a good mum, or that I'd be able to provide for them very well. But..." She looked at me again and I smiled at her. "But I never had someone with me that I thought would make such a good dad. So, I don't know when exactly, or if I'd want to have our own or adopt... but I like the idea now."

Janice turned to me. "And how do you feel about it?"

"I'm all for it," I said, trying not to grin too broadly. I was so pleased with what Rose had said. I squeezed her hand. "I've had kids before; they're grown and gone now. I know it wasn't all easy or fun, but I wouldn't trade it for anything. And I really want to have that experience again with Rose."

"Now, Rose, you seem not to want to have children very soon. Something you need to consider is that John is over forty. If you're going to raise a child to adulthood, that's a good eighteen to twenty-something years you're investing. You may want to get started while he's still young enough to help you keep up with all the work."

"She'll keep me young," I said. "But yeah... I guess that is something to think about. I mean, if anything happened to me and she had to raise them on her own..."

"Don't say that," Rose said rather sharply.

"Well, of course I don't _want_ that to happen. But we ought to consider all the possibilities, right?"

She obviously didn't like it, but she didn't protest. "There's still Mum and Dad. They've got Tony, so they're well into parenting mode right now. They'll be a big help, whatever comes."

"True. I do think we should wait until we have some money set by after the house is finished and all. But then we don't want to wait too long."

"This was a good start," Janice interrupted in a pleasant tone. "I think you two should talk these things over more on your own, but you seem to have a mature attitude toward childrearing. I'll give you references for some very good parenting experts in case you want some advice later on."

So, we had finished the session and I think we both felt pretty good about it. But we didn't talk it over more before the wedding. There was too much going on.

* * *

I woke early on the morning of the wedding. I didn't quite feel rested, but I knew I'd never get back to sleep. I tried to write in my journal a bit, but I couldn't even finish one sentence. I put on my Superman tee shirt and a pair of jeans. Then I looked over my tuxedo hanging on the closet door. So different from a Timelord wedding outfit... I liked it, but it seemed surreal.

At seven I went downstairs and was unsurprised to find that Jackie had some coffee made and was putting croissants in the oven.

"I don't know how you do it," I said.

She smiled at me. "Can't help myself, I suppose. Are you all ready?"

"Think so. Polished the shoes yesterday. Got the rings. Got the tux."

"Handkerchief?"

"Already in the breast pocket."

"I'd say you're ready, then. Have a seat and I'll get you some coffee."

Pete came down soon after, and a little later we heard Tony crying. Rose brought him into the kitchen. She was still in her pajamas.

"Happy anniversary," I told Rose.

She laughed. "That's what you say next year." She held Tony to one side and stood on tiptoe to kiss my cheek.

Jackie fed us all, though we didn't have very big appetites. Then Rose changed and she and Jackie and Tony left for the church. Pete helped me load the luggage into the car. Then I took a quick shower and put on my tuxedo. I made sure my hair was sticking up a bit because I knew Rose liked it, but not too much because I didn't want Jackie's friends to think I was too weird.

Cologne, antiperspirant, mouth wash... I was stalling, and it was time to admit it. I went back downstairs.

"All set?" Pete asked.

"Guess so."

I let Pete drive. I didn't feel too nervous, but I wanted to be able to think. I replayed so many events in my mind: seeing Rose for the first time, her saving my life shortly after I met her, showing her new worlds, new species, different times. _I'm so, so very lucky,_ I thought to myself in wonder. I felt a little fear creep in—fear that something would go wrong, that some disaster would stop the wedding from taking place, or worse, that Rose would change her mind and not want to marry me.

Still, we got to the church without incident, and the rest of the wedding party was also there on time. Dr. Frasier and Pete and I stood on one side of the parson at the front of the church and waited for the processional to begin.

Jane Harris was the flower girl; she came down the isle with Robert Frasier, who carried the rings—in a box, not on a pillow. That was my idea. I didn't want the rings to be lost. Jackie came down next; she'd given Tony to Jane's mother Anna to hold. I thought she looked very youthful and pretty. She'd curled her hair and had on the flowing pale blue dress Rose had chosen. Chloe the Torchwood agent came next. The first time I'd seen her it struck me that she looked a lot like Gwen Cooper from the other universe, but the resemblance wasn't as obvious when she was dressed up fancy.

Then thoughts of everything else left my head when I caught sight of Rose. Her gown was a light ivory with wide straps holding up a slim bodice. It fitted closely down to her hips where it flared out in an ample skirt that nearly covered her feet. She wore a tiny veil that just covered her eyes. Long, delicate white feathers decorated it at one side, and her hair was pulled back and hanging in loose curls at the back of her head. She carried a bouquet of pink roses and baby's breath. The only jewelry she wore besides her engagement ring was a white string around her neck, from which hung something I hadn't laid eyes on for months: the Tardis key I'd given her. I could hardly believe she still had it.

I watched her moving forward, keeping her eyes on me, and she seemed to glide over the floor like her skirt was a lotus flower on a pond. _This is really happening._ I couldn't think of anything else in words. I was just so amazed that I really got this day, and this future with my dearest friend. Just then I remembered to take the handkerchief from my pocket and I held it out to her when she got to me. She gave her bouquet to Jackie to hold, took the corner of the handkerchief and wrapped it around her right hand. I did the same with the other end.

"Dear friends and family," the parson began, "today we are to witness the joining of Rose Marion Tiler and Doctor John Smith in matrimony. The bride and groom have written their own vows, which they will say when presenting the rings. The cloth binding their hands is a Perfugian symbol of the love and dedication which will bind their lives together."

I winked at Rose with the eye away from the witnesses, and she smiled, clearly holding back a giggle.

"Who gives this woman in marriage?" the parson asked.

"Her mother and I do," Pete said. And then together, he and Jackie said, "I consent and gladly give."

I remembered the day the Evlogía's parents had said those words at our wedding. So different, and yet exactly the same. The familiarity was comforting.

"If anyone knows any reason why these two should not be joined together, let him speak now or forever hold his peace."

As expected, no one said anything. I don't think anyone breathed.

"The bride and groom show the lasting nature of this adjoining by exchanging rings."

Robert brought the box forward and I took out Rose's wedding band with my free hand. I put it on the tip of her finger.

Strictly speaking, I hadn't _written_ my vows down... which in retrospect would probably have been a good idea. But at least I knew they were coming from my heart, even if they weren't as eloquent as I could have made them if I'd memorized them word for word.

"Rose Tyler, you are all that I could want or need, and so much more than I hoped for. I will never desert you. I will always love you. I will be completely yours from this day until I die. What I tell you now, you must never tell another soul." I leaned in close and whispered to her, "My true name is Christodavoreendiamondhoertmalloupdracoefiredelunm iancuimhue de Lungbarrow."

She looked truly shocked when I leaned away from her again. I had never admitted to having any name other than "the Doctor." Not only that, it was so much longer than any human name. Not only that, but she was probably wondering why I would worry about her telling it to anyone else, when she could never memorize it herself. Not only that, but I was pretty sure she knew enough French to realize that the words "BAD WOLF" were in my name. I had kept the significance of those words from her very carefully because I had no idea what it meant—the fact that when she'd had the vortex in her head she'd somehow seen part of my name... I didn't know that it would lead us here, that it was in her future to learn my name at our wedding.

I pushed the ring onto her finger and Robert held the box up to Rose. She fumbled a little but managed not to drop the ring.

"Doctor," she said a little breathlessly, "I was just an ordinary girl in a shop when you found me. And then in just a few years you showed me more than I ever dreamed existed. You're my world. You have all my trust and all my love." She moved my ring into place and I took both her hands, the handkerchief going slack between us.

We stared at each other as the parson concluded the ceremony, our smiles growing and growing, until he said I could kiss her. As if I hadn't before. As if I needed anyone else's permission. I put my left arm around Rose and put my mouth to hers, not moving but simply enjoying her warmth, her touch, her scent. I etched the moment in my memory so I would be able to recall it at any time, even without the aid of this journal entry.

I realized everyone was clapping when we came apart. I'd been so focused on my other senses that my hearing had checked out for a moment. I tucked the handkerchief back into my pocket and walked my bride back up the aisle.

_We're married. Rose is my wife._ Again, fear overtook me and I scanned the faces of the people we were passing. I didn't know half of them. Jean's face caught my eye and she nodded to me with a smile. In spite of our confrontations, I felt reassured. Jean wouldn't let anything spoil this. She wouldn't let anyone harm us.

We made our way outside and stood with the rest of the wedding party in the receiving line. I shook hands with everyone, or hugged them (the Torchwood agents got hugs even though I didn't know them—they were supposed to be Rose's extended family and my immediate family, after all) and got kisses from a few of the ladies. I couldn't have cared less. I kept looking back at Rose whenever I possibly could without seeming terribly rude to whoever was talking to me. I held her hand and stroked it. I hadn't felt such a glow inside since Donna had brought me into being.

Eventually Pete collected Jackie and Tony and went ahead to the reception. I knew Pete would be moving our luggage to the sleek rented getaway car. When everyone had been through the line, Rose and I went inside to change into our traveling clothes.

Before we went our separate ways in the little church, I said, "The gown is absolutely stunning. How did you know the 1920's is my favorite era for wedding dresses?"

Rose laughed. "I didn't. But it's mine, too."

I changed into my brown suit, but I wore a dark red bow tie with it instead of my usual thin necktie. Rose came out in a pretty yellow summer dress with a lovely knee-length skirt that flared out when she turned around. That really pleased me, because I'd been planning to dance with her at the reception.

But of course when we arrived, Rose spent the first few minutes exclaiming over how Mr. Embry had let us use his property, and then what on earth was he building over there, and then no, you can't mean that's going to be our house!?

She grabbed my hand and started running for it, and I grinned and fell into pace with her. I stopped her when we got up onto the porch.

"You know, I think I'm going to put a different lock on this door. I'll get one specially made so the Tardis key fits it." I scooped Rose up in my arms before she could protest.

Rose laughed and looked at me in surprise.

"I'm supposed to carry you over the threshold, right? I did some research."

She kissed my neck and squeezed me tightly. "Go on, then."

I pushed the door open and stepped inside. The house smelled good, like fresh lumber. It was cedar and oak. The rooms were empty and the dividing walls were just framework so far; there was no drywall up. I had all the ground floor wiring done, but there weren't any appliances in place yet. I set Rose down and we walked through the rooms of our future home together.

"They'll finish the plumbing and put some of the furnishings in while we're away," I told her. "We've still got to build the second and third floors, but we can do that together."

"Third floor?"

"There's a basement, too. Look." I bent to open a rectangular door in the floor. "There's just a ladder for now, but I'm going to make a proper staircase for it. There'll be a furnace down there and lots of room for storage. Heat rises, so it'll be simple to heat the whole house from the bottom. We'll put the cooling system in the attic, because cool air sinks."

"And is the attic to be the third floor? Or... are you planning it to be above that?"

"I'll show you the plans later. But for now... what do you think?"

"I think it's lovely. Not as big as Mum and Dad's, of course, but plenty of room all the same."

"It'll be taller than theirs, though; that'll make up for some of it."

"You're not going to turn it into a skyscraper, are you?"

I shook my head and laughed. "No. But by building up we save space on the property. I want to have a large garden."

"So, you got Mr. Embry to sell this place? The whole thing?"

"He sort of offered it to me. Haven't paid for it all, of course, but he gave me a very reasonable price."

"That's fantastic."

"You like it?"

"It's perfect."

I had expected her to like it, but it was so important to me that she did. I wanted her to love everything so that things would be perfect forever. I didn't realize how paranoid I had become. I desperately needed her approval. So when she told me it was perfect and gave me one of her pure, joyful smiles, I felt a great weight of anxiety melt away.

We went back down to the party. We danced to some quick swing music and then we cut the cake and fed it to each other. Then we danced a slower dance. Dr. Frasier made a nice speech about it being a pleasure to have gotten to know me and how he was sure we'd be happy together. Chloe gave a speech about how clever and spunky and fun Rose was, and how her colleagues all wished her the best.

Apparently Rose told people she was a night secretary for some firm or other to cover her true occupation. I hadn't thought to ask before.

Anyway, then there was a light lunch and then we danced to more slow music. Rose put her head on my shoulder.

"I want to go," she said quietly.

I knew she meant she wanted to start our trip. "I know. Me, too. We will soon." I kissed her hair.

A couple of the guests had already left. Jackie announced that it was time for the bouquet toss. Rose stood under the willow tree, turned her back and tossed the bouquet over her shoulder. Chloe jumped high to catch it. She gave Rose a grin and a nod. Rose told me Chloe had agreed to press the flowers for her if she caught it.

"Now can we go?"

The corners of my mouth were starting to hurt from smiling so much. "Yeah, I think we can go. Let's go round and say goodbye to everyone."

So we walked around and thanked everyone and encouraged them to stay and finish up the food and enjoy the music on the speakers and visit with the Tylers. Then at last we got into the car in the midst of showers of biodegradable confetti and headed for the Chunnel.

* * *

_I had Rose tell people she was a night secretary because that's what Billie Piper's character in Secret Diary of a Call Girl told people her job was. I thought it was funny. xp Hope you liked the chapter. ^^_


	18. Callooh Calais

_Thanks for the reviews, as always. ^^_

_takk05v, the Doctor has been very vague about exactly when and how he lost his family. He's made it sound like the Time War might have been the incident, but I have strong reason to believe that he lost his wife and children before that. The reason is that he took his granddaughter Susan with him when he first left Gallifrey. If his wife were still alive, I think he would have taken her instead. If Susan's parents were still alive, I doubt they'd have let him take her. So, it's a little bit of speculation on my part, but that's why I decided the Doctor's immediate family died before the Time War. He may well have lost cousins and so forth at that time. So far, we don't know for sure. Hope that helps._

_Warning: This is where the rating comes in. Serious mature content ahead. (Duh, it's the honeymoon; what did you expect? lol)_

* * *

This New Life

Chapter Eighteen: Callooh Calais

* * *

Our minds were so full that for a while we didn't speak much at all. Rose still didn't know where we were going, but I think she suspected as soon as we got very far southeast. Once we hit the Folkestone, the game was pretty much up.

"So, we _are _going to France!"

I grinned. "Yes. We're staying at a hotel in Calais tonight and tomorrow night. Do you want to know any more than that?"

"Are we going to Paris?"

I laughed. "Yes, we're going to Paris."

"That's enough for now." She sounded very happy.

We got to the Hôtel Meurice de Calais around sunset. The air was cool, so we were glad to get inside. A valet took our things to the room while I confirmed our reservation.

"I thought we'd have dinner at the Casino Le Touquet," I told Rose. "Then we can have a go at some of the games if you like, or come back here. We can always watch a film on pay-per-view."

"First I need to change into something warmer," she said. "Then dinner would be great."

We went up to our spacious suite and I sat in the front area near the door while she got changed. Having made it this far, I wasn't going to spoil anything by taking so much as a peep at her before bedtime. I wasn't sure what she thought of my forbearance; maybe she thought it was silly. But I was determined.

"There's a jacuzzi!" Rose exclaimed from the other room.

I grinned. "Yup. There is."

"I hope Mum packed my swimsuit."

"She did."

Rose laughed. "Of course... I could always go without."

"Could do," I agreed, trying not to think about it. Failing.

She came out in a floor-length blue evening dress with a warm wrap to match. "Funny, I've never seen this hanging in my closet."

"Jackie and I conspired to get it for you," I confessed. I took her arm. "Shall we?"

"Let's."

Our reserved table had a good view of the floor show, but it wasn't so close that we were likely to be disturbed by the performance at all. After we ordered, the MC introduced the cabaret performers in a very showy opening number. About half the lyrics were in English. When Rose asked me to interpret some of the rapid-fire French, I said, "Basically the same thing he's saying in English. Just makes it sound fancy for both audiences to have fifty-fifty English."

"I miss having the Tardis to translate," she said. "Is it gone for you, too?"

I nodded. "It's a good thing I'm fluent in English anyway. I suspect I may start to lose my knowledge of my other languages if I don't practice them now and then. We'll have to always take our vacations abroad."

"You won't get any arguments from me."

We sipped our water and watched the next performance. The costumes were rather ridiculous, but that's French cabaret, after all. Rose and I soaked up the culture as willing victims, smiling, giving each other glances, laughing.

I was glad when the food arrived because my face was starting to hurt from so much smiling. Everything was excellent, from the bread to the salad to the entree to the champagne. Neither of us had room for dessert.

By the time we were finished, the floor show had gotten quite risque, as they were wont to do as the night wore on. The ladies had lost a lot of their ruffles and revealed a lot of fishnet, while the few men in the group were shirtless and threatening to discard more. I wondered what was keeping their bow ties in place, but I didn't particularly want to stick around to see whether they survived the night.

"Ready to go?" I asked.

Rose nodded to me, grinning again. I could tell she was both curious and reluctant to see where the show would go next. It was probably a good time to leave.

I caught the attention of our waiter. "_Monsieur_, _le cheque, s'il vous plait._"

"Of course, _monsieur_."

The waiter probably spoke English as well as I did, but I liked to be courteous, especially since he was speaking English to accommodate me.

I settled the check and we were on our way. Rose clung to my arm and walked very close to me. The temperature had continued to drop.

"Back to the hotel, then?" I asked.

"Mhm."

"Do you want to watch a film?"

After a little silence, she said, "If we do that, I'll probably just fall asleep."

"Yeah. Do you want to just fall asleep?" I glanced down at her and saw her looking back at me with a small smile.

She shook her head.

_Right, then. No beating about the bush._

"We don't have to do everything in one night," she said.

I knew exactly what she meant, and I appreciated that. I immediately felt a little of the pressure ease away. I put my hand over hers on my arm and gave it a squeeze. This was going to be a little bit stressful, but that didn't mean it wouldn't also be wonderful.

"Have I mentioned I love you?"

"Oh, not since the reception!" she exclaimed, pretending to be shocked.

I halted outside the hotel door and kissed her. "I love you."

"I love you," she repeated.

She looked so lovely, and I felt so lucky. I wanted to say so, but couldn't think how to in a way that wouldn't seem trite. So the feeling got channeled into motivation. "Come on."

When we got up to our room, I halted again. I took off my bow tie and tied the end of it to the door handle, earning a laugh from Rose.

"Studied up on human culture, I see."

I tried to look suave, but my grin sort of ruined it. I unlocked the door and opened it for her. Then I locked it behind us. I hung up my coat and she put her wrap on the hook beside it.

"Shall I go 'slip into something more comfortable'?" she asked, giving me a suggestive look.

"Please, do."

She took her suitcase into the spacious bathroom and I kicked off my shoes. I slid off my suit jacket and dropped it over a chair. Then I checked the bedside table and found that there were complimentary condoms. Very thorough service here. Jackie had seen to it that Rose and I were on the same page about protection, and we had agreed that we didn't like the idea of pills or shots. Simple is often best, and our emotions and hormones were on enough of a trip without chemicals running amok with them as well. Might as well use the hotel supply and save the ones I'd packed in case we needed them in Paris. I opened my collar and cuffs and chewed some mint gum, since I hadn't had a chance to brush my teeth after dinner, and Rose was occupying the bathroom.

I didn't know what to do with myself after that. I suddenly wondered if I should have asked Pete about a few more things. Maybe there were some human customs I didn't know about...? No, surely not. I was very well-informed. It would be fine. It occurred to me that putting on some fresh deodorant might be a good idea, so I did that and then spat my gum in the little trash can behind the jacuzzi.

I'm sure it wasn't more than ten minutes or so, but it seemed like an age before Rose finally opened the door and came out. She was in a gauzy white, knee-length negligee. She had taken her hair down and it was rippled above the curls from being tied back so long. I couldn't remember seeing her barefoot before, and I thought it was adorable.

I met her halfway and took her gently in my arms.

"You like it?" she asked, sounding uncharacteristically shy.

"I love it." I kissed her forehead. I got just a shadow of weirdness then, like a little voice yelling, _She's hundreds of years younger than you! What the hell do you think you're doing?!_ But my rational side beat it back. _She's a competent adult, we've been working towards this a long time, so just stuff it._

Rose kissed my neck and I leaned down to meet her mouth. Her hands were moving over my back through the thin fabric of my shirt; it felt very nice, but not too arousing yet. I let my hands trail over her shoulders and then down to her waist. She gave a little sigh and teased my mouth open with her tongue.

I started guiding her back toward the bed. There would be plenty of time for exploring ambitious positions later on—for now I just wanted to enjoy this first experience together. It was like opening a present on Christmas morning. You wait and you wait, and you're tempted to peek at what you're getting; sometimes you know exactly where your gift is being hidden, and you want so badly to know, but you want even more badly to be surprised. And then, when Christmas comes, you finally open the gift which is special because of the person that gave it to you, but which has become even more special just because you waited. Then you can tear into the wrapping paper with a clear conscience, and not have to pretend to be surprised, and enjoy your gift completely.

It was time to open my present.

I tugged the delicate strings at the front of her garment and pulled one side open to unfasten the other tie at her hip. In the time it took me to accomplish that, Rose had gotten most of my buttons undone, and she finished while I was admiring the lace of her front-fastening bra and silky underwear.

I shivered as she put her hands on my chest and stroked lightly. The shiver went all the way down to my groin. I slipped my arms around her again, under the negligee, and her skin felt soft and smooth. I kissed her again and pulled her onto the bed.

I liked the idea of letting Rose take charge, but at the same time I wanted a good degree of control. Maybe I was subconsciously guiding her, or maybe she just sensed what I wanted. In any case, we ended up very much together on the bed, neither one of us really on top. I was glad I had already unbuttoned my cuffs; it made it simple to shrug my shirt off. Rose's eagerness seemed to escalate at that point. Her hands moved over me as if she needed to touch every inch of exposed skin. I pushed her negligee back out of the way and unclasped her bra.

I got another tiny hint of the weirdness then, but it wasn't so strong. I knew this was my right and that Rose wanted it every bit as much as I did. I shivered again when I felt her planting passionate kisses on the side of my neck as I leaned down to kiss her collarbone. I had always been aware that Rose had a nice bust, C or D by UK sizing, but I hadn't allowed myself to think about just _how _nicely shaped it was, or how pleasing it might be... not until now, as I moved my mouth down to kiss her breast and fondled the other with one hand. When she let out a soft moan, the shiver turned into something hot and tingling that told me my suppressed libido was not going to easily forgive me for its long imprisonment.

She had begun to work her fingers under my waistband, and I was surprised to find that I was quite ready for the next step. I unfastened my trousers and let her help me off with them. She shed the bra and trailing negligee.

She paused then, arms around my neck, to ask, "Everything good?"

I nodded. "So far, thank you. How about you?"

"Great."

"Good." I pulled her against me and delighted in the amazing feel of her skin on mine.

By now she couldn't fail to notice that my body was declaring itself ready. She pushed her pelvis forward very slowly, testing.

The term "too much of a good thing" sprang to mind, but I quickly dismissed it as rubbish. Even though I didn't know what to do with this sharp, sudden pleasure, it made me want more, not less. Unfortunately, that was when a memory of my wedding night with the Evlogía rose up. I paused, my lack of movement allowing me to notice that I was breathing rather hard now.

Rose stopped, too. She took my face in her hands and stroked my cheek. "You okay?"

I nodded, slightly uncomfortable. "Give me a moment?" I asked, hating that I had to ask.

"Of course."

We lay back on the pillows and Rose leaned her head on my shoulder and held my hand and waited.

I closed my eyes and let the Evlogía command the sight of my mind. _I'm sorry,_ was the first thing I thought, but she shook her head.

_"There is no need to be sorry. This is a time of joy. You will keep our time in your heart and build a new one with her. Don't be afraid, my darling."_

I sighed. The sweat on my face and body was evaporating, cooling me significantly. I felt myself relax. I opened my eyes and gave Rose an apologetic smile. "I'm fine now. Have I spoilt it?"

Rose shook her head. "No, not at all."

"I love you so much." I kissed her softly and ran my hand along her side, down over the narrow band of fabric at her hip.

Gradually, our petting resumed its former passion. This time she waited for me to make first contact below the waist, and everything was fine.

"Do you want to keep going?" she asked breathlessly.

"Do you?" It had suddenly occurred to me that she might be nervous, too.

She did look a little shy again when she looked up at me, but she nodded.

"Okay." I kissed her forehead and quickly retrieved a condom from the drawer. Then I put my arms around her and let my hands caress her curves, sliding down the lacy underwear which were already damp with sweat and possibly more. She lifted her hips for me, and then her feet to allow me to slide them all the way off.

Then it was my turn and although I did feel a little self-conscious at my exposure, there were no more misgivings like before. She watched me put on the condom, kissing my shoulder and stroking my chest to distract me from my nervousness.

I pulled back a little to look at her as a whole, and I thought she looked like a goddess. Such a perfect, beautiful creature, and she was mine. And not only was she perfect and mine, but she loved me. Her eyes said clearly that she wanted me. I wouldn't make her wait any longer.

We were still side-by-side, so my left arm and her right were kept a bit busy with the job of keeping us steady on our sides, but our other arms were free to roam—which they did, rather a lot. My hand wandered down her chest to her stomach, over her hip and then down to her inner thigh. There was a little voice to her sighing now which told me I was doing the right thing. I brought my hand back up slowly, ready to halt at any sign of discomfort, but none came.

There was no question of readiness; my fingers found her very slick, a little moisture already slipping down onto her leg. I brushed it back up to the source and she huffed out a very heavy breath. She moved her hand down my arm, encouraging me to continue. My moistened fingers slipped up over her clitoris and she gasped.

I leaned down to kiss her breast again, this time nibbling lightly at her nipple with my lips. Then her hand came to the back of my neck, tugging me forward, asking for more. I put my tongue out and gave her nipple a few firm licks before taking it into my mouth. I felt Rose's fingers twining into my hair and heard her whisper "yes." It took surprising concentration to suck gently while very slowly working two fingers inside her, especially when the sounds she was producing were making me ache for her.

"Doctor," she panted.

I looked up at her and knew she was ready for the last step. I kissed her mouth and eased her onto her back.

"Is this all right?" I asked, wanting to be absolutely sure.

"Yes," she said immediately.

She reached up to kiss me again and I lost myself in it a moment before I began to shift my body over her. She trailed one hand down my chest and I gasped. It continued down, and as I tilted my hips forward her hand arrived to help guide me inside. There was an echo of familiarity in the hot slickness that surrounded me, but no memories came to haunt me. I eased back a little before moving in again, just a tiny bit further.

Rose closed her eyes in pleasure, but she was mindful enough of me to keep her hands moving, one at my hip and the other stroking my chest. Now that it was finally time, now that everything was allowed, she seemed determined to arouse me to a maddening extent.

And I loved it. It was all I could do not to thrust my entire length into her at once because of the way she was sweetly torturing me, but I held back, keeping my progress gradual. I sank down to my elbows, our chests pressed together, and kissed her neck, flicking my tongue out to tease her in return. I had little breath to spare, but I managed to whisper, "I love you, Rose," in her ear.

"I love you, too," she answered faintly. Her fingers had begun to dig into my back and she was thrusting up slightly to meet me.

I took that as permission and brought my pelvis forward, sinking into her fully and working up my pace. I could feel the orgasm building like a tidal wave behind a dam. Her moans were getting less controlled and I hoped she was as close as I was. I heard her say my name in the midst of it and that was that. I pushed hard, one last time and felt that impossibly blissful explosion that I hadn't felt for so long, infinitely better than any other physical sensation between that night and my previous marriage. I wanted Rose to feel the same. In the midst of my climax I laid my forehead against hers and slipped into her consciousness. "Rose."

"Ohhh." She gripped me tightly and in her mind I sensed the same tidal wave that had washed over me overtaking her; it sent new ripples of enjoyment through me and we lay there for several minutes, completely and blissfully silenced by pleasure.

Too late for practicality, it occurred to me to check that everything was normal according to human standards. It seemed that my experiment had been correct: other than my chest being very sensitive to touch, none of my other Timelord's sexual peculiarities seemed to have carried over. I wasn't sure if I was relieved or disappointed. I wanted to be normal for Rose... but I also wanted to be extraordinary for her.

"Oh, god," Rose said faintly as she regained her breath.

Suddenly concerned, I moved slightly so most of my weight was off her. "Are you okay?"

"I'm great. That was so... I've never felt anything like that."

I kissed her temple. "Good, then?"

She smiled. "Good is a start. When you... when I felt you in my mind... oh, god." She laughed quietly.

So, it was good, apparently. My concern ebbed away. She was happy. I eased out of her and wrapped her in my arms. "I suppose I should have warned you first..."

"It's fine. It was... great. I never thought of it is all. God, I'm so lucky. I've got the only Timelord in the universe."

I squeezed her. "I'm lucky. I'm in the only universe with my Rose."

She nestled her head into my chest.

I felt exhausted and I knew she must be, too. I took the remote control from the bedside table and turned off the lights.

"Good night," Rose's voice came muffled from below.

"Good night, my darling."

Here I need to note (because Rose insists it, and she's not wrong, of course) that I am not setting down this account so that posterity may learn the details of our personal lives. They are for my own memory, in case these good times begin to fade away. Of course, once we're gone it doesn't matter terribly who reads my journals, but I intend to leave instructions for them to be burnt. If you are an outsider reading this, obviously my instructions were not carried out. But it's of no great consequence; if you find this account a help or a comfort, then by all means, continue reading. It's a funny thing, but living to be close to a thousand years old really does take all the shame out of a person.

* * *

_And there you are! The Doctor finally got some. XD Sorry if I got anything inaccurate about Calais or the hotel or casino. At least I bothered to research UK bra sizes... heh.  
_

_For those who are wondering: the chapter title is a play on "O frabjous day, callooh callay, He chortled in his joy" from the poem Jabberwocky by Lewis Carroll. I know it's kind of silly, but I couldn't resist. The Doctor is a fan of Alice In Wonderland, after all.  
_


	19. The Honeymoon's Over

_Thanks for the reviews. x) More please._

_In this chapter you get a little Rose POV._

_SPOILERS: You should really watch Doctor Who: The Movie (Paul McGann as the 8th Doctor) before you read this chapter. Unless you just don't care about spoilers._

* * *

This New Life

Chapter Nineteen: The Honeymoon's Over

* * *

After breakfast in bed Rose and I walked around Calais, took pictures, had a boat ride, had lunch, toured a museum, fed pigeons, people-watched, walked a little more, had dinner and watched a movie (part of it from the jacuzzi) in our room. We were such tired tourists that we just cuddled up and went to sleep when the movie was over.

The next day we drove down to Paris. Rose said I became rather an aggressive driver on that trip; I prefer to say "strategic." In any case it took us most of the day, but we got to see the Eiffel Tower before dark. Then we checked into our Parisian hotel and went out to stare at the thousands of lights coming on as darkness fell.

"Can't believe I've never seen this before," Rose said, leaning against me with her arm around my waist. "You've taken me so many places... this one's not far from home when you think about it."

"Not at all." I kissed Rose's head. "Where do you want to go tomorrow?"

"Oh... I don't know. Could we tour the Louvre?"

"Certainly. And would you like to see the ballet at L'Opera? Or we could go see a Molière play. I wish we could see _Le Docteur Amoureux _by Molière—one of his best."

"Are they not performing it anymore?"

"Not only are they not performing it; it's lost. I checked online to be sure it was the same in this universe. It's gone missing here, too."

"What was it about?"

"The Doctor In Love... just what you'd expect." I chuckled. "I think I might have influenced how he wrote the character... but the Doctor of the play is much more roguish, of course. But if I wasn't in this universe at all, it may have had nothing to do with me."

"What was Molière like?"

"Brilliant. Well, a bit pessimistic. But very witty when he chose." _Shan't ever see him again. He's dead over three hundred years now... closer to four hundred._ I tried to push the morbid thought from my mind. "I believe they're doing _Le Malade Imaginaire_ tomorrow, if you'd like to see it."

"What's it about?"

"It's The Imaginary Invalid. About a fellow who imagines he's ill all the time and his money's running out because he spends it on doctors. So he wants to marry his daughter off to a doctor so he can get treated for free. It's quite funny."

Rose smiled. "Okay, we can give it a go. But I want to see the Louvre first."

"Agreed."

We stood there for a few more minutes in silence; then, without saying anything, we looked at each other and went in to bed. I shan't give any details here, but I think it's worth mentioning that the second time around was less awkward and very enjoyable.

The next day we had a wonderful brunch of croissants and fruit salad. Then we went to tour the Louvre without a guide; I told Rose all about the artists I had met, some of whom I had influenced in our universe. I was a little smug when I saw that some of the famous works were different here. I took that to mean that I had been quite a strong influence indeed. Then we had an early dinner and headed to the theater.

"This was Molière's last play," I whispered as the lights went down. "He played Argan himself, which is ironic as you'll see later..." She shushed me then and grinned. I translated some of the French for her, particularly some idiomatic expressions she was unfamiliar with. When there was a little interlude between scenes I told her, "Molière collapsed while playing Argan and though he finished the performance, he did die of a heart attack shortly after."

"Oh, my. Did that sort of thing happen often in theaters in those days?"

"Actors weren't the celebrities that they are now—many of them had to work right up until their deaths to keep their bills paid. So yes, I suppose it probably did happen a lot more back then."

After the play, we discussed it, walking along the Seine for a while.

"Now you see why I said it was ironic," I said.

"Yeah. I guess the moral is, don't write a part for yourself that requires you to die on stage, or it might come true. I prefer happy endings, particularly for comedies."

"Well, it was dramatic irony, of course. I think the moral of the play is, don't be selfish or paranoid and you'll live better... if not longer."

"And let your daughter marry who she likes!" Rose added with conviction.

"I can't argue with that. Though I may later, if we have a daughter."

* * *

_Mon amour_, you said I could write something, so I'm taking the chance. (This is Rose, for anyone who might read this later.) I think you've given quite enough details about the honeymoon. Some things aren't meant to be shared with posterity. It's funny, though—I don't really mind what you put in about that first night, you cheeky thing. Age does lower inhibitions, certainly.

It should be noted that we saw Notre Dame and L'Opera, the wonderful old opera house that was the setting for The Phantom of the Opera. The Doctor tried to scare me by suggesting that the Phantom might drop a noose on one of us at any moment, and I got him to sneak out of the designated tourist area, but we didn't try to get all the way down to the underground lake. Someone official-looking spotted us, and we knew we didn't stand a chance without the psychic paper.

We saw some amateur artists painting in a few corners of the city, had _café_ _au lait_ at a real French café, danced to live music on the street and had many glorious nights in the hotel. I know now that the Doctor was nervous about his stamina holding out, but he adapted to the pace of the human honeymoon very well. Apparently when Timelords get married, there isn't such a fuss and their lives continue almost as if nothing has changed. So I'm quite proud of how he managed, though he had of course made a study of humans for centuries.

I called mum a couple days after we got to France, and she was ecstatic for us and asked all sorts of questions, including a couple I refused to answer that made me blush a bit. That's the wonderful thing about telephones without cams: your mum can't see you blush. I told her I'd end the call if she didn't mind her own business. But it was really good to hear from her. Made me realize I was a little homesick. But I knew we'd be going home soon enough, and I should enjoy every moment.

Instead of going through Amiens as we had on the way down, we stayed one night in a town called Arras. It was still full of French life, but not as busy or crowded as Paris. The Doctor bought me a new dress there; one I could wear to semi-formal events or just on a night out with him. It was deep blue with simple ruffles from one shoulder down under the opposite arm, leaving the other shoulder bare. I still have it, though it's a little too shabby to wear out now. It reminds me of that lovely time.

After that we went back to Calais for our last night in France, and then back home. I was amazed at how much work had gotten done on the house while we were away. The first floor was finished, all the wiring and plumbing connected, furniture brought in and even food in the cupboards and icebox. Mum had left fresh flowers in some of the rooms and their scent mixed with the cut wood and new paint smells. Everything was perfect.

I called mum again to let her know we were home, and then the Doctor and I spent the evening unpacking. We started making a list of things we needed. Mum had moved most of my things over from my room in their house, and she had unpacked the wedding gifts for me. But we needed a lot of odds and ends. For instance, the first thing the Doctor put on the list was "torch." The wiring wasn't finished in the basement, and he wanted to get on that as soon as possible. Next he put chopsticks on the list. Apparently he likes eating with them for the "direct approach." He also likes drinking out of squat little Asian-style cups that are "less easy to knock over."

But I'm getting off-topic. We were both plenty tired when we went to bed that night, but not too tired to put the new bed to the test. The Doctor was getting more and more confident, which was an adventure in itself. I have to admit that I had a few girly moments when I was a bit scared, but all I had to do was look in his eyes and I'd feel better. He never hid anything from me, and he always put me first. I knew I could trust him with everything.

My homesickness had lessened even though I hadn't seen my parents or Tony. Even though we'd been in the house only a few hours, it had already begun to feel like home. It had been a little like that at the hotel in Paris too, and I realized with pleasure that it was because home was wherever the Doctor was. I would always want to go back to visit my family, but not for long at a time. He was enough for me. (And you still are!)

~Rose out~

Thanks for that... she always keeps me from going on too long. It was a terribly exciting time, though. Difficult not to babble a bit.

Going back to work was weird. Everyone was congratulating me and asking how the travel was, and trying to find ways to ask what we did without asking _what we did._ Honestly, I wanted to tell them all to mind their own affairs. The honeymoon was my special time with my new bride, and it wasn't anyone else's business. But I knew that humans expect each other to enjoy pouring out travel stories and such, so I did my best to satisfy them with a description of Paris and going to the ballet and walking by the Seine and all that. Eventually, they left me alone.

It was much too cold to try growing anything that year, but I did hire a plow to break up a section of ground and fertilized the area for planting the next spring. Rose helped me work on the house, and in the next couple of months we finished the basement. Call me a weakling, but I didn't fancy working on the second floor during the winter. It was quite chilly even in the middle of the day, and often rainy. So the roof stayed covered in weighted tarpaulin for several months.

I got a raise at Christmas time, and I was able to make larger payments to Mr. Embry. I knew he would never press us for payments on the property, but I didn't like the feeling of being in debt. Also at Christmas we attended a party at the Tyler estate, and I got reintroduced to some of Jackie's traditions. Rose and I started our own tradition as well: sipping eggnog by the fireplace and helping to clean up each other's faces which _somehow_ always managed to get some nog on them.

And oh, that first spring! Rose had been relieved of nearly all her Torchwood duties as a Christmas gift from Jean, so she'd been spending a lot of time with Jackie and Tony (who was beginning to talk, heaven help us). When spring came, Rose brought home some seedlings she and Jackie had planted in little pots and had growing on window sills at the big house. We planted them in the garden along with some more seeds—all sorts of lovely things. I got a little gang of men together to help me work on the house on the weekends, and we made steady progress.

Finally, one evening in May, I led Rose up the curved staircase and showed her around. It was almost as good as showing her the downstairs on our wedding day. She exclaimed over how nicely arranged it was, and how much she liked the wood floors. When we came to the last room, she halted and looked suspiciously at the corner which was sectioned off with hanging tarps.

"Hold on. Is that bit not finished?"

"Technically, it's not part of the second floor. It's sort of going to be another staircase."

"The one going to the attic?"

"No."

"The one going to the third floor, then?"

"No; I thought that one should go by the landing to this floor."

"Well, what, then?"

"This will be the entrance to the tower."

She stared at me, fighting a losing battle against the grin that began to take over her face. _"Tower?"_

"Yes, tower."

She put her arms around my neck and ran her hands through my hair over and over. "You fantastic idiot, you." She gave me a stomach-flipping kiss.

"Yes, well..." I muttered when we came apart. I tried to straighten my hair a bit, but without a mirror it was pretty pointless. "The bathroom on this floor will just be a half-bath, but I think the master bedroom will be on the third floor with a full bath connecting. When we're old and gray we can move back down to the first floor. When we're feeling adventurous we'll pack a knapsack and hike up to the tower. We'll camp out on cots or something and make the trek back down in the morning."

Rose started to giggle. "I just bet we will."

"We'll have to take a mobile with us, though. The children will be frantic with worry if they can't get in touch with us."

She left off giggling and gave me a squeeze. "So, um... how many kids did you want to have?"

"Oh, not too many. Six or eight."

"What?" She stood back from me and stared. "You're joking."

"Yup, I am."

"Oh, thank God. You had me for a second."

I grinned at her. "Not just one, though. If you're going to go to the trouble of raising a kid, you may as well raise a couple."

"Hm. And do you want your own, or would adopting suit you?"

I had considered this question quite a bit, but I wasn't sure what Rose wanted to hear. "I think I want my own, deep down. But adoption would probably be safer."

"What you mean, 'safer'?"

"Well, there are a couple of things to consider." I started to lead Rose back to the stairs. I sensed a Conversation coming on, and I wanted to get more comfortable. "First of all, a human-timelord meta crisis has never had kids with a human before. I mean, what if it's born with... with a time-head or something?"

Rose snorted. "What the hell's a 'time head'?"

"No idea. But I'm just saying, what if I passed on some weird mutation to the kid, or what if your body rejected it? I'd feel just horrible. And people might figure out there's something not normal about me, or our kid. Dangerous."

We sat on the sofa in our living room. Rose snuggled against me.

"Okay, I see your point... but you said you want your own."

"Well, that's selfish, isn't it? I've already had kids of my own, watched them grow up, seen similarities and differences to me—there are already kids out there with no parents. It would do so much good to take them in instead of just making more, you know?"

"Yeah..."

"What do you think?" I pulled away enough to look at her. "What would you rather?"

"I agree with what you're saying. I think adopting is great. But sometimes..." She bit her lip.

"What? Sometimes, what?"

She huffed out a nervous little laugh. "Sometimes I could just die to know what kind of babies you'd make."

I didn't really know what to say to that. I thought I felt a little blush coming on, so I pulled her against me again and laughed. "Well. Er... I s'pose pretty average babies, really. I mean, my kids were pretty average for Timelords. Fairly clever, but not exactly famous in their time. Good-looking enough, but that's very transient to a Timelord. Generally good-natured, but that's not actually very highly _valued_ among Timelords..."

"Transient, is it? You once said I looked beautiful, considering I was human."

"Rose." I kissed her head. "You are absolutely the most beautiful human who ever lived. With the possible exception of my mother."

"Your what?"

She tried to pull away again, but I held her tight so she couldn't see my face.

"You're joking again, right?"

"Well..."

"Doctor?"

"I never knew my parents, really... so I had to rely on hearsay. But there are records... I mean, there _were_ records in the Matrix about my father making unauthorized trips, reputedly to Earth, and on one occasion he brought back a wife of unknown origin. Some say she really was from Gallifrey originally, but..."

"But she can't have been human. You're half human because of Donna, but..."

"What makes you say she can't have been?"

"Because you're... you were always so _alien!_ there wasn't anything human about you. You've got two hearts. You're so fast and your brain's got like ten times the capacity of a human brain. And you're... you're just not human."

"Timelords aren't the only species with two hearts, you know. And just because something's half and half doesn't mean the traits of one can't dominate the other. A griffin could look like a lion with feathers or an eagle with a long, tufted tail. In fact..." I loosened my hold and took a long breath. "In fact, someone could even have all Timelord DNA and still be too human to regenerate if they were made from human materials."

"What... how could that happen?"

I took my time answering. I had kept so many things to myself. A few had come out over the last several months, especially with Rose reading my journal. I had nearly gotten up to the point that I stole the Tardis—the events following that were easier for me to recall. But now it was time to share something much more recent. "I'm going to tell you about something that happened to me and Donna. Well, Martha was there, too. That was the Tardis's idea."

I managed to hold the tears back until I got through Jenny's whole story. Rose held my hand throughout and kept her questions to a minimum. When I finished she held me and told me it was all right to cry as much as I needed to. I needed to more than I had realized.

When I was quiet again, she said, "I wish I could have met her."

"Me too. You'd have loved her."

Rose kissed my neck and rubbed my shoulder in slow circles. "How about a compromise?" she said, and at first I didn't realize that she was going back to an earlier point in the conversation. "How about if we have our own kid and see how that goes, and then we can decide whether to have any more of our own, or to adopt?"

I weighed our options in my mind again. I was genuinely worried about the possible consequences, but I wanted more than ever to have a child that was part of me and part of Rose. And I didn't want to wonder for the rest of my life how things might have been. "I think I like that idea. As long as you're sure you're okay with the pregnancy. Nine months is a very long time."

"I'll have mum to help. She certainly owes me that, after all my help with Tony."

"True enough," I agreed.

* * *

_Don't shoot me. xp I know some people don't consider the movie to be canon, but in my opinion it absolutely is, and the line "I'm half human on my mother's side" is one of my favorites. It explains so much! His fondness for Earth and humans, his volatile emotions (for a Timelord), his attraction to humans, his craving for friendship, his love of the Harry Potter books... rofl. Also, couldn't resist making the Doctor suggest a possible "time-head." xD  
_

_Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this. Not sure how much more I'll do. If you want it to go on long enough for you to see a kid or two, leave me a review and I'll see what I can do. (Wow, that rhymed a lot.) Let me know what you thought of Rose's little bit.  
_


	20. And Baby Makes ?

_Thank you for the continued support. I love reviews. ^^ Hope you like the chapter. Nothing shocking in this one.  
_

* * *

This New Life

Chapter Twenty: And Baby Makes ?

* * *

Things were good at that time, but it gets difficult to remember the specifics, rather than a general blob of Good. Work and home improvements and cricket and gardening... It was all good, and I shouldn't have felt restless, but I did. I knew we'd just gotten started, but I felt that if something significant didn't happen soon, I would go mad. It was too domestic. I suppose helping to save Robert from falling off the Icsos building last year had made me think that human life would be nearly as thrilling as time travel, and now I was suffering from a touch of disillusionment.

It was late in July, and we were starting to harvest cucumbers and tomatoes from the garden. It really needed daily tending. But I came into the house fully determined to hand the basket of produce to Rose with the words "Start packing. We're going away."

But as soon as I got inside and shut the door, Rose cut off my plan. She came to meet me with a kiss and took the basket as she said, "I've been thinking... it's been most of a year now."

Fighting down panic, I reassured myself that the anniversary was still a good way off. "Yes? And?"

"And I've just finished a cycle... I was wondering if you wanted to start trying to have a baby."

"Now?" I said stupidly, my brain not quite having caught up. _Are we ready? Has it really been that long? Do most humans start trying after a year?_

"We're meeting the property payments well, there's plenty of room in the house, and I have a lot of spare time. So... I'm ready if you are."

I knew from watching human movies and television that a lot of men would have knocked the vegetables to the floor and started undressing her immediately, but that was definitely not my style. Instead, I moved the basket to the counter top and pulled her gently into my arms. "I think if you're ready, I am too. Do you want to take one of those parenting classes, or do you think between your mum and my experience, we'll be all right?"

"No harm in being over-prepared, I s'pose," she said. "But that doesn't mean we can't start trying before we start the classes."

I couldn't fight the smile spreading over my face. "True," I said. "But we should probably have dinner first."

I don't think I need to detail either the lovely home-cooked meal or what happened afterward. It was, however a new experience in the knowledge that we were doing more than enjoying each other. We were deliberately setting out to create a new life, something I hadn't done since I was very young. There is no way to describe how special that is.

Some people seem to be under the impression that intercourse is immeasurably more enjoyable without the use of condoms. I will not say that it is not better in any way, but I suspect the enjoyment ranks differently for each person. It is certainly different, and the desire to produce children puts one in a different mindset. To me, that was the entire reason for being excited about it. Intimacy with my Rose was excellent in all cases, and working toward parenthood with her brought new pleasure.

We had plenty of time for parenting classes, though—our efforts proved unsuccessful. Every week Rose would test negative for pregnancy, but every week we went to the class just the same. We began looking into the red tape of adoption and seeing which countries were most anxious to have their children adopted, and talking about whether we would want a girl or a boy, or if it mattered.

Jackie was a great support throughout, and Jean even offered to help out if she could... facetiously offering to be a surrogate mother, and then seriously suggesting calling in international favors to help the adoption process go more quickly and smoothly. We had all but decided on trying to adopt an Indian child (because in this universe, India was slightly more overcrowded than China) when we got a surprise.

Rose came out of the bathroom after her weekly test and held out the plastic wand to me. "Does this look positive to you?" she asked.

I knew she was very nervous and excited, but she was holding it in because we'd had a false alarm before. There was a pale representation in the test line that suggested a positive result, but it wasn't very strong. I wondered if it could be a fluke. "A bit," I said guardedly.

"Should we go to a doctor and double check?"

All my apprehensions about a natural (sort of) pregnancy made me hesitant. "I'm anxious to be sure, too... but I think it'd be better if we waited a few days and tested again. If there's anything unusual about it, I want to know first."

So, we waited. We attended our parenting class and told the counselor that our latest test had been inconclusive. He and the other two couples present wished us luck. The next couple of days felt a little awkward. The possibility that Rose might be pregnant was all we could think about, but there was no point in talking about it. At night I just held her until she finally fell asleep, and then I would turn over and over until I managed to sleep a little, too. We weren't unhappy, but we were certainly tense.

At last, Rose took the test again. She stayed in the bathroom a long time.

"Rose, you okay in there?" I called from outside.

"Yeah..." Rose opened the door and held out the test box to me. "Doesn't the box say it's supposed to be a purple line?"

I took the box and glanced over it. "Yes... solid purple line is positive."

"Does this look purple?"

I moved into the light from the large front window in the living room. "No... it looks sort of... blue."

"Indigo."

"Er... turquoise?"

"Well, what's it mean?"

"I wish I knew." I frowned. "Let's keep it to ourselves for now... I mean, you can tell your mum and dad, but don't tell Jean. If she thinks there's anything fishy she'll start prying."

"Okay. But you think this is positive? I'm pregnant?"

"I think so." I pulled Rose into my arms. "I love you so much."

"I love you too." She squeezed me. "Whatever's going on, we'll be okay, won't we?"

"Yeah. We'll figure this out together. We always do." I kissed her head and prayed I was right.

* * *

"Supposing there is something... you know, alien about the baby," Jackie said when we were having dinner at the estate couple of weeks later. We had gotten together to celebrate my promotion to team leader after Gerry got his grant to go work with NASA. "It won't be so bad, will it? I mean, he always looked human and all. No one will be able to tell, will they?"

"They might, they might not," said Rose. "If I have this baby in hospital and they take blood samples and such, they might find something abnormal."

"Well, you're not thinking of having it at home, are you?"

"There are some midwives in London. Our parenting teacher's given me a list."

"Oh, no, no. Doctor, you're not going to let her have the baby in your house, are you?"

I shrugged. "That's what I'm used to... Timelords always had their children at home."

"And you called _us_ primitive!"

I sighed and smiled half-heartedly. "Jackie, it'll be fine."

"Rose isn't a Timelord... lady. Whatever! She's human."

"Mum," said Rose, "I'm considering my options very carefully. I don't need you to swoop in and protect me. Everything will be fine."

There was a little awkward silence.

"More," said Tony.

Jackie looked at Tony's tray. "More potatoes?"

"More," Tony agreed.

"So..." said Pete as Jackie served the toddler, "have you started thinking of names?"

"A bit," Rose said with a chuckle. "But out of all the names in the universe, we don't really know where to start. We do want at least two names, though."

"At least?"

"Well, he or she has got to have a name they're given at birth that's kept secret. A Timelord name. And then it's got to have a human name for the birth certificate."

"What's the point in a secret name?" asked Jackie.

By now I was used to Jackie's blunt questions. I knew she didn't mean any harm. "It's a sacred tradition," I explained. "Only one's parents and one's spouse knows the name. It can be used like a password to confirm identity if Timelords are reunited after one of them regenerates. And it's a symbol of trust."

"We have a few name ideas," Rose interjected. "But we're going to keep them to ourselves for now. May as well wait until we know the gender at least."

"You're planning to get an ultrasound, then?"

"Probably," I said. "Of course, you're supposed to go for regular checks and all that... but we're not sure we want to risk it. There's a lot at stake."

"Yes, there is." Jackie looked at Tony happily sucking mashed potato off his fingers. She looked a little worried, and I thought she might be thinking how fortunate she had been to have a normal pregnancy and delivery.

"It'll be all right. Whatever happens... we'll deal with it."

Rose nodded. "No sense worrying. We just have to wait and see."

* * *

Wait we did, and when Rose missed her next period we were certain that the turquoise line on the pregnancy test had been a positive result, though what the color indicated, we still didn't know.

I got some equipment and made a few chemical experiments, trying to discover what could cause the test to react in that way. It didn't take me long to duplicate the result with a sample of my blood. That was a little worrying, because it meant that whatever it was, the color was definitely my contribution, and it was not something that would happen in an ordinary human pregnancy. Still, the fact that Rose was definitely pregnant was a good sign itself. I knew that my blood was quite different from hers, but so far this hadn't caused a rejection.

One night while I was experimenting, Rose came over and peeked into my microscope. "Is that some of your blood?"

"Yup."

"Does it always look like that?"

"Mhm."

"It's... really dark, but kind of..."

"More orange than yours?" I suggested.

"Yeah."

"Mhm. Hemoglobin's different, as is iron and oxygen content. I'm trying to separate out the one component that's causing the reaction on the pregnancy test." I carefully dropped a diluted solution from a syringe onto my test sheet and waited. A shape began to appear slowly. "I think I may have it."

Rose came to peer over my shoulder and together we watched the spot turn blue and then turquoise. "That's it. What is it?"

"Well, it's um... it's a sort of antibody. Not exactly. But... it behaves rather like one in extreme circumstances. A Timelord's if-all-else-fails, hold-the-fort sort of element. It's what allows a Timelord to hold back the affects of poison until an antidote can be taken, or what allows him to shake off the effects of intoxication or sedation in emergency situations. It doesn't last long, but it holds the toxin at bay long enough for a sort of last effort... blaze of glory sort of thing."

"So, it's good?"

"It's a good element to have in one's blood, yes. And it's not an indication of any complications or defects. But it does mean that this child doesn't have one hundred percent human DNA."

Rose rubbed her stomach distractedly, as she was getting in the habit of doing even though the pregnancy hadn't begun to show yet. "We can't go to a doctor, can we?" She bit her lip.

"It would be risky."

"Does this mean we'll have to be happy not knowing if it's a boy or girl until it's born?"

"That, or..." I wondered if there were anyplace one could get an ultrasound without risking some doctor insisting on a lot of other tests. Then I began to wonder about something else.

"What? What's that look for?"

"Oh... silly, I suppose. But I was just wondering what it would take to build an ultrasound machine."

"Don't be ridiculous... I mean, even if you could, you'd have to get parts from somewhere. It would look fishy. Maybe Jean could help us get into a private practice when it's closed or something..."

"No. We're not telling Jean that the baby isn't a full-blooded human."

"But... I just remembered, there's this thing at Torchwood—a sort of medical analyzer. All you have to do is scan your hand it it can tell just about anything about your body. If I go up to Torchwood I'm sure I could use it quick enough that no one would find out."

"Does this analyzer keep records?"

"I know how to wipe them."

I smiled. "You're sure you could do it safely, without anyone finding out?"

"I'm sure. And anyway, better to risk Jean finding out than some random person, isn't it? She hasn't interfered with us since the wedding. She's been really nice, actually."

"Exactly why I'm suspicious of her," I muttered. "But I guess you're right." I got up and swept Rose into a tight hug. "When were you going there next?"

"Day after tomorrow, routine visit. No one will suspect anything."

* * *

In spite of Rose's confidence, I worried all day at work. Simon commented on Eliza Morris's absence and Dan said he'd heard a rumor that she'd quit. That took my mind off Rose for a little while. I was fairly sure Eliza had left to follow Gerry to the States, and I was happy for them. Rose would be glad to know I was out of Eliza's reach, too...

And there I was, thinking about Rose again. _You don't let your wife and child go to a dangerous place without you,_ I told myself. How ironic that I had been bored with domestic life not long ago. Now it was interesting again, and even a little thrilling.

I ended up leaving a little early and called Rose right away.

"Everything's fine," she told me. "I'm on my way home. We can talk there."

"Okay. I love you, Rose."

"Love you, too."

I put my phone away and sighed in relief. I was terribly curious to know what the scan had told her, but at least I knew she was safe.

Rose's cab had dropped her at the house before I got home. She was making dinner when I came in.

"How did it go?" I asked, before she even had a chance to kiss me.

"Good," she said, but there was an edge to her voice.

"What did the scan say?"

"I'm pregnant... but we knew that." She laughed a little.

"Yeah. There's something else though, isn't there?"

"Well... the scan says I'm likely carrying twins."

"Twins?" Honestly, that was the last thing I'd expected to hear. Developing too quickly or too slowly, sure. Extra appendages? Maybe. But twins hadn't occurred to me. "How likely?"

"It said eighty-five percent chance."

"Blimey. That's pretty high. I thought we'd thought of everything, but... lord, that'll be twice everything."

"I know. Twice the clothes, twice the food, twice the attention. It makes me tired just thinking about it."

"Are you scared?"

"A little," she admitted. "But people have twins... it's not so terribly unusual. Why shouldn't we be able to handle it?"

I smiled and held her close. "We can handle anything. Was there anything else unusual?"

"The scan couldn't tell me gender yet. It detected non-human elements in my body, but it didn't tell me there was any danger."

"That's good... but I haven't seen this machine, so I'm not sure how reliable it is."

"I think it's really good. It's helped us a lot the last couple years. Oh, after I wiped the records I told Jean I'm pregnant and she said I could take maternity leave whenever I needed to. Of course, once the baby's born... or once the _babies are born_, I guess I should say... I may be too busy with them to go back at all."

"Maybe. We'll see when the time comes." I leaned down and kissed her. "I'm so glad you're all right. And even though it might make things difficult, I think two kids will be brilliant."

* * *

_What do you think? Will twins be twice as good? Thanks for reading and please leave a comment. ^^  
_


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